However, I made a dead set at him, and before the first third of the dinner was reached, I had him happy again. It was easy to do—in a country of ranks and castes. You see, in a country where they have ranks and castes, a man isn’t everⒶalteration in the MS a man, he is only part of a man; he can’t ever get his full growth. You prove your superiority over him in station, or rank, or fortune, and that’s the end of it—he knuckles down. You can’t insult him after that. No, I don’t mean quite that; of course you can insult him, I only mean it’s difficult; and so, unless you’ve got a lot of useless time on your hands, it doesn’t pay to try. I had the smith’s reverence, now, because I was apparently immensely prosperous and rich; I could have had his [begin page 369] adoration if I had had some little gimcrack title of nobility. And not only his, but any commoner’sⒶalteration in the MS in the land, though he were the mightiest production of all the ages, in intellect, worth,Ⓐalteration in the MS and character, and I bankruptⒶalteration in the MS in all three. This was to remain so, as long as England should exist in the earth. With the spirit of prophecy upon me, I could look into the future and see her erectⒶalteration in the MS statues and monuments to her unspeakable Georges and other royal and noble clothes-horsesⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation, and leave unhonored the creators of this world—after God—Gutenberg, Watt, Arkwright, Whitney, Morse,Ⓐalteration in the MS Stephenson, BellⒶemendation.
The king got his cargo aboard, and then, the talk not turning upon battle, conquest, or iron-clad duel, he dulled down to drowsiness, and went off to take a nap. Mrs. Marco cleared the table, placed the beer-keg handy, and went away to eat her dinner of leavings in humble privacy, and the rest of us soon drifted into matters near and dear to the hearts of our sort—business and wages, of course. At a first glance, things appeared to be exceedingⒶemendation prosperous in this little tributary kingdom—whose lord was King Bagdemagus—as compared with the state of things in my own region. They had the “protection” system in full force, here, whereas we were working along down towardⒶrejected substantive free tradeⒺexplanatory note, by easy stages, and were now about half way. Before long, Dowley and I were doing all the talking, the others hungrily listening. Dowley warmed to his work, snuffed an advantage in the air, and began to put questions which he considered pretty awkward ones for me, and they did have something of that look:
“In your country, brother, what is the wage of a master bailiff, master hind, carter, shepherd, swineherd?”
“Twenty-five milrays a day; that is to say, a quarter of a cent.”
The smith’s face beamed with joy. He said:
“With us they are allowedⒶalteration in the MS the double of it!Ⓐalteration in the MS And what may a mechanic get—carpenter, dauber, mason, painter, blacksmith, wheelwrightⒶemendation, and the like?”
“On the average, fifty milrays: half a cent a day.”
“Ho-hoⒶalteration in the MS! With us they are allowedⒶalteration in the MS a hundred! With us any good mechanic is allowedⒶalteration in the MS a cent a day! I count out the tailor, but not the others—they are all allowedⒶalteration in the MS a cent a day, and in driving times they getⒶalteration in the MS more—yes, up to a hundred and ten and even fifteen milrays a day. I’ve paid a hundred and fifteen myself, within the weekⒶalteration in the MS. ‘Rah for protection—to Sheol with free trade!”
[begin page 370]And his face shone upon the company like a sunburstⒶemendation. But I didn’t scare at allⒶemendation. I rigged up my pile-driver, and allowed myselfⒶalteration in the MS fifteen minutes to drive him into the earth—drive him all in—drive him in till not even the curveⒶalteration in the MS of his skull should show above ground. Here is the way I started in on him.Ⓐrejected substantive Ⓐemendation I asked:Ⓐalteration in the MS Ⓐalteration in the MS
“What do you pay a pound for salt?”
“A hundred milrays.”
“We pay 40. What do you pay for beef and mutton—when you buy it?” That was a neatⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation hit; it made the color come:
“It varieth somewhat, but not much; one may say 75 milrays the pound.”
“We sayⒶtextual note Ⓐrejected substantive 33. What do you pay for eggs?”
“Fifty milrays the dozen.”
“We pay 20. What do you pay for beer?”
“It costeth us 8½ milrays the pint.”
“We get it for 4; 25 bottles for a cent. What do you pay for wheat?”
“AtⒶalteration in the MS the rate of 900 milrays the bushel.”
“We pay 400. What do you pay for a man’s tow-linen suit?”
“Thirteen cents.”
“We pay 6. What do you pay for a stuffⒶalteration in the MS gown for the wife of the laborer or the mechanic?”
