Susy’sⒶapparatus note BiographyⒶapparatus note continued—Cadet of Temperance—First meeting of Mr. Clemens and Miss Langdon—Miss Langdon an invalid—Dr. Newton.
I recall several of them without much difficulty.Ⓐapparatus note In Hannibal, when I was about fifteen, I was for a short time a Cadet of TemperanceⒺexplanatory note, an organization which probably covered the whole United States during as much as a year—possibly even longer. It consisted in a pledge to refrain, during membership, from the use of tobacco; I mean it consisted partly in that pledge and partly in a red merino sash, but the red merino sash was the main part. The boys joined in order to be privilegedⒶapparatus note to wear it—the pledge part of the matter was of no consequence. It was so small in importance that contrasted with the sash it was, in effect, non-existent.Ⓐapparatus note The organization was weak and impermanent because there were not enough holidays to support it. We could turn out and march and show the red sashes on May-day with the Sunday-schools, and on the Fourth of July with the Sunday-schools, the independent Fire Company and the Militia Company. But you can’t keep a juvenile moral institution alive on two displays of its sash per year. As a private, I could not have held out beyond one procession, but I was Illustrious Grand Worthy Secretary and RoyalⒶapparatus note Inside Sentinel, and had the privilege of inventing the passwords and of wearing a rosette on my sash. Under these conditions, I was enabled to remain steadfast until I had gathered the glory of two displays—May-day and the Fourth of July. ThenⒶapparatus note I resigned straightway; and straightway left the Lodge.
I had not smoked for three full months, and no words can adequately describe the smoke-appetiteⒶapparatus note that was consuming me. I had been a smoker from my ninth year—a private one during the first two years, but a public one after that—that is to say, after my father’s death. I was smoking, and utterly happy, before I was thirty steps from the Lodge door. I do not now know what the brand of the cigar was. It was probably not choice, or the previous smoker would not have thrown it away so soon. But I realized that it was the best cigar that was ever made. The previous smoker would have thought the same, if he had been without a smoke for three months. I smoked that stub without shame. I could not do it now without shame, because now I am more refined than I was then. But I would smoke it, just the same. I know myself, and I know the human race, well enough to know that.
In those days the native cigar was so cheap that a person who could afford anything, could afford cigars. Mr. GarthⒺexplanatory note had a great tobacco factory, and there wasⒶapparatus note a small shop in the village for the retail sale of his products. He had one brand of cigars which even poverty itself was able to buy. He had had these in stock a good many years, and although they looked well enough on the outside, their insides had decayed to dust and would fly out like a puff of vapor when they were broken in two. This brand was very popular on account of its extreme cheapness. Mr. Garth had other brands which were cheap, and some that were bad, but the supremacy [begin page 355] over them enjoyed by this brand was indicated by its name. It was called “Garth’s damnedest.”Ⓐapparatus note We used to trade old newspapers (exchanges)Ⓔexplanatory note for that brand.
There was another shop in the village where the conditions were friendly to penniless boys. It was kept by a lonely and melancholy little hunchback, and we could always get a supply of cigars by fetching a bucket of water for him from the village pump, whether he needed water or not. One day we found him asleep in his chair—a custom of his—and we waited patiently for him to wake up, which was a custom of ours. But he slept so long, this time, that at last our patience was exhausted, and we tried to wake him—but he was dead. I remember the shock of it yet.
In my early manhood, and in middle-life, I used to vex myself with reforms, every now and then. And I never had occasion to regret these divergencies, for whether the resulting deprivations were long or short, the rewarding pleasure which I got out of the vice when I returned to it, always paid me for all that it cost. However, I feel sure that I have written about these experiments in the book called “Following the Equator.”Ⓔexplanatory note By and by I will look and see. Meantime,Ⓐapparatus note I will drop the subject and go back to Susy’s sketch of me:Ⓐapparatus note
From Susy’s Biography.Ⓐapparatus note
After papa had been a pilot on the Mississippi for a time, Uncle Orion Clemens, his brother, was appointed Secretary of the State of Nevada, and papa went with him out to Nevada to be his secretary. AfterⒶapparatus notewards he became interested in mining in California; then he reported for a newspaper and was on several newspapers. Then he was sent to the Sandwich Islands. After that he came back to America and his friends wanted him to lecture so he lectured. Then he went abroad on the Quaker CityⒺexplanatory note, and on board that ship he became equainted with Uncle Charlie (Mr. C. J. Langdon, of Elmira,Ⓐapparatus note New York). Papa and Uncle Charlie soon became friends, and when they returned from their journey Grandpa Langdon, Uncle Charlie’s father, told Uncle Charlie to invite Mr. Clemens to dine with them at the St. Nicholas Hotel, in New York. Papa accepted the invitation and went to dine at the St. Nicholas with Grandpa and there he met mamma (Olivia LouiseⒶapparatus note Langdon) first. But they did not meet again until the next August, because papa went away to California, and there wrote “The Inocense Abroad.”
