Explanatory Notes
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Apparatus Notes
Headnotes
CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
[begin page 226]
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CHAPTER 20
 The Ogre’s Castle

Between six and nine we made ten miles, which was plenty for a horse carrying triple—man, woman, and armor; then we stopped for a long nooning, under some trees by a limpid brook.alteration in the MS

Right-so came by and byemendation a knight riding; andalteration in the MS as he drew near he made dolorous moan, and by the words of it I perceived that he was cursing and swearing; yet nevertheless was I glad of his coming, for that I saw he barerejected substantive a bulletin-board whereon in letters all of shiningtextual note gold was writ—

Use Peterson’s Prophylactic Tooth-Brush alteration in the MS All emendation the Go.”

I was glad of his coming, for even by this tokenalteration in the MS I knew him for knight of mine. It was Sir Madok de la Montaine, a burlyalteration in the MS great fellow whose chief distinction was that he had come within an ace of sending Sir Launcelot down over his horse-tail once. He was never long in a stranger’s presence without finding some pretext or other to let out that great fact. But there [begin page 227] was another fact of nearly the same size, which he never pushed upon anybody unasked, andalteration in the MS yet never withheld when asked: that was, that the reason he didn’t quite succeed was, that he was interrupted and sent down over horse-tail himself.alteration in the MS This innocent vast lubber did not see any particular difference between the two facts. I liked him, for he was earnest in his work, and very valuable. And he was so fine to look at, with his broad mailed shoulders, and the grand leonine set of his plumedalteration in the MS head, and his big shield with its quaint device of a gauntleted hand clutching a prophylactic tooth-brush, with motto, “ Try Noyoudont explanatory note.” This was a tooth-washemendation rejected substantive that I was introducing.

He was aweary, he said, and indeed he looked it; but he would not alight. He said healteration in the MS was after the stove-polish man; and with this he broke out cursing and swearing anew. The bulletin-boarder referred to was Sir Ossaise of Surluse, a brave knight, and of considerable celebrity on account of his having triedalteration in the MS conclusions in a tournament, once, with no less a Mogul than Sir Gaheris himself—although not successfully. Healteration in the MS was of a light and laughing disposition, and to him nothing in this world was serious. It was for this reason that I had chosen him to work up a stove-polish sentiment. There were no stoves yet, and so there could be nothing serious about stove-polish. All that the agent needed to do was to deftly, and by degrees, prepare the public for the great change, and have them established in predilections toward neatness against the time when the stove should appear upon the stage.

Sir Madok was very bitter, and brake outemendation alteration in the MS anew with cursings. He said he had cursed his soul to rags; and yet he would not get down from his horse, neither would he take any rest, or listen to any comfort, until he should have found Sir Ossaise and settled this account. It appeared, by what I could piece together of the unprofane fragments of his statement, that he had chanced upon Sir Ossaise at dawn of the morning, and been told that if he would make a short-cut across the fields and swamps and broken hills and glades, he could head off a company of travelers who would be rare customers for prophylactics and tooth-wash. With characteristic zeal Sir Madok had plunged away at oncealteration in the MS upon this quest, and after three hours of awful crosslotemendation riding had overhauled hisalteration in the MS game. And behold, it was the five patriarchs that had been released from the dungeons the evening before!alteration in the MS Poor old creatures, it was all of twenty years since any one of them [begin page 228] had known what it was to be equipped with any remaining snag or remnant of a tooth.

“Blank-blank-blank him,” said Sir Madok, “an I do not stove-polish him an I may find him, leave it to me; for never no knight that hight Ossaiseemendation or aught else may do me this disservice and abiderejected substantive on live, an I may find him, the which I have thereuntoalteration in the MS sworn a great oath this day.”