“We pay 8.4.0.”
“Well, observe the difference: you pay eight cents and four mills, we pay only four cents.”Ⓐalteration in the MS I prepared, now, to sock it toⒶalteration in the MS him. I said, “Look here, dear friend, what’s become of your high wages you were bragging so about, a few minutes ago?”—and I looked around on the company with placid satisfaction, for I had slipped up onⒶalteration in the MS him gradually and tied him hand and foot, you see,Ⓐalteration in the MS without his ever noticing that he was being tied at all. “What’s become of those noble high wages of yours?—I seem to have knocked the stuffing all out of them, it appearsⒶalteration in the MS to me.”
But if you will believe me, he merely looked surprised, that is all! he didn’t grasp the situation at all; didn’t know he had walked into a trap, didn’t discover that he was in a trap. I could have shot him, from sheer vexation. With cloudy eye and a struggling intellect, he fetched this out:
“Marry, I seem not to understand. It is proved that our wages be double thine; how then may it be that thou’st knocked therefrom the stuffing?Ⓐalteration in the MS—an I miscallⒶemendation Ⓐtextual note not the wonderly word, this being the first time under grace and providence of God it hathⒶalteration in the MS been granted me to hear it.”
Well, I was stunned; partly with thisⒶalteration in the MS unlooked-for stupidity on his part, and partly because his fellows so manifestly sided with him and were of his mind—if you might call it mind. My position was simple enough, plain enough; how could it ever be simplified more? However, I must try:
“Why look here, BrotherⒶemendation Dowley, don’t you see? Your wages are merelyⒶalteration in the MS higher than ours in name, not in fact.”
“Hear him! They are the double—ye have confessed it yourself.”
“Yes-yes, I don’t deny that at all. But that’s got nothing to do with it; [begin page 372] the amount of the wages in mere coins, with meaningless names attached to them to know them by, has got nothing to do with it. The thing is, how much can you buy with your wages?—that’s the idea.Ⓐalteration in the MS While it is true that with you a good mechanic is allowedⒶalteration in the MS about three dollars and a half a year, and with us onlyⒶalteration in the MS about a dollar and seventy-five—”
“There—ye’re confessing it again, ye’re confessing it again!”
“ConsoundⒶrejected substantive it, I’ve never denied it I tell youⒶalteration in the MS! What I say is this. With us, half a dollar buys moreⒶalteration in the MS than a dollar buys with you—and therefore it stands to reason and the commonest kind of common sense, that our wages are higher than yours.”
He looked dazed; and said, despairingly:
“Verily I cannot make it out. Ye’ve just said ours are the higher, and with the same breath ye take it back.”
“Oh, great Scott, isn’t it possible to get such a simple thing through your head? Now look here—let me illustrate. We pay four cents for a woman’s stuff gown, you pay 8.4.0., which is 4 mills more than double. What do you allow aⒶalteration in the MS laboring woman who works on a farm?”
“Two mills a day.”
“Very good; we allowⒶalteration in the MS but half as much; we pay her only a tenth of a cent a day; andⒶalteration in the MS—”
“Again ye’re conf—”
“Wait! Now, you see, the thing is very simple; this time you’ll understand it. For instance, it takes your woman 42Ⓐalteration in the MS days to earn her gown, at 2 mills a day—7 weeks’ work; but ours earns hersⒶalteration in the MS in 40 days—two days short of 7 weeks. Your woman has a gown, and her whole 7 weeks’ wages are gone; ours has a gown, and two days’ wages left, to buy something else with. There—now you understand it!”
[begin page 373]He looked—well he merely looked dubious, it’s the most I can say; so did the others. I waited—to let the thing work. Dowley spoke at last—and betrayed the fact thatⒶalteration in the MS he actuallyⒶalteration in the MS hadn’t gotten away from his rooted and grounded superstitions yet. He said, with a trifle of hesitancy:
“But—but—ye cannot fail to grant that two mills a day is better than one.”