I will remark here that SusyⒶapparatus note is not quite correct as to that next meeting. That first meeting was on the 27th of December, 1867, and the next one was at the house of Mrs. Berry, five days laterⒺexplanatory note. Miss Langdon had gone there to help Mrs. Berry receive New Year guests. I went there at ten in the morning to pay a New Year call. I had thirty-four calls on my list, and this was the first one. I continued it during thirteen hours, and put the other thirty-three off till next year.
From Susy’s Biography.Ⓐapparatus note
MammaⒶapparatus note was the daughter of Mr. Jervis Langdon, (I don’t know whether Grandpa had a middle name or not) and Mrs. Olivia LewisⒶapparatus note Langdon, of Elmira, New York. She had one brother and one sister, Uncle Charlie (Charles J. Langdon) and Aunt SusieⒶapparatus note (Susan Langdon Crane). Mamma loved Grandpa more than any one else in the world. He was her idol and she his, I think mamma’s love for grandpa must have very much resembled my love for mamma. Grandpa was a great and good man and we all think of him with [begin page 356] respect and love. Mamma was an invalid when she was young, and had to give up study a long time.Ⓐapparatus note
She became an invalid at sixteen, through a partial paralysis caused by falling on the ice, and she was never strong again while her life lastedⒺexplanatory note. After that fall she was not able to leave her bed during two years, nor was she able to lie in any position except upon her back. All the great physicians were brought to Elmira, one after another, during that time, but there was no helpful result. In those days both worlds were well acquainted with the name of Dr. Newton, a man who was regarded in both worlds as a quackⒺexplanatory note. He moved through the land in state; in magnificence, like a portent; like a circus. Notice of his coming was spread upon the dead walls in vast colored posters, along with his formidable portrait, several weeks beforehand.
One day Andrew LangdonⒺexplanatory note, a relative of the Langdon family,Ⓐapparatus note came to the house and said: “You have tried everybody else, now try Dr. Newton, the quack. He is down town at the RathbunⒶapparatus note House practisingⒶapparatus note upon the well-to-do at war prices and upon the poor for nothing. I saw himⒶapparatus note wave his hands over Jake Brown’s head and take his crutches away from him and send him about his business as good as new. I saw himⒶapparatus note do the like with some other cripples. TheyⒶapparatus note may have been ‘temporaries’Ⓐapparatus note instituted for advertising purposes, and not genuine. But Jake is genuine. Send for Newton.”
Newton came. He found the young girl upon her back. Over her was suspended a tackle from the ceiling. It had been there a long time, but unused. It was put there in the hope that by its steady motion she might be lifted to a sitting posture, at intervals, for rest. But it proved a failure. Any attempt to raise her brought nausea and exhaustion, and had to be relinquished. Newton made some passes about her head with his hands; then he put an arm behind her shoulders and said “NowⒶapparatus note we will sit up, my child.”Ⓔexplanatory note
The family were alarmed, and tried to stop him, but he was not disturbed, and raised her up. She sat several minutes, without nausea or discomfort. Then Newton said that that would do for the present, he would come again next morning;Ⓐapparatus note which he did. He made some passes with his hands and said, “NowⒶapparatus note we will walk a few steps, my child.” He took her out of bed and supported her while she walked several steps; then he said “I have reached the limit of my art. She is not cured. It is not likely that she will ever be cured. She will never be able to walk far, but after a little daily practice she will be able to walk one or two hundred yards, and she can depend on being able to doⒶapparatus note that for the rest of her life.”
His charge was fifteen hundred dollars, and it was easily worth aⒶapparatus note hundred thousand. For from the day that she was eighteen, until she was fifty-six, she was always able to walk a couple of hundred yards without stopping to rest; and more than once I saw her walk a quarter of a mile without serious fatigue.
Newton was mobbed in Dublin, in London, and in other places. He was rather frequently mobbed in Europe and in America, but never by the gratefulⒶapparatus note Langdons and ClemensesⒶapparatus note. I met Newton once, in after years, and asked him what his secret was. He said he didn’t know, but thought perhaps some subtle form of electricity proceeded from his body and wrought the cures.
I was for a short time a Cadet of Temperance] Started in 1846 in Germantown, Pennsylvania, the Cadets of Temperance was a youth auxiliary of the Sons of Temperance. Initiates pledged to abstain from alcohol and tobacco. The Hannibal “Section” was founded in 1850, and Clemens was among the earliest members; his signature is the first on its manuscript “Constitution.” His friend Tom Nash and his brother Henry were also members. By his own report Clemens resigned in early July 1850. His name figures in a manuscript list of cadets dated “Nov. 25 1850,” possibly recording members delinquent in paying dues. His experience as a cadet is transferred to Tom in Tom Sawyer, chapter 22, and these ritualized temperance meetings are burlesqued in “The Autobiography of a Damned Fool,” chapter 4 (SLC 1877b; Eddy 1887, 340; SLC 1867h; Wecter 1952, 152–54; Cadets of Temperance [1850]; S&B, 149–53).