And with these words, and others, he lightly took his spear and gat him hencerejected substantive. In the middle of the afternoon we came upon one of those very patriarchs ourselves, in the edge of a poor village. He was basking in the love of relatives and friends whom he had notalteration in the MS seen for fifty years, and about him and caressing him were also descendants of his own body whom he had never seen at all till now; but to him these were all strangers, his memory was gone, his mind was stagnant. It seemed incredible that a man could outlast half a century shut up in a dark hole like a rat, but here were his old wife and some old comrades to testify to it. They could remember him as he was inalteration in the MS the freshness and strength of his young manhood, when he kissed his child, and delivered it to itsrejected substantive mother’s hands and went away into that long oblivion. The people at the castle could not tell within half a generation the length of time the man had been shut up there for his unrecorded and forgotten offence; but this old wife knew; and so did her old child, who stood there among her married sons and daughters trying to realize a father who had been to heralteration in the MS a name, a thought, a formless image, a tradition, all her life, and now was suddenly concretedrejected substantive into actualalteration in the MS flesh and blood and set before her face.

It was a curious situation; yet it is not on that account that I have made room for it here, but on account of a thing which seemed to me still more curious. To witemendation, that this dreadful matter brought from these down-trodden people no outburst of rage against their oppressors. They had been heritors and subjects of cruelty and outragealteration in the MS so long that nothing could have startled them but a kindness. Yes, here was a curious revelation indeed, of the depth to which thisalteration in the MS people had been sunk in slavery. Their entire being was reduced to a monotonous dead level of patience, resignation, dumb uncomplaining acceptance of whatever might befal them in this life. Their very imagination was dead. When youalteration in the MS can say that of a man, he has struck bottom, I reckon; there is no lower deep for him.

I rather wished I had gone some other road. This was not the sort of experience for a statesman to encounter who was planning out a [begin page 229] peaceful revolution in his mind. For it could not help bringing up the ungetaroundable fact that, all gentle cant and philosophising to the contrary notwithstanding, no people in thisrejected substantive world ever did achieve their freedom by goody-goodyalteration in the MS talk and moral suasion: it being immutable law that all revolutions that will succeed, must begin in blood, whatever may answeralteration in the MS afterward. If history teaches anything, it teaches that. What this folk needed, then, was a Reign of Terror and a guillotine, and I was the wrong man for them.

Two days later, toward noon, Sandy began to show signs of excitement and feverish expectancy. She said we were approaching the ogre’s castle. I was surprised into an uncomfortable shock. The object of our quest had gradually dropped out of my mind; this sudden resurrection of it made it seem quite a real and startling thing, for a moment, and roused up in me a smart interest. Sandy’s excitement increased every moment; and so did mine, for that sort of thing is catching. My heart got to thumping. You can’t reason with your heart; it has its own laws, and thumps about things which the intellect scorns. Presently, when Sandy slid from the horse, motioned me to stop, and went creeping stealthily, withalteration in the MS her head bent nearly to her knees, toward a row of bushes that bordered a declivity,alteration in the MS the thumpings grew stronger and quicker. And they kept it up while she was gaining her ambush and getting her glimpse over the declivity; and also while I was creeping to her side on my knees. Her eyes were burning, now, as she pointed with her finger, and said in a panting whisper—

“The castle! the castle! Lo,alteration in the MS where it looms!”

What a welcomealteration in the MS disappointment I experienced!alteration in the MS I said—

“Castle? It is nothing but a pig-styemendation; a pig-sty with a wattled fence around it.”

She looked surprisedalteration in the MS, and distressed. The animation faded out of her face; and during many moments she was lost in thought, and silent. Then—alteration in the MS

“It was not enchantedalteration in the MS aforetime,” she said, in a musing fashion, as if to herself. “And how strange is this marvel, and how awful—that to the one perception it is enchanted, and dight in a base and shameful aspect; yet to the perception of the other it is not enchanted, hath suffered no change, but stands fairrejected substantive textual note and stately still, girt with its moat and waving its banners in the blue airalteration in the MS from its towers. And God shield us, how it pricks the heart to see again these gracious captives, and the [begin page 230] sorrow deepened in their sweet faces! We have tarried long, and are to blame.”

