Orion Clemens’s personality—His adventure at the house of Dr. Meredith—His threeⒶapparatus note o’clock a.m. call on young lady—Death of Mr. Clemens’s father, just after having been made County Judge— Mr. Clemens’s small income after having become bankrupt through maladministration of Charles L. Webster.
My brother’s experience was another conspicuous example of my scheme’s efficiency. I will talk about that by and by. But for the moment my interest suddenly centresⒶapparatus note itself upon his personality, moved thereto by this passing mention of him—and so I will drop other matters and sketch that personality. It is a very curious one. In all my seventy years I have not met the twin of it.
OrionⒶapparatus note Clemens was born in Jamestown, Fentress County,Ⓐapparatus note Tennessee, in 1825. He was the family’s first-born, and antedated me ten years. Between him and me came a sister, Margaret, who died, aged ten, in 1837 in that village of Florida, Missouri, where I was born; and Pamela, mother of Samuel E. Moffett, who was an invalid all her life and died in the neighborhood of New York a year ago, aged about seventy-five, after experimenting with every malady known to the human race and with every medicine and method of healing known to that race, and enjoying each malady in its turn and each medicine and each healing method, with an enthusiasm known only to persons with a passion for novelties.Ⓐapparatus note Her character was without blemish, and she was of a most kindly and gentle disposition.Ⓐapparatus note Also there was a brother, Benjamin, who died in 1843 aged ten or twelveⒺexplanatory note.
Orion’s boyhood was spent in that wee little log hamlet of Jamestown up there among the “knobs”—so called—of east Tennessee, among a very sparse population of primitives who [begin page 452] were as ignorant of the outside world and as unconscious of it as were the other wild animals that inhabited the forest around.Ⓐapparatus note The family migrated to Florida, Missouri, then moved to Hannibal, Missouri, when Orion was twelve and a halfⒶapparatus note years old. When he was fifteen or sixteen he was sent to St. Louis and there he learned the printer’s trade. One of his characteristics was eagerness. He woke with an eagerness about some matter or other every morning; it consumed him all day; it perished in the night and he was on fire with a fresh new interest next morning before he could get his clothes on. He exploited in this way three hundred and sixty-five red hotⒶapparatus note new eagernesses every year of his life—until he died sitting at a table with a pen in his hand, in the early morning, jotting down the conflagration for that day and preparing to enjoy the fire and smoke of it until night should extinguish it. He was then seventy-two years old.Ⓐapparatus note But I am forgetting another characteristic, a very pronounced one. That was his deep glooms, his despondencies, his despairs; these hadⒶapparatus note their place in each and every day along with the eagernesses. Thus his day was divided—no, not divided, mottled—from sunrise to midnight with alternating brilliant sunshine and black cloud. Every day he was the most joyous and hopeful man that ever was, I think, and also every day he was the most miserable man that ever was.
While he was in his apprenticeship in St. Louis, he got well acquainted with Edward Bates, who was afterwardsⒶapparatus note in Mr. Lincoln’s first cabinetⒺexplanatory note. Bates was a very fine man, an honorable and upright man, and a distinguished lawyer. He patiently allowed Orion to bring to him each new project; he discussed it with himⒶapparatus note and extinguished it by argument and irresistible logic—at first. But after a few weeks he found that this labor was not necessary; that he could leave the new project alone and it would extinguish itself the same night. Orion thought he would like to become a lawyer. Mr. Bates encouraged him, and he studied law nearly a week, then of course laid it asideⒶapparatus note to try something new. He wanted to become an orator. Mr. Bates gave him lessons. Mr. Bates walked the floor reading from an English book aloud and rapidly turning the English into French, and he recommended this exercise to Orion. But as Orion knew no French, he took up that study and wrought at it like a volcano forⒶapparatus note two or three days;Ⓐapparatus note then gave it up. During his apprenticeship in St. Louis he joined a number of churches, one after another, and taught in theirⒶapparatus note Sunday-schools—changing his Sunday-school every time he changed his religion. He was correspondingly erratic in his politics—Whig to-day, Democrat next week, and anything fresh that he could find in the political market the week after. I may remark here that throughout his long life he was always trading religions and enjoying the change of scenery. I will also remark that his sincerity was never doubted; his truthfulness was never doubted; and in matters of business and money his honesty was never questioned. Notwithstanding his forever-recurringⒶapparatus note caprices and changes, his principles were high, always high, and absolutely unshakable. He was the strangest compound that ever got mixed in a human mouldⒶapparatus note. Such a person as that is given to acting upon impulse and without reflection; that was Orion’s way. Everything he did he did with conviction and enthusiasm and with a vainglorious pride in the thing he was doing—and no matter what that thing was, whether good, bad,Ⓐapparatus note or indifferent, he repented of it every time in sackcloth and ashes before twenty-four hours had sped. Pessimists are born, not made. Optimists are born, not made. But I think he was the only person I have ever known in whom pessimism and optimism were lodged in exactly equal proportions. [begin page 453] ExceptⒶapparatus note in the matter of grounded principle, he was as unstable as water. You could dash his spirits with a single word; you could raise them into the sky again with another one. You could break his heart with a word of disapproval; you could make him as happy as an angel with a word of approval. And there was no occasion to put any sense or any vestige of mentality of any kind into these miracles; anything you might say would answer.
