Return from Bermuda—Mr. Clemens’s mistake in not recognizing the Chief Justice—Some characteristics of Earl Grey.
Miss Lyon and the Rogerses and I arrived back from Bermuda three days ago, after a delightful and health-restoring absence of seven weeksⒺexplanatory note.
I talked twice in that fairyland—once for the benefit of the Hospital and once for the benefit of the AquariumⒺexplanatory note. Upon the latter occasion I came near to making a regrettable blunder. The Opera House has no stage door, therefore I was brought down the central aisle and temporarily located in a chair in the front row, whence I was to mount to the stage by a short step-ladder when my time should come. I knew that my performance was to be preceded by a speech by the Chief JusticeⒺexplanatory note in the nature of a report of the condition and prospects of the Aquarium; I also knew that he would do his speaking not from the stage but from the floor of the house, bracing his back against the stage and facing the audience. At my right was an empty chair; at my left were four others; these four were swathed in British flags and were the places of honor; they were to be occupied by their ExcellenciesⒶtextual note Governor Wodehouse and wifeⒶtextual note and by their visiting ExcellenciesⒶtextual note, Countess GreyⒶtextual note and Earl Grey, Governor-General of CanadaⒺexplanatory note. From old experience in lecturing around the world in British colonies I knew that the official group would not arrive until after the rest of the house had assembled. After I had been seated a while the Chief Justice came in and sat down at my right. I had known him a year ago,Ⓐtextual note but did not remember him. He was cordial, and I pretended to know him. I supposed that he was Jones, or Smith, or Brown, and that I was trespassing upon a seat which belonged by rights to his wife, or some other friend, so I hastened to assure him that I was going to occupy the seat only temporarily. I was meaning that for an apology, and I fully expected him to assure me that it was all right, and that his friend could wait, but he embarrassed me by not saying anything at all; necessarily my fraudulent cordiality had made him suppose that I knew him, and knew what he was there for, and so he naturally couldn’t think of anything to say in answer to a remark which hadn’t any sense in it. I was uncomfortable, and tried to think of something to talk about that could modify the awkwardness of the situation, but nothing occurred to me. I waited and waited, and fished around in my mind for something happy to say, but I didn’t catch anything. At last the house was crammed; then after a brief pause and a waiting silence the orchestra struck up “God Save the King,” and the house rose. I knew by this sign that the dignitaries had entered the place. They came down to the front and shook hands and took their seats, and I turned to my unknown and apparently new acquaintance at my right and started to say heartily, “Now if the damned Chief Justice would arrive and do his stunt the show could proceed,” but Providence interfered and saved me—the first favor I have received from that source this year—for just as I had got out the first word of the remark his ExcellencyⒶtextual note the Governor, with a bow and a smile and a wave of the hand toward my new friend, said:
“Mr. Chief Justice, please take the floor.”
[begin page 213] I was paralysedⒶtextual note for a moment; then, as I came to, I felt as I had not felt before for sixty-five years—the time that the slave woman plucked me out of Bear CreekⒺexplanatory note by the hair of my head when I was going down for the third time.
Earl Grey is a winning and lovable man and a fineⒶtextual note and sterling character. He made the voyage back with us. He has lived a great deal upon the frontiers of the world and has been familiar with its rough life and its half-wildⒶtextual note cowboysⒶtextual note, gold-miners and ranchmen, and is unreservedly fond of those rude and manly men. He has no airs, and was ready to talk with anybody that came along; without effort he puts anybody and everybody at ease in a few moments—even young girls. One of my angel-fishesⒶtextual note was along—a diffident Boston schoolgirlⒶtextual note of sixteen yearsⒺexplanatory note—and for five minutes after he joined us where we sat on the after-deck, in the sunshine, she was timid, and couldn’t find her vocabulary; but after a little while she was at home, her self-consciousnessⒶtextual note disappeared, and she was eagerly and interestedly telling him a story which she had read,Ⓐtextual note and requiring him to admire its several ingenuities in turn as she came to them—which he cordially did.
