Five or six weeks ago, when I was dictating those chapters of this autobiography whichⒶtextual note detail my disastrous adventures with Charles H.Ⓐtextual note Webb, my first publisher;Ⓐtextual note the American Publishing Company, my second publisher;Ⓐtextual note and Charles L. Webster, my third publisherⒺexplanatory note, I was by no means suspectingⒶtextual note that I was on the eve of a disastrous adventure with still another publisher, the great corporation of Harper and Brothers. Perhaps disastrous is not just the term for this last adventure;Ⓐtextual note possibly ridiculous is the better word. There was a sort of dignity about my adventure with Elisha Bliss, juniorⒶtextual note, of the American Publishing Company, in 1872, butⒶtextual note that quality is quite lacking in this present one with Harper and Brothers. Bliss,Ⓐtextual note in beguiling me into the belief that in changing the agreed wording of the contract for “Roughing It” from “halfⒶtextual note profit over and above cost of manufacture”Ⓐtextual note to a specified royalty,Ⓐtextual note was setting a trap for me, whereby he expected to rob me of about thirty thousand dollarsⒶtextual note, a trick which succeeded, as I have already explained. There was a sort of dignity about that,Ⓐtextual note for the reason that thirty thousand dollarsⒶtextual note was a great sum of money to that poor little publishing company, and worth the sinful trouble which Bliss took to acquire it. In the present instance, the trap which Mr. DunekaⒺexplanatory note set for me could result in a pecuniary advantage to Harper and Brothers of only ten or twelve thousand dollars, I imagine, and therefore, as I have suggested, the trick lacked dignity.

My experiencesⒶtextual note with Webb, and Bliss, and Webster stand as abiding proof that when it comes to examining a contract and understanding it, I am an incapable. I have shown that I misread and misunderstood thoseⒶtextual note contracts in every instance. My present experience is excellent evidence that I have no more ability in understanding a contract to-day than I had then. I wonder who is really the man hurt in a swindle—Ⓐtextual noteeventually: the perpetrator of it or the confiding ass who suffers from it?Ⓐtextual note Bliss captured my thirty thousand dollarsⒶtextual note, butⒶtextual note I made it cost him a quarter of a million thirteen years afterwardⒺexplanatory note. However, never mind this conundrum, I must get to the beginning of my subject.

The beginning was three years ago. I was anxious to get my books concentrated in one publisher’s hands. The Harpers had half of them, and the American Publishing Company had the other half. Collier wanted to publish a cheap edition of them by subscription, and he offered to guarantee a sale of forty thousandⒶtextual note sets a year. A concentration of the books in one publisher’s hands I presentlyⒶtextual note found to be impossible, butⒶtextual note Duneka said that he would be quite willing to give Bliss the subscription rights in the Harper [begin page 144] books if Bliss would give him in return the trade rights in the Bliss books. Duneka said that he had made this very offer to Bliss two years before. I said I didn’t see any reason why Bliss should not accept these terms. I placed the matter before Bliss, and at first he was willing, but when I went back to Duneka with that word, Duneka was no longer willing himself; he had heard of the Collier offer, and had changed his mindⒺexplanatory note. That was my first experience of Mr. Duneka’s facility in going back on his word.

At the end of 1902 I wrote some Christian Science articles, and published three of them in the North American Review Ⓐtextual note. The rest of the articles were not to be published serially, but were to be joined to the first three and issued in book form;Ⓐtextual note and that announcement was madeⒺexplanatory note. Duneka had the remaining matter set up and forwarded to me in the form of galley-proofsⒶtextual note. I read and revised these and put the book in shape for the composing-roomⒶtextual note. I took it to Mr. Duneka;Ⓐtextual note he did not break out into any enthusiasmsⒶtextual note about it, in fact he looked embarrassed. I inquired as to what might be the matter, and he developed the fact that he was afraid of the Christian Scientists. He said they were growing very strong, and would it be to my interest to publish such a book and antagonize this growing power? also, would it be to the interest of Harper and Brothers to antagonize that power? I said that if he was afraid, I didn’t wish to push a dangerous book upon him, and I would publish it elsewhere; but he said “No;Ⓐtextual note by no means no, if the book must be published, we wish to publish it ourselves.”Ⓐtextual note But I said I didn’t want a publisher who was afraid, and I would rather take it elsewhere. Also, I said that my interest in a book lay in the writing of it, so it was not a matter of great consequence to me whether it was published or not. Let it be suppressedⒶtextual note. But how was it to be suppressedⒶtextual note? The announcement had gone forth that it was to be published in book form at once. How was the suppressionⒶtextual note to be managed? Mr. Duneka said thatⒶtextual note that would be very easy, not a line need go into print about it; that he would privately inform the trade that it was found that the book could not be issued in time for the spring trade, therefore its publication had been postponed until the fallⒺexplanatory note. He said that by that time the trade would have forgotten that there was any such book, and we should not hear anything more about it. It was then agreed that Mr. Duneka should quiet the book down and prepare it for its grave without letting anything get into print about it. This was a distinct understanding, a plain and straightforward agreement, yet my back was hardly turned beforeⒶtextual note a notice to this effect appeared in the Publishers’ Weekly Ⓐtextual note of April 11th, 1903Ⓐtextual note:

Only one interpretation can be put upon this language:Ⓐtextual note that Harper and Brothers had refused my book, and were offensively proud of having done it. This was my second experience with Mr. Duneka as a promise-keeper.