Mr. Garth] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 9 March 1906, note at 401.30–34.
We used to trade old newspapers (exchanges)] The post office allowed a newspaper publisher to send a single “exchange copy” to an unlimited number of papers, free of postage. This arrangement functioned as a primitive wire service, with news items being picked up and circulated nationwide. Having perused and clipped articles from the “exchanges,” a newspaper office would throw them away (Kielbowicz 1989, 141–61).
However, I feel sure that I have written . . . “Following the Equator.”] See Following the Equator, chapter 1.
papa had been a pilot . . . out to Nevada to be his secretary . . . Quaker City] See the Autobiographical Dictations of 12 January 1906 (note at 270.1) and 29 March 1906, as well as “Notes on ‘Innocents Abroad.’ ”
That first meeting . . . five days later] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 1 February 1906, note at 320.32–34.
She became an invalid . . . and she was never strong again while her life lasted] The nature of Olivia’s ailment has been much debated. She became ill earlier, and recovered later, than Clemens allowed for in this dictation. Already “in very delicate health” at the age of fourteen (1860), she was treated by doctors and spent time at the Elmira Water Cure. Showing little improvement, she was sent to a sanatorium in Washington, D.C., and then to the Institute of Swedish Movement Cure in New York City, which prescribed kinesipathy (curative muscle movements). She spent more than two years there before returning home to Elmira. The visit from “Dr.” Newton (see the note at 356.7–8) occurred on 30 November 1864. Olivia’s case was recalled by Newton’s private secretary, writing about the cures wrought during that period:
One of these was at Elmira, N.Y., where Dr. N. went to treat Miss Libbie Langdon, whom he cured, and she has since married the author known as “Mark Twain.” Dr. N. found her suffering with spinal disease; could not be raised to a sitting posture in her bed for over four years. She was almost like death itself. With one characteristic treatment he made her to cross the room with assistance, and in a few days the cure was complete. (Newton 1879, 294)
Langdon family letters and papers, however, show that despite Newton’s visits Olivia’s health was still seriously impaired. She had a second visit from Newton on 3 June 1865, and was still unable to walk almost a year after that. A second stay at the Movement Institute in 1866 recovered her considerably; she regained her mobility but, as Clemens says, her health remained fragile (Skandera-Trombley 1994, 83–85, 90, 92–94).
Dr. Newton, a man who was regarded in both worlds as a quack] James Rogers Newton (1810–83), a businessman from Newport, Rhode Island, performed massively attended public “healings” in both America and England. He was not well regarded by either the scientific or the religious community. He seems to have had no medical training, and attributed his powers variously to “magnetic force,” “controlling spirits,” and “the Father that dwelleth in me.” His usual practice was “the laying on of hands,” but some remedies were less conventional: one patient suffering from tuberculosis was told “Go, take a male chicken, cut off the head, split it in the back, and place it, warm, on your breast” (Newton 1879, 206–71, 112–13, 38; “Rev. Dr. Buckley and Newton the Healer” 1883, 519; Ober 2003, 129–34). There is no independent documentation of Clemens’s own meeting with Newton (356.37–40).
Andrew Langdon] Langdon (1835–1919) was Olivia’s first cousin.
Newton made some passes . . . “Now we will walk a few steps, my child.”] Paine revised this passage on the typescript as follows, presumably in order to lend the whole transaction a more conventional, Christian cast:
Newton made some passes about her head with his hands; opened the windows—long darkened—and delivered a short, fervent prayer; then he put an arm behind her shoulders and said “Now we will sit up, my child.”
The family were alarmed, and tried to stop him, but he was not disturbed, and raised her up. She sat several minutes, without nausea or discomfort. Then Newton said, that that would do for the present, he would come again next morning; which he did. He made some passes with his hands and said, “Now we will walk a few steps, my child.”
Paine partly explained himself in the margin, saying “He came but once ABP” (TS1, 309–10). The historical record shows that Paine was mistaken.
Source documents.
TS1 Typescript, leaves numbered 302–10, made from Hobby’s notes and revised.TS2 Typescript, leaves numbered 445–52, made from the revised TS1 and further revised.
Clemens apparently considered but then rejected this dictation for possible publication through Samuel McClure’s newspaper syndicate, writing ‘Not for MC’ on the first page of TS1 (see the Introduction, p. 29). Paine reviewed TS2 for possible publication in the NAR, bracketing several words to suggest omission and adding two paragraph breaks, but he did not select an excerpt. Clemens then revised TS2, deleting the bracketed words.
Marginal Notes on TS1 and TS2 Concerning Publication in the NAR