Explanatory Notes        Apparatus Notes ()

Source: Colfax (Iowa) Clipper, 1883.08.11 ([])

Cue: "I find the"

Source format: "Transcript"

Letter type: "[standard letter]"

Notes:

Last modified:

Revision History: Larson, Brian

Published on MTPO: 2023

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MTPDocEd
To Magnetic Rock Spring Company
1 August 1883 • Elmira, N.Y. (Transcript of Colfax [Iowa] Clipper, 11 August 1883: CU-MARK, UCCL 02817)
To the Magnetic Rock Spring Company:
Dear Sirs:—I find the following in your advertising pamphlet:

“Our Magnetic Rock Spring is 335 feet deep, &emendation has a flow of 5,000 gallons in twenty-four hours.”

I note this paragraph, also:

“Our Magnetic Rock Spring Water cures Rheumatism, Dyspepsia, Liver Complaint, Constipation, Dropsy, Paralysis, St. Vitus’ Dance, Delirium Tremens, Diabetes, Stone in the Bladder, Blood Diseases, Scrofula, Ulcers, Female Weakness & General Debility.”

I do believe that is what is the matter with me. It reads just like my symptoms. Therefore, please send me, with bill, one barrel of your Magnetic Water, & if I like it I will take the rest.

Also, please instruct me as to dose—for adult. Also, what do you put with it? I mean, what do you put with it to divert your mind from observing that you are taking medicine? Will it go with temperance beverages! I mean, soda water, lemonade, panada, milk, whisky, & such things. I am thus strict because I am a Grandson of Temperance, my father having been a Son of Temperance. Temperance is deeply imbedded in our family. It is for this reason that I ask, & repeat, will it go with temperance beverages?—will it go with the moistures I have mentioned? If with whisky, what portion of the water is best, combined with what disproportion of whisky?—for an adult, as remarked before.

Yours, in alert expectancy.
Mark Twain

P. S. The order is genuine, anyway. The rest of the screed—now that I come to read it over—appears to wander from the point, in places.

Textual Commentary
Source text(s):

Transcript of Colfax (Iowa) Clipper, 11 August 1883, CU-MARK. No copy of the Colfax Clipper for this date has been found; an unidentified typed transcript in CU-MARK is therefore source text.

Previous Publication:

The Iowa State Medical Reporter 1.1 (July 1883), 32.

Emendations and Textual Notes
 Elmira ● The following characteristic letter was handed us by W. T. Dart, Superintendent of the Magnetic Rock Spring Company, of Colfax, Iowa.—[Editor Clipper. | Elmira
 & ● and here and hereafter
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