I saw my cue. The castle was enchanted to me, not to her. It would be wasted time to try to arguealteration in the MS her out of her delusion, it couldn’t be done: I must just humor it. So I said—

“This is a common case—the enchanting of a thing to one eye and leaving it in its proper form to another. You have heard of it before, Sandy, though you haven’t happened to experience it. But no harm is done. In fact it is lucky the way it is. If these ladies were hogs to everybody and to themselves,alteration in the MS it would be necessary to break the enchantment, and that might be impossible if one failed to find out the particular process of the enchantment. And hazardous, too; for in attempting a disenchantment without the true key, you are liable to err, and turn your hogs into dogs, and the dogs into cats, the cats into rats, and so-onemendation, and end by reducing your materials to nothing, finally, or to an odorless gas which you can’t follow—which of course amounts to the same thing. But here, by good luck, no one’s eyes but mine are under the enchantment, and so it is of no consequence to dissolve it. These ladies remain ladies to you, and to themselves, and to everybody else; and at the same time they will suffer in no way from my delusion, for when I know thatalteration in the MS an ostensible hog is a lady, that is enough for me: I know how to treat her.”

“Thanks, oh sweet my lord, thou talkest like an angel. And I know that thou wilt deliver them, for that thou art minded to great deeds and art as strong a knight of your hands and as brave to will and to do, as any that is on live.”

“I will not leave a princess in the sty, Sandy. Are those three yonder that to my disordered eyesemendation are starveling swineherds—”

“The ogres? Are they changed also? It is most wonderful. Now am I fearful; for how canst thou strike with sure aim when five of their nine cubits of stature are to thee invisible? Ah, go warily, fair sir; this is a mightier emprise than I wend.”

“You be easy, Sandy. All I need to know is, how much of an ogre is invisible; then I know how to locate his vitals. Don’t you be afraid, I will make short work of these bunco-steerers. Stay where you are.”

I left Sandy kneelingalteration in the MS there, corpse-faced but plucky and hopeful, and rode down to the pig-sty, and struck up a trade with the swineherdsemendation. I won their gratitude by buying out all the hogs atalteration in the MS the lump [begin page 231]

sandy with royalty.
sum of sixteenalteration in the MS pennies, which was rather above latest quotations. I was just in time; for the Church, the lord of the manor, and the rest of the tax gatherers would have been along next day and swept off pretty much all the stock, leaving the swineherds very short of hogs and Sandy nearlyrejected substantive textual note alteration in the MS out of princesses. But now the tax people could be paid in cash, and there would be a stake left besides. One of the men had ten children; and he said that last year when a priest camealteration in the MS and of his ten pigs took the fattest oneemendation for tithes, the wife burst out upon him, and offered himalteration in the MS a child and said—

“Thou beast without bowels of mercy, why leave me my child, yet rob me of the wherewithal to feed it?”

How curious. The same thing had happened in the Wales of my dayexplanatory note, under this same oldalteration in the MS Establishedalteration in the MS Church, which was supposed by manyalteration in the MS to have changed its nature when it changed its disguiseemendation.

I sent the three men away, and then opened the sty-gate andalteration in the MS beckoned Sandy to come—which she did; and not leisurely, but with the rush of a prairie-fire. And whenalteration in the MS I saw her fling herself upon those [begin page 232] hogs, with tears of joy running down her cheeks,alteration in the MS and strain them to her heart, and kiss them, and caress them, and call them reverently by grand princely names, I was ashamed of her, ashamed of the human race.emendation alteration in the MS

We had to drive those hogs homealteration in the MS—ten miles; and no ladies were ever morealteration in the MS fickle-minded or contrary. They would stay in no road, no path; they broke out through the brush on all sides, and flowed away in all directions, over rocks, and hills, and the roughest places they could find. And they must not be struck, or roughly accosted; Sandy could not bear to see them treated in ways unbecoming their rank. The troublesomest old sow of the lot had to be called myemendation lady, and youremendation Highness, like the rest. It is annoying and difficult to scour

