Explanatory Notes
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Apparatus Notes
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Autobiographical Dictation, 14 February 1906 ❉ Textual Commentary

Source documents.

TS1      Typescript, leaves numbered 311–19, made from Hobby’s notes and revised.
TS2      Typescript, leaves numbered 453–61, made from the revised TS1.


Clemens considered this dictation for possible publication through Samuel McClure’s newspaper syndicate, writing ‘M C’ in blue pencil on the first page of TS1; that notation was later partially erased (see the Introduction, p. 29). Paine reviewed TS2 for possible publication in the NAR, bracketing several words to suggest omission. Clemens decided not to publish the dictation and did not revise TS2. A fragment of TS2 carbon has survived, containing the penultimate paragraph of the text. The date ‘1904’, the year of Olivia Clemens’s death, was inscribed on the fragment, apparently by Clemens himself.


Marginal Notes on TS1 and TS2 Concerning Publication in the NAR


Location on TS Writer, Medium Exact Transcription Explanation
TS1, p. 311 SLC, ink solid use extract styling for the text from Susy’s biography
TS2, p. 453 SLC, ink Use none of this batch | SLC  
TS2, p. 454 Paine, pencil passage bracketed and queried possibly omit ‘and for the unborn tribe of Clemenses—’ (357.21)
TS2, p. 458 Paine, pencil word bracketed possibly omit ‘(Stebbins,)’ (358.38)
[begin page 357]
Wednesday, Februaryapparatus note 14, 1906

About the accident which prolonged Mr. Clemens’s visit at the Langdons’.

From Susy’s Biography.apparatus note

Soonapparatus note papa came back East and papa and mamma were married.apparatus note

It sounds easy and swift and unobstructed, but that was not the way of it. It did not happen in that smooth and comfortable way. There was a deal of courtship. There were three or four proposals of marriage and just as many declinations. I was roving far and wide on the lecture beat, but I managed to arrive in Elmira every now and then and renew the siege. Once I dugapparatus note an invitation out of Charleyapparatus note Langdon to come and stay a weekexplanatory note. It was a pleasant week, but it had to come to an end. I was not able to invent any way to get the invitation enlarged.apparatus note No schemesapparatus note that I could contrive seemed likely to deceive.apparatus note They did not even deceive me, and when a person cannot deceive himself the chances are against his being able to deceive other people. But at last help and good fortuneapparatus note came, and from a most unexpected quarter. It was one of those cases so frequent in the past centuries, so infrequent in our day—a case where the hand of Providence is in it.