He probably supposed that I would never see that notice, and in fact it was not likely that I would see it; but a Pittsburgh bookseller sent it to meⒺexplanatory note, and inquired why I had lost my grip and was afraid to issue the book. That was three years ago. Inquiries followed,Ⓐtextual note by letter,Ⓐtextual note [begin page 145] from persons in this country and in England, and I explained to them that the publication of the book was not my affair, that it was in the hands of Harper and Brothers, and they could best explain why it was not issued. Then other letters began to come from these inquirers, which said that upon application to Harper and Brothers for an explanation of why the book was not issued, the reply was that I had desired them to suppress the book.

I attributed all these slynesses to Mr. Duneka, who is the manager at Harpers,Ⓐtextual note and could tell the inquirers the truth if he wanted to, and could prevent the dissemination of spuriousⒶtextual note information if he so desired. The inquiries continued to come, and at last I suggested that perhaps it would be best to issue the book. Then Mr. Duneka had a happy idea, and said he would make that book volumeⒶtextual note XXIV of my Collected WorksⒶtextual note Ⓔexplanatory note, and sellⒶtextual note it only to persons orderingⒶtextual note a whole set, and in that way no mention of the book would get into print, and no harm would be done. Mr. Duneka has reiterated his promise to get out of the scrape in that way several times. Up to date he has not kept his word, and I have never suspected him of intending to keep it. As late as three months ago, one of these inquiry-lettersⒶtextual note came to me from England. I referred the writer to Harper and Brothers. They answered him, and promptly put the blame on me,Ⓐtextual note as usual.

Some time ago I wrote an unfriendly article about the Butcher,Ⓐtextual note King LeopoldⒶtextual note of Belgium, and offered it to Mr. Duneka. He accepted it, and thought he ought to publish it as soon as possibleⒺexplanatory note, because he had employed Mr. NevinsonⒶtextual note to make a tour through Portuguese AfricaⒶtextual note and exposeⒶtextual note the crueltiesⒶtextual note which the Portuguese were perpetrating upon the helpless blacks there, and my article would have an opportunity to precede Mr. Nevinson’sⒶtextual note exposures and break the road in front of him. But the article did not appear. It continued to fail to appear, and kept on failing to appear. Finally, Mr. Nevinson’sⒶtextual note first article appearedⒺexplanatory note, and the position was changed—Ⓐtextual notehe was breaking ground for me. I thought I knew what the trouble was. Mr. Duneka is a Roman Catholic, and anything like a criticism of that ChurchⒶtextual note, or of an individual connected with it, gives Mr. Duneka the dry gripes. Finally, I asked him when that article was going to appear. He explained that Mr. Nevinson’sⒶtextual note articles were ended now, and it would be very bad policy to follow them with my article,Ⓐtextual note because I would overshadow him and blot him out. This was very complimentary, but I was not fishing for compliments, and it was not altogether satisfactory. When Mr. Duneka needs a pretext for not doing a thing he is handy in finding one. When time and circumstances take the tuck out ofⒶtextual note that pretext, he is handy in finding a fresh oneⒶtextual note to take its place. I have noticed these ingenuities more than once, and have admired them. It was plain that Mr. Duneka was afraid of that article. He is interesting. He grows more and more interesting every day. He has inspirations which could enter no human head but his own. A short story called “A Horse’s Tale,”Ⓐtextual note which will begin in the August numberⒶtextual note of Harper’s Magazine Ⓐtextual note , has for its principal stage the bull ring in Spain. In the proof sheets Mr. Duneka suggested that we change Spain to Mexico, and have the performance there. The fact that the performance could not perform in MexicoⒶtextual note with any considerable effectⒶtextual note did not trouble Mr. Duneka. What he was shuddering about was that in the story the Spanish priests hurried through their sacred functions on Sundays in order to get to the bull ring in time to see the butcheries. The fact that this was merely a [begin page 146] fact and not an invention could not reconcile Mr. Duneka to its publication. I judge that that was the trouble with him; he did not explain what the trouble wasⒺexplanatory note. There could be nothing else in the story that could explain his attitude. I have half aⒶtextual note dozen novels half finished, and now and then as the years go by I add a chapter or two to one or another of them as the notion strikes me, and if I live forty years I shall finish several of theⒶtextual note six. Last summer, Mr. Duneka wanted to look at one of these stories, a story whose scene is laid in the Middle Ages, and in it he found a drunken and profane Catholic priest—a spectacleⒶtextual note which was as common in Europe four hundred years ago as Dunekas areⒶtextual note in hell to-day. Of course it made him shudder, and he wanted that priest reformed or left outⒺexplanatory note. Mr. Duneka seems to do four-fifths of the editing of everything that comes to Harper and Brothers for publication, and he certainlyⒶtextual note has a good literary instinct and judgmentⒶtextual note as long as his religion does not get into his way.