“we got the hogs home.”
[begin page 233] around afteralteration in the MS hogs, in armor.alteration in the MS Thereemendation was one small countessemendation, with an iron ring in her snout and hardly any hair on her back, that was the devil for perversity. She gave me a race of an hour, over all sorts of country, and then we were right where we had started from, having made not a rod of real progress. Iemendation seizedemendation her at last by the tailemendation, and brought her along, squealing. When I overtook Sandy, she was horrified, and said it was in the last degree indelicate to drag a countess by her train.emendation alteration in the MS

We got the hogs home just at dark—most of them. The Princessemendation Nerovens de Morganorealteration in the MS was missing, and two of her ladies in waiting: namely, Miss Angela Bohun, and the Demoisellealteration in the MS Elaine Courtemains, the former of these two being a young black sow with a white star in her forehead, and the latter a brown one with thin legs, and a slight limp in the forward shankalteration in the MS on the starboard side—a couple of the tryingest blistersalteration in the MS to drive, that I ever saw. Also among the missing were several mere baronesses—and I wanted them to stay missing; but no, all that sausage-meat hadalteration in the MS to be found; so, servants were sent out with torches to scour the woods and hills to that end.

Of course the whole drove was housed in the house, and great guns!—well, I never saw anything like it. Nor ever heard anything like it.alteration in the MS And never smelt anything like it. It was like an insurrection in a gasometer.