He had another conspicuous characteristic, and it was the father of those which I have just spoken of. This was an intense lustⒶapparatus note for approval. He was so eager to be approved, so girlishly anxious to be approved by anybody and everybody, without discrimination, that he was commonly ready to forsake his notions, opinions and convictions at a moment’s notice in order to get the approval of any person who disagreed with them. I wish to be understood as reserving his fundamentalⒶapparatus note principles all the time. He never forsook those to please anybody. Born and reared among slaves and slave-holdersⒶapparatus note, he was yet an abolitionist from his boyhood to his death. He was always truthful; he was always sincere; he was always honest and honorable. But in light matters—matters of small consequence, like religion and politics and such things—he never acquired a conviction that could survive a disapproving remark from a cat.
He was always dreaming; he was a dreamer from birth, and this characteristic got him into trouble now and then. OnceⒶapparatus note when he was twenty-three or twenty-four years old, and was become a journeyman, he conceived the romantic idea of coming to Hannibal without giving us notice, in order that he might furnish to the family a pleasant surprise. If he had given notice, he would have been informed that we had changed our residence and that that gruff old bass-voicedⒶapparatus note sailor-manⒶapparatus note, Dr. MeredithⒺexplanatory note,Ⓐapparatus note our family physician, was living in the house which we had formerly occupied and that Orion’s former room in that house was now occupied by Dr. Meredith’s two ripe old-maidⒶapparatus note sisters. Orion arrived at Hannibal per steamboat in the middle of the night, and started with his customary eagerness on his excursion, his mind all on fire with his romantic project and building and enjoying his surprise in advance. He was always enjoying things in advance; it was the make of him. He never could wait for the event, but mustⒶapparatus note build it out of dream-stuffⒶapparatus note and enjoy it beforehand—consequently sometimes when the event happened he saw that it was not as good as the one he had invented in his imagination, and so he had lost profit by not keeping the imaginary one and letting the reality go.
When he arrived at the house he went around to the back door and slipped off his boots and crept up stairsⒶapparatus note and arrived at the room of those old maidsⒶapparatus note without having wakened anyⒶapparatus note sleepers. He undressed in the dark and got into bed and snuggled up against somebody.Ⓐapparatus note He was a little surprised, but not much—for he thought it was our brother Ben. It was winter, and the bed was comfortable, and the supposedⒶapparatus note Ben added to the comfort—and so he was dropping off to sleep very well satisfied with his progress so far and full of happy dreams of what was going to happen in the morning. But something else was going to happen sooner than that, and it happened now. The old maidⒶapparatus note that was being crowded squirmedⒶapparatus note and struggled and presently came to a half wakingⒶapparatus note condition and protested against the crowding. That voice paralysedⒶapparatus note Orion. He couldn’t move a limb; he couldn’t get his breath; and the crowded one began to paw around, found Orion’sⒶapparatus note new whiskers and screamed “Why it’s a man!”Ⓐapparatus note This removed the paralysis, and Orion was out of the bedⒶapparatus note and clawing aroundⒶapparatus note in the dark for his clothes in a fraction of a second. Both maids began to scream, then,Ⓐapparatus note so Orion did not wait to get his whole wardrobe.Ⓐapparatus note [begin page 454] He started with such parts of it as he could grab. He flew to the head of the stairs and started down, and wasⒶapparatus note paralysedⒶapparatus note again at that point, because he saw the faint yellow flame of a candle soaring up the stairs from below and he judged that Dr. MeredithⒶapparatus note was behind it, and he was.Ⓐapparatus note He had no clothes on to speak of, but no matter, he was well enough fixed for an occasion like this, because he had a butcher-knife in his hand. Orion shouted to him,Ⓐapparatus note and thisⒶapparatus note saved his life, for the Doctor recognized his voice. Then in those deep-sea-going bassⒶapparatus note tones of his that I used to admire so much when I was a little boy, he explained to Orion the change that had been made, told him where to find the ClemensⒶapparatus note family, and closed with some quite unnecessary advice about posting himself before he undertook another adventure like that—advice which Orion probably never needed again as long as he lived.