My experience has taught me that Mr. Duneka’s statements are not valuable, that his promises are not to be relied upon, and that he is very timid, even pathetically timid; but that he would set a trap for me, and try to cheat me out of a small sum of money is a new departure in his character. I never suspected him of any disposition to pick my pocket,Ⓐtextual note until now.

My contract with the Harpers of three years ago puts all my books permanently in their possession;Ⓐtextual note not only my old books, but also any new books which I may write. The old books areⒶtextual note listed in that contract, and among them appears “Mark Twain’s Library of Humor.”Ⓔexplanatory note The Harpers pay me one and the sameⒶtextual note royalty upon all thoseⒶtextual note old books (20 per cent). NowⒶtextual note if Harper and Brothers choose to renew the dress of anyⒶtextual note one of these old books and put it on the market, they do not have to ask me for permission; they canⒶtextual note do it without saying anything to me. They would only need to pay me the 20 per cent royalty. They could issue the old “Library of Humor”Ⓐtextual note without saying anything to me about it, though they would know when they did it that I would be very much obliged to them if they did nothing of the kind. I made up that book a good many years ago, at a time when I thought that such a book would be valuable and popular. I took the utmost pains with its preparation. I also paid out money in order that the work might be well done—five thousand dollarsⒶtextual note. I got two experts to help me, Mr. Howells and Charles Hopkins ClarkⒶtextual note, now editor of the Hartford Courant. Ⓐtextual note I bought all the humorousⒶtextual note books I could find. Mr. ClarkⒶtextual note read them carefully through, marking each article with a capital “A,” or “B,” or “C,” according to whether it was his first, second, or third choice. Then Mr. Howells went over the indicated articles, and marked his first and second choice. Then I went over them myself and made the final choice. A great deal of honest work was expended upon the book. It has lain out of print now for as manyⒶtextual note as seven years, and I have had no desire to see it dugⒶtextual note up and sent adrift again. Mr. Duneka said that he had heard that a “pirate”Ⓐtextual note out WestⒶtextual note was going to republishⒶtextual note the book,Ⓐtextual note on the plea that its abandonment for so many years had nullified the copyright. Therefore, he thought we ought to beat that game by “ostensibly” Ⓐtextual note republishingⒶtextual note the book ourselves,Ⓐtextual note in the interest of my reputation, and beat that “pirate.” He told me that we should only needⒶtextual note to set up that old book again (the plates were long ago destroyed), and issue it in some exceedingly [begin page 147] cheap form, and make a merely “ostensible” Ⓐtextual note publication of it (not a real publication),Ⓐtextual note put a few copies on sale, and this game would beat the “pirate.”Ⓐtextual note I said “Go ahead and do it,” for I was not aware that I was now dealing with a “pirate” close at home. I thought he proposed to make it a fifty-centⒶtextual note book in paper covers. I cannot swear that he said that, but I can swear that that was the impression which he gave me, and I know that he intended Ⓐtextual note to give me that impression. Then he said thatⒶtextual note as there was “noⒶtextual note money in the book for either of us”Ⓐtextual note (those are his words),Ⓐtextual note he would not be able to pay me much of a royalty. I said I was indifferent as to that—makeⒶtextual note the royalty what he pleased. He suggested 3 per cent. I wrote him and consented to thatⒺexplanatory note.Ⓐtextual note By and byⒶtextual note he sent me a paper to sign, and of course I signed it;Ⓐtextual note also, of course, I did just as I did with those ancient publishers:Ⓐtextual note read it without studying it;Ⓐtextual note that would inevitably happen, particularly with Mr. Duneka, whose honesty I had not doubted.Ⓐtextual note I made several contracts with Bliss after the fatal one, but I was always suspecting him then, and I examined thoseⒶtextual note contracts very carefully; but I don’t examine contracts carefully when I think I am dealing with aⒶtextual note man who is clean and honest. I shall be ready for Mr. Duneka next time.Ⓐtextual note This paper which I signed had one detail in it which I did not notice, and to which I would have attached no importance if I had noticed it. That detail privileges Mr. Duneka to add some new matter to that old book and “bringⒶtextual note it up to date.”Ⓐtextual note Ⓔexplanatory note If I had been suspecting Mr. Duneka,Ⓐtextual note that might have made me stop and think, and also wonder why you want Ⓐtextual note new matter in a book which is not really being published, but only “ostensibly” Ⓐtextual note published?Ⓐtextual note why you want Ⓐtextual note to bring a book “up to date”Ⓐtextual note when there is “no money in it for either of us”?Ⓐtextual note but, as I say, I never noticed that phrase, and if I had noticed it, I should have thought it was only one of Mr. Duneka’s heaven-sentⒶtextual note inspirations and had nothing in it.