Shucks!Ⓐalteration in the MS Well, of course I hated to give it up. So I chanced another flyer:
“Let us suppose a case. Suppose one of your journeymen goes out and buys the following articles:Ⓐalteration in the MS
1 pound of salt;
1 dozen eggs;
1 dozen pints of beer;
1 bushel of wheat;
1 tow-linen suit;
5 pounds of beef;
5 pounds of mutton.Ⓐtextual note
The lot will cost him 32 cents. It takes him 32 working days to earn the money—5 weeks and 2 days. Let him come to us and work 32 days at half Ⓐemendation the wages; he can buy all those things for a shade under 14½ cents; they will cost him a shade under 29 days’ work, and he will have about half a week’sⒶrejected substantive wages overⒶemendation. Carry it through the year: he would save nearly a week’s wages every two months, your man nothing; thus saving five or six weeks’ wages in a year, your man not a cent.Ⓐalteration in the MS Now I reckon you understand that ‘high wages’ and ‘low wages’ are phrases that don’t mean anything in the world until you find out which of them will buy the most!”
It was a crusher.
But alas, it didn’t crush.Ⓐalteration in the MS No, I had to give it up. What those people valued was high wages; it didn’t seem to be a matter of any consequence to them whether the high wages would buy anything or not. They stood for “protection,” and swore by it; which was reasonable enough, because interested parties had gulled them into the notion that it was protection which had created their high wages. I proved to them that in a quarter of a century their wages had advanced but 30 per centⒶemendation, while the cost of living had gone up 100; and that with us, in [begin page 374] a shorter time, wages had advanced 40 per centⒶemendation while the cost of living had gone steadily down. But it didn’t do any good. Nothing could unseat their strange beliefs.
Well, I was smarting under a sense of defeat. Undeserved defeat, but what of that? That didn’t soften the smart any. And to think of the circumstances! the first statesman of the age, the capablest man, the best informed manⒶalteration in the MS in the entire world, the loftiest uncrowned head that had moved through the clouds of any political firmament for centuries, sitting here apparently defeated in argument by an ignorantⒶalteration in the MS country blacksmith! And I could see that those others were sorry for me!—which made me blush till I could smell my whiskers scorching. Put yourself in my place; feel as mean as I did, as ashamed as I felt—wouldn’t you have struck below the belt, to get even? Yes,Ⓐalteration in the MS you would; it is simply human nature. Well, that isⒶalteration in the MS what I did. I amⒶemendation not trying to justify it; I’m only saying thatⒶemendation I was mad, and anybody would have done it.
Well, when I make up my mind to hit a man, I don’t plan out a love-tap; no, that isn’tⒶemendation my way; as long as I’m going to hit him at all, I’m going to hit him a lifterⒶemendation. And I don’t jump at him all of a sudden, and risk making a blundering half-way business of it; no, I get away off yonder to one side, and work up on him gradually, so that he never suspects that I’m going to hit him at all; and by and by, all in a flash, he’s flat of his back, and he can’t tell for the life of him how it all happened. That is the way I went for BrotherⒶemendation Dowley. I started to talking, lazy and comfortable, as if I was just talking to pass the time; and the oldest man in the world couldn’t have taken the bearings of my starting-placeⒶemendation and guessed where I was going to fetch up:
“Boys, there’s a good many curious things about law, and custom, and usage, and all that sort of thing, when you come to look at it; yes, and about the drift and progress of human opinion and movement, too. There are written laws—they perish; butⒶalteration in the MS there are alsoⒶalteration in the MS unwritten laws—they are eternal. Take the unwritten law of wages: it says they’ve got to advance, little by little, straight through the centuries. And notice how it works. We know what wages are now, here and there and yonder; we strike an average, and say that’s the wages of to-day. We know what the wages were a hundred years ago, and what they were two hundred years ago; that’s as far back as we can get, but it suffices to give us the law of progress, the measure and rate of the [begin page 375] periodical augmentation; andⒶemendation so, without a document to help us, we can come pretty close to determining what the wages were three and four and five hundred years ago. GoodⒶalteration in the MS, so far. Do we stop there? No. We stop looking backward; we face around and apply the law to the future. My friends, I can tell you what people’s wages are going to be at any date in the future you want to know, for hundreds and hundreds of years.”
“What, goodman, what!”
“Yes. In seven hundred years, wages will have risenⒶalteration in the MS to six times what they are now, here in your region,Ⓐalteration in the MS and farm hands will be allowedⒶalteration in the MS 3 cents a day, and mechanics 6.”
“I would I might die now, and live then!” interrupted Smug the wheelwrightⒶtextual note Ⓐemendation, with a fine avaricious glow in his eye.
“And that isn’t all; they’ll get their board besides—such as it is: it won’t bloat them. Two hundred and fifty years later—pay attention, now—a mechanic’s wages will be—mind you, this is law, not guesswork; a mechanic’s wages will then be twenty cents a day!”