One bitter December nightⒶapparatus note, Orion sat up reading until three o’clock in the morning and then,Ⓐapparatus note without looking at a clock, sallied forth to call on a young lady. He hammered and hammered at the door; couldn’t get any response; didn’t understand it. Anybody else would have regarded that as an indication of some kind or other and would have drawn inferences and goneⒶapparatus note home. But Orion didn’t draw inferences, he merely hammered and hammered, and finally the father of the girlⒶapparatus note appeared at the door in a dressing-gown. He had a candle in his hand and the dressing-gown was all the clothing he had on—except an expression of unwelcome which was so thick and so large that it extended all down his frontⒶapparatus note to his instep and nearly obliterated the dressing-gown. But Orion didn’t notice that this was an unpleasant expression. He merely walked in. The old gentleman took him into the parlor, set the candle on a table, and stood. Orion made the usual remarks about the weather, and sat down—sat down and talked and talked and went on talking—that old man looking at him vindictively and waiting for his chance—waiting treacherously and malignantly for his chance. Orion had not asked for the young lady. It was not customary. It was understood that a young fellow came to see the girl of the house, not the founder of it. At last Orion got up and made some remark to the effect that probably the young lady was busy and he would go now and call again. That was the old man’s chance, and he said with fervency “Why good God,Ⓐapparatus note aren’t you going to stop to breakfast?”
When my father died, in 1847, the disaster happened—as is the customary way with such things—just at the very moment when our fortunes had changed andⒶapparatus note we were about to be comfortable once more, after several years of grinding poverty and privation which had been inflicted upon us by the dishonest act of one Ira StoutⒺexplanatory note, to whom my father had lent several thousand dollars—a fortune in those days and in that region. My father had just been elected County Judge. This modest prosperity was not only quite sufficient for us and for our ambitions, but he was so esteemed—held in such high regard and honor throughout the county—Ⓐapparatus notethat his occupancy of that dignified office would, in the opinion of everybody, be his possession as long as he might live. He went to PalmyraⒶapparatus note, the county-seatⒶapparatus note, to be sworn in, about the end of FebruaryⒺexplanatory note. In returning home, horseback, twelve miles, a storm of sleet and rain assailed him and he arrived at the house in a half frozen condition. Pleurisy followed and he died on the 24th of March.
Thus our splendid new fortune was snatched from us and we were in the depths of poverty again. It is the way such things are accustomed to happen.
[begin page 455]When I became a bankrupt through the ignorance and maladministration of Charles L. WebsterⒺexplanatory note, after having been robbed of a hundred and seventy thousand dollars by James W. Paige* during the seven immediately preceding years, we went to Europe in order to be able to live on what was left of our income, and it was sufficiently slender. During the succeeding ten or twelve years it was often as low as twelve thousand a year, and at no time did it reach above twenty thousand a year, I think. I am sure it did not reach above twelve thousand until two years before we returned from Europe, in OctoberⒶapparatus note 1900. Then it improved considerably, but it was too late to be of much service to Mrs. Clemens. She had endured the economies of that long stretch of years without a single murmur, and now when fortune turned in our favor it was too late. She was stricken down, and after twenty-two months of suffering she died. In Florence, Italy, June 5, 1904Ⓔexplanatory note.Ⓐapparatus note
As I have said, the Clemens family was penniless. Orion came to the rescue.