Editorial Emendations CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
  by and by (I-C)  ●  bye and bye (MS) 
  All  (A)  ●  all  (MS) 
  tooth-wash (A)  ●  tooth-  |  wash (MS) 
  brake out (A)  ●  brake ever out (MS) 
  crosslot (A)  ●  cross-  |  lot (MS) 
  Ossaise (A)  ●  Ossais (MS) 
  To wit (A)  ●  To-wit (MS) 
  but a pig-sty (A)  ●  but a pig-  |  sty (MS) 
  so-on (I-C)  ●  so on (MS) 
  eyes (A)  ●  eye (MS) 
  swineherds (I-C)  ●  swine-  |  herds (MS) 
  fattest one (A)  ●  fattest, (MS) 
  disguise (A)  ●  name (MS) 
  race. (A)  ●  race. Yes, yes, I was very much better than she,1 and had a right to despise her: for I was wise, and she a fool; I knew things, and she was ignorant; I was in my right mind, and she was as good as crazy.  |  In my time, in the United States, they used to arrange a tall mirror at the end of a room in such a way as to make it seem a door. A stranger, approaching it in a dulled light, would see another2 stranger coming straight toward him. He made many attempts to get by that stranger, but of course he couldn’t—the stranger always dodged to the same side that he did, and so was always in his way. Of course it was the stranger that was the fool, the idiot, the ass; oh, never himself—it couldn’t occur to him that he could ever be fool, idiot, ass. And then presently he would almost blush to find out that that fool, idiot, ass, was just a reflection of himself, after all—and was a most offensively exact one, too.  |  Yes, we are just as pitiful and shabby as we can be,3 we human beings, in some of our aspects; but it is seldom that we are confronted with the fact and forced to recognize it. All Beliefs that are not our Beliefs, are Superstitions; all Superstitions are Grotesque Absurdities. Why certainly—of course.4 It is a truism.  |  I despised Sandy for hugging the hogs, for it showed that she was the slave of a grotesque and absurd superstition that the apparent hogs were not hogs, but ladies. But I presently remembered that I had only recently sloughed off the Roman-Catholic-Presbyterian5 belief that a baby6 that dies without some ecclesiastical mummeries over it, is burned in hellfire forever and ever because of that omission. So Sandy was but the mirrored reflection of my very recent self, after all—and of course no longer despicable.  |  No, I was obliged to respect her now, and did. Her superstition was not a pleasant one, still it was a quite rational one, in fact a dazzlingly rational one—when compared with some others. I reckon we ought to make it a rule to honor each other’s superstitions. I mean, by charitable fiction of speech,7 of course. We never could do it in reality. (MS) 
  my (A)  ●  My (MS) 
  your (A)  ●  Your (MS) 
  armor. There (A)  ●  armor. Sometimes I had to dismount, and climb steep places on foot, and surround some wrong-headed old brute,1 and shout— |  “Sooy, sooy, you dam—your ladyship, I mean—this way, Your Highness, if you please”—and twice, members of the noblesse plunged between my legs and threw me down and hurt me; and once the Duchess de Mortaise carried me fifty yards a straddle2 of her back with my face to her3 tail. I was deeply disgruntled. It was a shame for a knight in armor, the chief officer of a kingdom; and could have injured me in the respect of the Round Table if a stranger had been there to see. There (MS) 
  countess (A)  ●  Countess (MS) 
  progress. I (A)  ●  progress. I was on foot, and I (MS) 
  seized (A)  ●  siezed (MS) 
  by the tail (A)  ●  not in  (MS) 
  train. (A)  ●  train. Now that shows how deeply perverted can be the imagination that is dominated by a superstition. I did not have the countess by her1 train, I had her by the tail. She had no train. And if I could have had my way, she would have had no tail, presently; I would have cut it off, close behind her ears.2  (MS) 
  Princess (I-C)  ●  princess (MS) 
Rejected Substantives CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
  bare (MS)  ●  bore (Pr,A,E) 
  tooth-wash (MS,A,E)  ●  tooth-brush (Pr) 
  abide (MS)  ●  bide (A,E) 
  hence (MS)  ●  thence (A,E) 
  its (MS,E)  ●  it’s (A) 
  concreted (MS,A)  ●  converted (E) 
  this (MS)  ●  the (A,E) 
  fair (MS)  ●  firm (A,E) 
  nearly (MS)  ●  not in  (A,E) 
Alterations in the Manuscript CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
 brook.] followed by canceled ‘Right-so I got my luncheon out of my helmet—’.
 riding; and] interlined above canceled ‘along, approaching; and’.
  Tooth-Brush] originallyTooth-Brushes’; ‘ES’ canceled.
 token] follows canceled ‘slight’.
 burly] ‘u’ written over ‘i’.
 and] interlined.
 over horse-tail himself.] originally ‘over his horse-tail himself.’; ‘own’ interlined and canceled following ‘his’; ‘his’ canceled; ‘himself.’ canceled, and a period added following ‘horse-tail’; the period canceled, and ‘himself.’ interlined.
 plumed] interlined.
 said he] interlined.
 tried] follows canceled ‘been’.
 He] originally ‘His’; ‘e’ written over wiped-out ‘is’.
 brake] originally ‘broke’; ‘a’ written over ‘o’.
 at once] interlined above canceled ‘immediately’.
 his] follows canceled ‘the’.
 before!] the exclamation point mended from a semicolon.
 thereunto] follows canceled ‘u’.
 not] written over wiped-out ‘never’.
 was in] followed by canceled ‘his’.
 to her] interlined.
 actual] follows canceled ‘visible’.
 been heritors . . . cruelty and outrage] originally ‘been familiar with cruelty and outrage’; ‘familiar with’ canceled, and ‘used to’ interlined preceding ‘cruelty’; ‘used to cruelty and’ canceled; ‘heritors . . . cruelty and’ interlined.
 this] originally ‘these’; ‘is’ written over wiped-out ‘ese’.
 you] written over ‘o’ or ‘a’.
 goody-goody . . . suasion:] interlined above canceled ‘any such means:’.
 answer] written over wiped-out ‘happen’.
 with] written over ‘and’.
 declivity,] followed by canceled ‘things’.
 Lo,] interlined above canceled ‘Look’.
 welcome] interlined above canceled ‘comfortable’.
 I experienced!] interlined above canceled ‘it was.’
 surprised] follows canceled ‘sorry for me’.
 The . . . Then—] interlined.
 enchanted] originally ‘enchantment’; ‘ed’ written over wiped-out ‘ment’.
 blue air] interlined above canceled ‘clouds’.
 argue] written over wiped-out ‘h’ or ‘b’.
 and to themselves,] interlined.
 know that] followed by canceled ‘when’.
 kneeling] followed by a canceled comma.
 hogs at] followed by canceled ‘som’.
 sixteen] interlined above canceled ‘ten’.
 nearly] written over wiped-out ‘about’.
 came] follows canceled ‘came’.
 and offered him] interlined above canceled ‘and held out’.
 this same old] interlined above canceled ‘an’.
 Established] originally ‘established’; ‘E’ written over ‘e’.
 by many] interlined above canceled ‘by some’.
 opened the sty-gate and] interlined.
 And when] interlined without a caret above canceled ‘What pitiful creatures we are, we poor shabby human beings, with our prides, and vanities, and self-laudings;’.
 with . . . cheeks,] interlined.
 