There was a general gasp of awed astonishment. Dickon the masonⒶemendation murmured, with raised eyes and hands:
“More than three weeks’ pay for one day’s work!”
“Riches!—of a truth, yes, riches!” muttered Marco, his breath coming quick and short, with excitement.
“Wages will keep on rising, little by little, little by little, as steadily as a tree grows; and at the end of three hundred and forty years more there’ll be at least one country where the mechanic’s average wage will be two hundred cents a day!”
It knocked them absolutelyⒶalteration in the MS dumb! Not a man of them could get his breath for upwards of two minutes. Then the coal-burner said prayerfully:
“Might I but live to see it!”
“It is the income of an earl!” said Smug.Ⓐemendation
“An earl, say ye?” said Dowley; “ye could say more than that, and speak no lie; there’s no earl in the realm of Bagdemagus that hath an income like to that. Income of an earl—mf! it’s the income of an angel!”Ⓐalteration in the MS
“Now then, that is what is going to happen as regards wages. In that remote day, that man will earn, with one week’s work, that bill of goods which it takes you upwards of five weeksⒶtextual note to earn now.Ⓐalteration in the MS Some [begin page 376] other pretty surprising things are going to happen, too. Brother Dowley, who is it that determines, every springⒶalteration in the MS, what the particular wage of each kind of mechanic, laborer, and servant shall be for that year?”
“Sometimes the courts, sometimes the town council; but most of all, the magistrate. Ye may say, in general terms, it is the magistrate that fixes the wagesⒺexplanatory note.”
“Doesn’t ask anyⒶalteration in the MS of those poor devils to help him fix their wages for them, does he?”
“Hm! That were an idea! The master that’s to pay him the moneyⒶemendation is the one that’s rightly concerned in thatⒶemendation matter, ye will notice.”
“Yes—but I thoughtⒶemendation the other man might have some little trifle at stake in it, too; and even his wife and childrenⒶemendation, poor creatures.Ⓐalteration in the MS The masters are these: nobles, rich men, the prosperous generally. These few, who do no work, determine what pay the vast hive shall have, who do work. You see? they’re a ‘combine’—a trade union, to coin a new phrase—who band themselves together to force their lowly brother to take what they choose to give. Thirteen hundred years hence—so says the unwritten law—the ‘combine’ will be the otherⒶemendation way, and then how these fine people’s posterity will fume and fretⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation and grit their teeth over the insolent tyranny of trade unions! Yes, indeedⒶtextual note Ⓐemendation! the magistrate will tranquilly arrange the wages from now clear away down into the nineteenth century; and then all of a sudden the wage-earner will consider that a couple of thousandⒶemendation years or soⒶalteration in the MS is enough of this one-sidedⒶalteration in the MS sort of thing,Ⓐalteration in the MS and he will rise up and take a hand in fixing his wages himself. Ah, he will have a long and bitter account of wrong and humiliationⒶalteration in the MS to settle.”
“Do ye believe—”
[begin page 377]“That he actually will help to fix his own wages? Yes, indeed. And he will be strong and able, then.”
“Brave times, brave times, of a truth!” sneered the prosperous smithⒶalteration in the MS.
“OhⒶalteration in the MS—and there’s another detail. In that day, a master may hire a man for only just one day, or one week, or one month at a time, if he wants to.”
“What?”
“It’s true. Moreover, a magistrate won’t be able to force a man to work for a master a whole year on a stretch, whether the manⒶalteration in the MS wants to or not.”
“Will there be no law or sense in that day?”
“Both of themⒶemendation, Dowley. In that day a man will be his own property, not the property of magistrate and master. And he can leave town whenever he wants to, if the wages don’t suit him!—and they can’t put him in the pillory for it.”
“Perdition catch such an age!” shouted Dowley, in strongⒶemendation indignation. “An age of dogs, an age barren of reverence for superiors and respect for authority! The pillory—”
“Oh, wait,Ⓐemendation brother; say no good word for that institution.Ⓐalteration in the MS I think the pillory ought to be abolished.”
“A most strange idea.Ⓐalteration in the MS Why?”
“Well, I’ll tell you why. Is a man ever put in the pillory for a capital crime?”
“No.”
“Is it right to condemn a man to a slight punishment for a small offence and then kill him?”
There was no answer. I had scored my first point! For the first time, the smith wasn’t up and ready. The company noticed it. Good effect.