*Inventor of a type-setting machine of a most ingenious and marvelous character. There is but one; it is in Cornell UniversityⒺexplanatory note: preserved as a curiosity. It is all of that.Ⓐapparatus note
Orion Clemens was born in Jamestown . . . Benjamin, who died in 1843 aged ten or twelve] See the Appendix “Family Biographies” (p. 655) and “My Autobiography [Random Extracts from It],” note at 206.2–6.
Edward Bates, who was afterwards in Mr. Lincoln’s first cabinet] Bates (1793–1869) was Lincoln’s first attorney general, serving from March 1861 until November 1864. It was Bates who, soon after taking his cabinet office, secured Orion’s appointment as Nevada territorial secretary (6 Feb 1861 to OC and MEC, L1, 114 n. 9; see RI 1993, 574, for Bates’s letter of recommendation to William Seward, dated 12 Mar 1861).
Dr. Meredith] See the Autobiographical Dictation of 9 March 1906, note at 402.8–12.
the dishonest act of one Ira Stout] See “The Tennessee Land,” note at 62.41–63.1.
My father had just been elected County Judge . . . to be sworn in, about the end of February] This account of John Clemens’s career is not entirely accurate: see the Appendix “Family Biographies” (p. 654).
I became a bankrupt through . . . Charles L. Webster] The 1894 failure of Clemens’s own publishing house, Charles L. Webster and Company, was a critical element in his bankruptcy. Clemens unfairly blamed Webster for the firm’s collapse, although much of its decline came after his 1888 retirement as manager. See the note at 79.21–22 in “About General Grant’s Memoirs,” the Autobiographical Dictations of 2 June and 6 August 1906, and N&J3, passim.
In Florence, Italy, June 5, 1904] See “Villa di Quarto,” Clemens’s account of the family’s sojourn in Florence.
footnote *Inventor of a type-setting machine . . . Cornell University] See “The Machine Episode.” Paige built two prototypes. His 1887 machine survives at the Mark Twain House and Museum in Hartford. His 1894 machine went to Cornell University, which eventually donated it for scrap metal during World War II (Rasmussen 2007, 2:828).
Source documents.
TS1 Typescript, leaves numbered 579–87 and, erroneously, 579–81, made from Hobby’s notes and revised.TS2 (incomplete) Typescript, leaves numbered 723–32 (most of 733 and all of 734–35 are missing), made from the revised TS1 and further revised: ‘Wednesday . . . to breakfast?” ’ (451 title–454.28).
NAR 10pf Galley proofs of NAR 10, typeset from the revised TS2 and further revised, ViU (the same extent as NAR 10).
NAR 10 North American Review 184 (18 January 1907), 118–19: ‘Orion Clemens . . . to breakfast?” ’ (451.27–454.28).
Hobby made an error in the TS1 pagination; Clemens corrected her redundant typed numbers (579–81) to the correct numbers (588–90). Hobby incorporated his revisions on TS1 into TS2. Paine reviewed TS2 for possible publication in the NAR, writing queries next to two passages. The first was Clemens’s description of his sister Pamela Moffett, which suggested that she was a lifelong hypochondriac (‘after . . . novelties.’ [at 451.31–34]); the second was the beginning of the anecdote about Orion’s bedroom adventure with ‘Dr. Meredith’s two ripe old-maid sisters’ (‘Once . . . surprise.’ [at 453.17–19]). When Clemens revised TS2 to serve as printer’s copy for NAR 10, he softened the language in both instances. To his description of Pamela he added, ‘Her character was without blemish, and she was of a most kindly and gentle disposition.’ (451.34–35). This revision has been adopted in the present text on the assumption that it was not intended solely for magazine publication. When reading NAR 10pf he decided to delete the unflattering comments, which are, however, retained here. In the passage about Orion he made several revisions to tone down the language—revising the phrase quoted above, for example, to ‘Dr. G.’s two middle-aged maiden sisters’ (453.22–23; see also the entries for ‘squirmed’ at 453.37 and ‘began to paw around, found Orion’s’ at 453.39–40). The last pages of TS2, now missing, were cut away when the typescript was sent to the NAR, where Harvey wrote on TS2 in blue pencil: he indicated that the ‘10th’ excerpt should begin at the second paragraph and canceled one of Paine’s queries.
Marginal Notes on TS2 Concerning Publication in the NAR