I was ready to leave for New York. A democratapparatus note wagonexplanatory note stood outside the main gate with my trunk in it, and Barney, the coachman, in the front seat with the reins in his hand. It was eight or nine in the evening, and dark. I bade good-bye to the grouped family on the front porch,apparatus note and Charleyapparatus note and I went out and climbed into the wagon. We took our places back of the coachman on the remaining seat, which was aft toward the end of the wagon, and was only a temporary arrangement for our accommodation, and was not fastened in its place; a fact which—most fortunately for me, and for the unborn tribe of Clemenses—we were not aware of. Charleyapparatus note was smoking. Barney touched up the horse with the whip. He made a sudden spring forward. Charleyapparatus note and I went over the stern of the wagon backward. In the darkness the red bud of fire on the end of his cigar described a curve through the air which I can see yet. This was the only visible thing in all that gloomy scenery. I struck exactly on the top of my head and stood up that way for a moment, then crumbled down to the earth unconscious. It was a very good unconsciousness for a person who had not rehearsed the part. It was a cobblestone gutter, and they had been repairing it. My head struck in a dish formed by the conjunction of four cobblestones. That depression was half full of fresh new sand, and this made a competent cushion. My head did not touch any of those cobblestones. I got not a bruise. I was not evenapparatus note jolted. Nothing was the matter with me at all. Charleyapparatus note was considerably battered, but in his solicitude for meapparatus note he was substantially unaware of it. The whole family swarmed out, Theodore Crane in the van with a flask of brandy. He poured enough of it between my lips to strangle me and make me bark, but it did not abate my unconsciousness. I was taking care of that myself. It was very pleasant to hear the pitying remarks drizzlingapparatus note around over me. That was one of the happiest half-dozen moments of my life. There was nothing to mar it—except that I had escaped damage. I was afraid that this would be discovered sooner or later, and would shorten my visit. I was such a dead weight that it required the combined strength of Barney and Mr. Langdon, [begin page 358] Theodore and Charleyapparatus note, to lug me into the house, but it was accomplished. I was there. I recognized that this was victory. I was there. I was safe to beapparatus note an incumbranceapparatus note for an indefinite length of time—but for a length of time, at any rate, and a Providence was in it. They set me up in an arm-chair in the parlor and sent for the family physician. Poor old devil,apparatus note it was wrong to rout him out, but it was business, and I was too unconscious to protest. Mrs. Crane—dear soul, she was in this house three days ago, gray and beautiful, and as sympathetic as ever—Mrs. Crane brought a bottle of some kind of liquid fire whose function was to reduce contusions. But I knew that mine would deride it and scoff atapparatus note it. She poured thisapparatus note on my head and pawed it around with her hand, stroking and massaging, the fierceapparatus note stuff dribbling down my back-bone and marking its way, inch by inch, with the sensation of a forest fire. But I was satisfied. When she was getting worn out, her husband, Theodore, suggested that she take a rest and let Livy carry on the assuaging for a while. That was very pleasant. I should have been obliged to recover presently if it hadn’t been for that. But under Livy’s manipulations—if they had continued—apparatus noteI should probably be unconscious to this day. It was very delightful, those manipulations. So delightful, so comforting, so enchanting, that they even soothed the fire out of that fiendish successor to Perry Davis’s Pain-Killerapparatus note.

Then that old family doctor arrived and went at the matter in an educated and practical way—that is to say, he started a search expedition for contusions and humps and bumps, and announced that there were none. He said that if I would go to bed and forget my adventure I would be all right in the morning—which was not so. I was not all right in the morning. I didn’t intend to be all right, and I was far from being all right. But I said I only needed rest, and I didn’t need that doctor any more.

I got a good three days’ extension out of that adventure, and it helped a good deal. It pushed my suit forward several steps. A subsequent visit completed the matter, and we became engaged conditionally;apparatus note the condition being that the parents should consent.

In a private talk, Mr. Langdon called my attention to something I had already noticed—which was that I was an almost entirely unknown person; that no one around about knew me except Charleyapparatus note, and he was too young to be a reliable judge of men; that I was from the other side of the continentapparatus note; and that only those people out there would be able to furnish me a character, in case I had one—so he asked me for references. I furnished them, and he said we would now suspend our industries and I could go away and wait until he could write to those people and get answers.

Inapparatus note due course answers came. I was sent for and we had another private conference. I had referred him to six prominent men, among them two clergymen (these were all San Franciscans) and he himself had written to a bank cashier who had in earlier years been a Sunday-school superintendentapparatus note in Elmira, and well known to Mr. Langdon. The results were not promising. All those men were frank to a fault. They not only spoke in disapproval of me, but they were quite unnecessarily and exaggeratedly enthusiastic about it. One clergyman, (Stebbins,)explanatory note and that ex-Sunday-school superintendentapparatus note, (I wish I could recall his name),apparatus note added to their black testimony the conviction that I would fill a drunkard’s grave. It was just one of those usual long-distance prophecies. There being no time-limit, there is no telling how long you may have to wait. I have waited until now, and the fulfillment seems as far away as ever.

[begin page 359]

The reading of the letters being finished, there was a good deal of a pause, and it consisted largely of sadness and solemnity. I couldn’t think of anything to say. Mr. Langdon was apparently in the same condition. Finally he raised his handsome head, fixed his clear and candid eye upon me and said “What kind of people are these? Haven’t you a friend in the world?”apparatus note

I said “Apparently not.”