“YouⒶalteration in the MS don’t answer, brother. You wereⒶalteration in the MS about to glorify the pillory a while ago, and shed some pity on a future age that isn’t going to use it. I think the pillory ought to be abolished. What usually happens when a poor fellow is put in the pillory for some little offence that didn’t amount to anything in the world? The mob try to have some fun with himⒺexplanatory note, don’t they?”
“Yes.”
“They begin by clodding him; and they laugh themselves to pieces to see him try to dodge one clod, and get hit with another?”
“Yes.”
[begin page 378]“Then they throw dead cats at him, don’t they?”
“Yes.”
“Well, then, suppose he has a few personal enemies in that mob—and here and there a man or a woman with a secretⒶalteration in the MS grudge against him—and suppose, especially, that he is unpopular in the community, for his pride, or his prosperity, or one thing or another—stones and bricks take the place of clods and cats presently, don’t they?”
“There is no doubt of it.”
“As a rule he is crippled for life, isn’t he?—jaws broken, teeth smashed out?—or legs mutilated, gangrened, presently cut off?—or an eye knocked out, maybe both eyesⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation?”
“It is true, God knoweth it.”
“And if he is unpopular he canⒶalteration in the MS depend on dying, right there in the stocks, can’t he?”
“He surely can!Ⓐemendation One may not deny it.”
“I take it none of you are unpopular—by reason of pride, or insolence,Ⓐalteration in the MS or conspicuous prosperity, or any of those things that excite envy and malice among the base scum of a village?Ⓐalteration in the MS You wouldn’t think it much of a risk to take a chance in the stocks?”
Dowley winced, visibly. I judged he was hit. But he didn’t betray it by any spoken word. As for the others, they spoke out plainly, and with strong feeling.Ⓐalteration in the MS They said they had seen enough of the stocks to know what a man’s chance in them was, and they would never consent to enter them if they could compromise on a quick death by hanging.
“Well, to change the subject—for I think I’ve established my point that the stocks ought to be abolished—IⒶalteration in the MS think some of our laws are pretty unfair. For instance, if I do a thing which ought to deliverⒶalteration in the MS me to the stocks, and you know I did it and yet keep still and don’t report me, you will get the stocks if anybody informs on you.”
“Ah, but that would serve you but right,” said Dowley, “for you must inform. So saith the law.”
The others coincided.
“Well, all right, let it go, since you vote me down. But there’s one thing which certainly isn’t fair. The magistrate fixes a mechanic’s wage at 1 cent a day, for instance. The law says that if any master shall venture, evenⒶalteration in the MS under utmostⒶalteration in the MS press of business, to pay anything over that cent a day, even for a single day, he shall be both fined and pilloried for it; and whoever knows he did it and doesn’t inform, they alsoⒶalteration in the MS shall be fined and [begin page 379] pilloried. Now it seems to me unfair, Dowley,Ⓐalteration in the MS and a deadly peril to all of us, that because you thoughtlessly confessed, a while ago, that within a week you have paid a cent and fifteen mil—”
Oh, I tell you it was a smasherⒶemendation! YouⒶalteration in the MS ought to have seen them go to pieces, the whole gang. I had just slipped up on poor smiling and complacent Dowley so nice and easy and softly, that he never suspected anything was going to happen till the blowⒶalteration in the MS came crashing downⒶemendation and knocked him all to rags.
A fine effect. In fact as fine as any I ever produced, with so little time to work it up in. But I saw in a moment that I had overdone the thing a little. I was expecting to scare them, but I wasn’t expecting to scare them to death. They were mighty near it, though. You see they had been a whole lifetime learning to appreciate the pillory; and to have that thing staring them in the face, and every one of them distinctly at the mercy of me, a stranger, if I chose to go and report—well, it was awful, and they couldn’t seem to recover from the shock, they couldn’t seem to pull themselves together. Pale, shaky, dumb, pitiful? Why, they weren’t any better than so many dead men. It was veryⒶalteration in the MS uncomfortable. Of course I thought they would appeal to me to keep mum, and then we would shake hands, and take a drink all round, and laugh it off, and there an end. But no; you see I was an unknown person, among a cruelly oppressed and suspicious people, a people always accustomed to having advantage taken of their helplessness, and never expecting just or kindⒶemendation treatment from any but their own families and very closest intimates. Appeal to me Ⓐalteration in the MS to be gentle, to be fair, to be generous? Of course they wanted to, but they couldn’t dare.Ⓐalteration in the MS