race.] followed by a passage which was revised in the MS then canceled in a later stage. See emendations for the text of the deleted passage, in which the position of each of the following revisions is indicated by a superior number.

1.   she,] followed by a canceled dash; the comma probably added.
2.   another] interlined above canceled ‘a’.
3.   be] written over wiped-out ‘g’.
4.   course.] followed by canceled ‘Any’.
5.   Roman-Catholic-Presbyterian] interlined.
6.   baby] written over wiped-out ‘child’.
7.   fiction of speech,] interlined above canceled ‘word of mouth,’.
 home] followed by a wiped-out semicolon.
 more] written over wiped-out ‘e’.
 scour around after] interlined above canceled ‘drive’; ‘chase’ and ‘drive’ written lightly in pencil below the line, then canceled.
 

armor.] followed by a passage which was revised in the MS then canceled in a later stage. See emendations for the text of the deleted passage, in which the position of each of the following revisions is indicated by a superior number.

1.   brute,] interlined above canceled ‘fool’.
2.   astraddle of her back] interlined.
3.   her] interlined above canceled ‘my’.
 

train.] followed by a passage which was revised in the MS then canceled in a later stage. See emendations for the text of the deleted passage in which the position of each of the following revisions is indicated by a superior number.

1.   her] written over wiped-out ‘the’.
2.   ears] written over what appears to be wiped-out ‘as’.
 Nerovens de Morganore] apparently added in a space originally left blank.
 the Demoiselle] written over wiped-out ‘Mademoiselle’.
 shank] interlined above canceled ‘one’.
 blisters] written above canceled ‘sows’.
 had] followed by canceled ‘got’.
 Nor ever heard anything like it.] interlined.
Textual Notes CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
 of shining] At the top of the manuscript page beginning here, Mark Twain wrote and canceled “Sir Madok de la Montaine, 222.” The number is the page number on which Sir Madok (Hank’s advertising knight) appears in the Globe edition of Morte Darthur.
 fair] The first American edition’s reading, “firm,” is just barely sensible in this context. It is probably a memorial error or the result of a hasty reading of copy coupled with the hypnotizing familiarity of the phrase “stand firm.”
 nearly] The adverb was omitted in the first American edition, but is required to accord with the qualifying phrases “pretty much all the stock” and “very short of hogs” earlier in the sentence. “Nearly,” at the end of a line in the manuscript, was inked so heavily that it almost looks like one of Mark Twain’s cancellations; the typist probably skipped over it.
Explanatory Notes CHAPTER 20 The Ogre’s Castle
  Try Noyoudont] The slogan is derived from advertisements for the popular mouthwash “Sozodont.”
 The same thing . . . Wales of my day] The Yankee is referring to the “tithe war” that began in 1886 when Welsh farmers, most of whom were members of dissenting churches, refused to obey the law requiring them to pay tithes to the Church of England. Clemens had read the anecdote of the farmer’s wife in October or November of that year and recounted it in his notebook ( N&J3 , pp. 265–266).