He travels the Dominion in plain clothes and with no attendants except an aide-de-camp and a couple of uniformed mounted police; his friendly face wins his way for him everywhere. His aide-de-camp furnished me several instances of this;Ⓐtextual note one of them was to this effect: one day the little party rode up to a humble dwelling in the remotenesses of Canada, and a gray-headed Scotch-PresbyterianⒶtextual note mother in IsraelⒺexplanatory note came out with a greeting for the horsemen and laid her hand upon the Earl’s knee and looked sweetly up at his face and said:
“I see by the soldiersⒶtextual note that you are the Governor-General, yet I seem to be no more afraid to talk to you than I would to talk to Christ.”
Miss Lyon and the Rogerses and I arrived back from Bermuda . . . absence of seven weeks] Clemens’s party, which included Lyon, Rogers, Rogers’s valet, and one of his sons-in-law, William E. Benjamin, arrived in Bermuda on 24 February. Rogers’s wife, Emilie, joined them in mid-March. The entire group boarded the RMS Bermudian on 11 April for the return trip. For details see Hoffmann 2006, 102–26.
I talked twice in that fairyland . . . benefit of the Aquarium] Clemens appeared on behalf of the Cottage Hospital on 5 March in the ballroom of the Princess Hotel. As the master of ceremonies he introduced several other entertainers, then told his story of the three-dollar dog (recounted in full in the AD of 3 Oct 1907). According to Lyon, “He broke down into a hearty boyish laugh” when he reached the “point where the general asked if he would sell that dog.” The reviewer for the Bermuda Royal Gazette noted that it was impossible to describe Clemens’s “infinite variety of tone, the queer whimsical voice and the charm of the handsome white head and brilliant eyes” (Lyon 1908, entry for 5 Mar; “Entertainment at Princess Hotel in Aid of the Cottage Hospital,” Bermuda Royal Gazette, 7 Mar 1908, unknown page; see also Hoffmann 2006, 110–15). In his appeal for donations Clemens suggested that “the ladies may contribute their jewels and the gentlemen their letters of credit, or express checks, properly indorsed” (“Samuel Langhorne Clemens [1835–1910],” Bermuda Historical Quarterly 34 [Autumn 1977]: 54–59). The benefit for the Bermuda Biological Station and Aquarium, constructed on nearby Agar’s Island out of a former powder magazine used by the Royal Army, took place on 9 April at the Colonial Opera House. Clemens told three of his stock anecdotes: his theft of a green watermelon, which he returned for a ripe one; his shocking discovery of a corpse in his father’s office; and his disastrous attempt to ride a Mexican plug (from Roughing It, chapter 24) (“Lecture at the Colonial Opera House,” Bermuda Royal Gazette, 11 Apr 1908, unknown page; see also Hoffmann 2006, 123–25).
Chief Justice] Henry Cowper Gollan (1868–1949), chief justice of Bermuda from 1904 to 1911.
their Excellencies Governor Wodehouse and . . . Earl Grey, Governor-General of Canada] Josceline Heneage Wodehouse (1852–1930) was governor of Bermuda in 1907–8; he had married Mary Joyce Wilmot-Sitwell in 1901. Albert Henry George, fourth earl Grey (1851–1917), was the governor-general of Canada from 1904 to 1911. Although some of his pro-imperialist policies made him unpopular, especially in Quebec, he had a reputation for integrity and conscientiousness. He successfully promoted Canadian-American cooperation, and was responsible for the creation of numerous cultural and sporting events. He and his wife, the former Alice Holford, had been married since 1877 and had five children.
the time that the slave woman plucked me out of Bear Creek] Clemens describes this incident—and his other near drownings—in the Autobiographical Dictation of 9 March 1906 ( AutoMT1 , 401–2).
One of my angel-fishes was along—a diffident Boston schoolgirl of sixteen years] Dorothy Sturgis: see the Autobiographical Dictation of 17 April 1908, notes at 220.40 and 221.9–13.
mother in Israel] A virtuous and faithful woman; the term derives from the biblical prophetess Deborah, a wise judge and courageous leader (Judges 5:7).
Source document.
TS1 Typescript, leaves numbered 2474–78, made from Hobby’s notes and revised.TS1, as revised by Clemens, is the only authoritative source for this dictation.