About the end of last April, Mr. Duneka began to vomit “Libraries of Humor”Ⓐtextual note upon the public, and by and byⒶtextual note I noticed two things:Ⓐtextual note that these libraries were not Ⓐtextual note my old book, and that the price was not Ⓐtextual note cheap. Before I could rise to the size of the game Mr. Duneka was playing,Ⓐtextual note he had spewed out three of these volumes and was ready to spew another. I have never examined one of these books further than to read through the Table of Authors who had furnished the material. I saw that they were modernⒶtextual note authors. It may turn out that Mr. Duneka has put in one, or two, or three articles from the old book, but if this is true, it is neither according to the original agreement between him and me, nor in accordanceⒶtextual note with the paper which I signed. He has advertised the book largely, enthusiasticallyⒶtextual note, shoutingly. He has called it which it is not Ⓐtextual note. He has advertised me as being the “editor” Ⓐtextual note of it, whereas I had nothing to do with its construction, nor have I ever edited a line of itⒺexplanatory note.

When an author is wholly unknown,Ⓐtextual note his royalty is, as a rule, 10 per cent;Ⓐtextual note when he is better known it reaches 15 per cent;Ⓐtextual note and when he is widely known it is 20 per centⒺexplanatory note. IfⒶtextual note Mr. Duneka had published the old book as it stood, without speaking to me, our contract would oblige him to pay me 20 per cent;Ⓐtextual note but he shrewdly beguiled me into the notion that the book was not being really published Ⓐtextual note , that there was “noⒶtextual note money in it for his house or for me,”Ⓐtextual note and that therefore, in the circumstances, 3 per cent would be enough to pay me. I didn’t care whether he paid me any per cent or not,Ⓐtextual note I was not interested in [begin page 148] the matter; but if he had come to me and said that he proposed to get up a “Library of Humor”Ⓐtextual note himself, a new one, full of fresh matter, and that he would like to get me to put my name to it as the constructor and editor of it;Ⓐtextual note and that heⒶtextual note was going to advertise it largely, charge six dollarsⒶtextual note for it, (which is double the price of my old “Library”),Ⓐtextual note and sell as many sets as he could, would he venture toⒶtextual note ask me to accept 3 per cent royalty as pay forⒶtextual note my share of this contemptible crime, thisⒶtextual note bare-faced proposal to swindle the public with a book which was not mine in any sense?Ⓐtextual note It is unbelievable. If I try to imagine Macmillan, orⒶtextual note Scribner, or Doubleday,Ⓐtextual note or any other respectable publisher,Ⓐtextual note proposing to me to let himⒶtextual note put my name on a book which I did not make, and accept of 3 per cent royalty, or 10 per cent, or 20 per cent, or 100 per cent, I find myself unable to conceive of such a romance. None of these publishers would think of asking meⒶtextual note to assume the fatherhood of a book which IⒶtextual note was neither to prepare nor to edit, and accept eighteen cents as my reward out of a selling price of six dollarsⒶtextual note.

I have directed Mr. Duneka, through my legal counselⒺexplanatory note, to suppress that fraudulent book at once, and stop robbing the public under my name, and he has promised to do so. The situation is unthinkably grotesque.Ⓐtextual note The book has been out such a little while that the profit on it cannot have amounted to more than ten or twelve thousand dollars. Mr. Duneka would know that I would repudiate the book as soon as I recognized its character. He could hope to get nothing out of it but that ten or twelve thousand dollars, and he would then have to shelve it; and so, as I say, it is unthinkable that the manager of a millionaire concern like the Harper CorporationⒶtextual note would be willing to destroy the pleasant relations existing between the CorporationⒶtextual note and me for so small a sum as ten or twelve thousand dollars. It would seem that none but a fool would think of such an idea as that, and yet I may be mistaken—Ⓐtextual notepossibly it is wisdomⒶtextual note. In these days of big graft, and littleⒶtextual note graft, and universal graft, it is difficult to say what is wisdom and what isn’t. It is a marvelous spectacle, an incredible spectacle, this millionaire corporation filching pennies from its own child! It seems to me that this is reducing graft to its cheapest and meanest terms.Ⓐtextual note