Then he said “I’ll be your friend myself. Take the girl. I know you better than they do.”

Thus dramatically and happily was my fate settled. Afterward, hearing me talking lovingly, admiringly, and fervently of Joe Goodman, he asked me where Goodman lived.

Iapparatus note told him out on the Pacific coast.

Heapparatus note said “Why he seems to be a friend of yours. Is he?”

I said “Indeed he is; the best one I ever had.”

“Why then,”apparatus note he said, “what could you have been thinking of? Why didn’t you refer me to him?explanatory note

Iapparatus note said “Because heapparatus note would have lied just as straightforwardly on the other side. The others gave me all the vices,apparatus note Goodman would have given me all the virtues. You wanted unprejudicedapparatus note testimony, of course. I knew you wouldn’t get it from Goodman. I did believe you would get it from those others, and possibly you did. But it was certainly less complimentary than I was expecting.”

The date of our engagement was February 4th, 1869. The engagement ring was plain, and of heavy gold. That date was engraved inside of it. A year later I took it from her finger and prepared it to do service as a wedding ring by having the wedding-date added andapparatus note engraved inside of it—February 2, 1870. It was never again removed from her finger for even a moment.

In Italy, a year and eight months ago, when death had restored her vanished youth to her sweet faceapparatus note and she lay fair and beautiful and looking as she had looked when she was girl and bride, they were going to take that ring from her finger to keep for the children. But I prevented that sacrilege. It is buried with her.

In the beginning of our engagement the proofs of my first book, “The Innocents Abroad,” began to arrive, and she read them with me. She also edited them. She was my faithful, judicious and painstaking editor from that day forthapparatus note until within three or four months of her death—a stretch of more than a third of a century.

Revisions, Variants Adopted or Rejected, and Textual Notes Wednesday, February 14, 1906
  title Wednesday, February ●  Wednesday, Feb. (TS1-Hobby)  Wednesday, Feb. (TS2) 
  From Susy’s Biography.  ●  From Susy ’s Biography. insertion by SLC; ‘’s’ added by Hobby  (TS1-SLC + Hobby)  From Susy’s Biography. (TS2) 
  Soon ●  “Soon (TS1, TS2) 
  married. ●  married.” (TS1, TS2) 
  dug ●  got dug  (TS1-SLC)  dug (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie (TS1, TS2) 
  enlarged. ●  extended. enlarged.  (TS1-SLC)  enlarged. (TS2) 
  schemes ●  schemes  (TS1-SLC)  schemes (TS2) 
  deceive. ●  deceive. deceive. Hobby had typed ‘decieve.’ and then corrected it on the typewriter; SLC presumably rewrote the word for clarity  (TS1-SLC)  deceive. (TS2) 
  good fortune ●  good-fortune (TS1, TS2) 
  democrat ●  democrat (TS1)  democrat  (TS2-Paine) 
  porch, ●  porch,  (TS1-SLC)  porch, (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  even ●  even  (TS1-SLC)  even (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  me ●  me originally me ; underscore canceled  (TS1-SLC)  me (TS2) 
  drizzling ●  driveling drizzling  (TS1-SLC)  drizzling (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  safe to be ●  safe to be  (TS1-SLC)  safe to be (TS2) 
  incumbrance ●  encumbrance (TS1, TS2) 
  devil, ●  devil, creature,  (TS1-SLC)  creature, (TS2) 
  deride it and scoff at ●  be too many for deride it and scoff at  (TS1-SLC)  deride it and scoff at (TS2) 
  this ●  this stuff  (TS1-SLC)  this (TS2) 
  the fierce ●  and that the fierce  (TS1-SLC)  the fierce (TS2) 
  —if they had continued— ●  —if they had continued—  (TS1-SLC)  —if they had continued— (TS2) 
  Pain-Killer ●  “Pain-Killer” (TS1, TS2) 
  conditionally; ●  conditionally, ; comma mended to a semicolon  (TS1-SLC)  conditionally; (TS2) 
  Charley ●  Charlie ey  (TS1-SLC)  Charley (TS2) 
  continent ●  C continent ‘C’ marked for lowercase with a slash  (TS1-Hobby)  continent (TS2) 
  In ●  In (TS1-SLC)  In (TS2) 
  superintendent ●  Superintendent (TS1, TS2) 
  superintendent ●  Superintendent (TS1, TS2) 
  (I wish I could recall his name), ●  (I wish I could recall his name),  (TS1-SLC)  (I wish I could recall his name), (TS2) 
  world?” ●  world?” (TS1)  world? (TS2) 
  I ●  no I (TS1)  I (TS2) 
  He ●  no He (TS1)  He (TS2) 
  then,” ●  then,  (TS1-SLC)  then,” (TS2) 
  I ●  “Why” I (TS1-SLC)  I (TS2) 
  “Because he ●  “because he (TS1-SLC)  “because he (TS2) 
  vices, ●  vices. ,  (TS1-SLC)  vices, (TS2) 
  unprejudiced ●  an unprejudiced (TS1-SLC)  unprejudiced (TS2) 
  1869  ●  (1869) typed in the margin  (TS1, TS2) 
  wedding-date added and ●  wedding-date added and  (TS1-SLC)  wedding-date added and (TS2) 
  1870  ●  (1870) typed in the margin  (TS1, TS2) 
  sweet face ●  sweet face  (TS1-SLC)  sweet face (TS2) 
  1904  ●  not in  (TS1)  1904 inserted in the margin  (TS2 carbon-SLC) 
  forth ●  forth,  (TS1-SLC)  forth (TS2) 
Explanatory Notes Wednesday, February 14, 1906
 

There were three or four proposals of marriage . . . stay a week] Clemens’s courtship of Olivia was accomplished between his lecturing engagements in the fall of 1868. In early September she turned down his offer of marriage, but by the end of November, after two more refusals, she accepted. Clemens slightly exaggerated when he said his planned visit was extended by three days (357.8, 358.23): Olivia wrote on the day of his departure, 29 September, that he had planned to stay one day, and stayed one more because of his accident (L2: 7 and 8 Sept 1868 to OLL, 247–49; 28 Nov 1868 to Twichell, 293–94; OLL to Hooker, 29 Sept 1868, CtHSD).

 

democrat wagon] “A light wagon without a top, containing several seats, and usually drawn by two horses” (Whitney and Smith 1889–91, 2:1526–27).

 

I had referred him to six prominent men . . . (Stebbins,)] Only two of the men to whom Clemens referred Langdon in late November 1868 are known, both clergymen. The Reverend Horatio Stebbins (1821–1902), pastor of the First Unitarian Church, replied (in Clemens’s paraphrase): “ ‘Clemens is a humbug—shallow & superficial—a man who has talent, no doubt, but will make a trivial & possibly a worse use of it—a man whose life promised little & has accomplished less—a humbug, Sir, a humbug.’ That was the spirit of the remarks—I have forgotten the precise language” (25 Aug 1869 to Stoddard, MTPO [a fuller text than published in L3 ]). The other clergyman was the Reverend Charles Wadsworth (1814–82), pastor of Howard Presbyterian Church. Langdon himself wrote to James S. Hutchinson, a former employee then working as a bank cashier in San Francisco, asking him to investigate Clemens’s reputation. Hutchinson interviewed James B. Roberts, one of Wadsworth’s deacons, and reported his assessment: “I would rather bury a daughter of mine than have her marry such a fellow” (Hutchinson 1910). On 29 December, even before these troubling estimates could have reached Elmira, Clemens provided the Langdons with ten additional references (L2: 17 June 1868 to Fairbanks, 229 n. 2; 29 Dec 1868 to Langdon, 358–59, 360–61 n. 2).

 

Joe Goodman . . . Why didn’t you refer me to him?] Clemens had in fact referred Langdon to Goodman and other known friends—but only after he realized what the likely result of the first six names would be, one month after giving them to Langdon (29 Dec 1868 to Langdon, L2, 358).