Explanatory Notes
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Apparatus Notes
Headnotes
CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
[begin page 396]
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CHAPTER 35
 A Pitifulrejected substantive Incident

It’s a world of surprises. The king brooded; this was natural. What would he brood about, should you say? Why, about the prodigious nature of his fall, of course—from the loftiest place in the world to the lowest; from the most illustrious station in the world to the obscurest; from the grandest vocation among men to the basest. No,alteration in the MS I take my oath that the thing that graveled him most, to start with, was not this, but the price he had fetched! He couldn’t seem toalteration in the MS get over that seven dollars. Well, it stunned me so, when I first found it out, that I couldn’t believe it; it didn’t seem natural. But as soon as my mental sight cleared and I got a right focus on it, I saw I was mistaken. it was natural. For this reason: a king [begin page 397] is a mere artificiality, and so a king’s feelings, like the impulses of an automatic doll,alteration in the MS are mere artificialities; but as a man, he is a reality, and his feelings, as a man, are real, not phantasmsrejected substantive textual note. It shames the averagealteration in the MS man to be valued below his own estimate of his worth; and the king certainly wasn’t anything more than an average man, if he was up that high.

Confound him, he wearied me with arguments to show that in anything like a fair market he would have fetched twenty-five dollars, sure—a thing which was plainlyalteration in the MS nonsenseemendation, and full of the baldest conceit; I wasn’t worth it myself. But it was tender ground for me to argue on. In fact I had to simply shirk argument and do the diplomatic instead. I had to throw conscience aside,alteration in the MS and brazenly concede that he ought to have brought twenty-five dollars; whereas I was quite well aware that in all the ages, the world had never seen a king that was worth half the money, and during the next thirteen centuries wouldn’t see one that was worth the fourth of it. Yes, he tired me. If he began to talk about the crops; or about the recent weather; or about the condition of politics; or about dogs, or cats, or morals, or theology—no matter what—I sighed, for I knew what was coming: he was going to get out of it a palliation of that tiresome seven-dollar sale. Wherever we halted, where there was a crowd, he would give me a look which said, plainly: “If that thing could be tried over again, now, with this kind of folk, you would see a different result.” Well, when he was first sold, it secretly tickled me to see him go for seven dollars; but before he was done with his sweating and worrying I wished he had fetched a hundred. The thing never got a chance to die, for every day, at one place or another, possible purchasers looked us over, and as often as any other way, their comment on the king was something like this:

“Here’s a two-dollar-and-a-half chumpalteration in the MS with a thirty-dollar style. Pity but style was marketablerejected substantive.”

At last this sort of remark produced an evil result. Our owner was a practical person and he perceived that this defect must be mended if he hoped to find a purchaser for the king. So he went to work to take the style out of his sacred majesty. I could have given the manalteration in the MS some valuable advice but I didn’t; you mustn’t volunteer advice to a slave-driver unless you want to damage the cause you are arguing for. I had found it a sufficiently difficultalteration in the MS job to reduce the king’s style to a peas- [begin page 398] ant’s style, even whenalteration in the MS he was a willing and anxious pupil; now then, to undertake to reduce the king’s style to a slave’s style—and by force—go to! it was a stately contract.alteration in the MS Never mind the details—it will save me trouble to let you imagine them. I will only remark that at the end of a week there was plenty of evidence that lash and club and fist had done their work well; the king’s body was a sight to see—and to weep over; but his spirit?—why,alteration in the MS it wasn’temendation even fazedemendation textual note. Even that dull clodalteration in the MS of a slave-driver was able to see that there can be such a thing as a slave who will remain a man till he dies; whose bones you can break, but whose manhood you can’t. This man found that from his first effort down to his latest, he couldn’t ever come within reach of the king but the king was ready to plungealteration in the MS for him, and did it. So he gave up, at last, and left the king in possession of his style unimpaired. The fact is, the king was a good deal more than a king, he was a man; and when a man is a man, you can’t knock it out of him.

on the tramp.

Wealteration in the MS had a rough time for a month, tramping to and fro in the earth, and suffering. And what Englishmanalteration in the MS was the most interested in the slavery question by that time? His grace the king! Yes;alteration in the MS from being the most indifferent, he was become the most interested. He was become the bitterest hater of the institution I had ever heard talk. Andemendation so I ventured to ask once more a question which I had asked years before and had gotten such a sharpemendation answer that I had not thought it [begin page 399] prudent to meddleemendation in the matter further:emendation textual note Would he abolish slavery?

His answer was as sharp as before, but it was music this time; I shouldn’t ever wish to hear pleasanter, though the profanity was not good, being awkwardly put together, and with the crash-word almost in the middle instead of at the end, where of course it ought to have been.emendation

I was ready and willing to get free, now; I hadn’t wanted to get free any sooner. No, I cannotalteration in the MS quite say that. I had wanted to, but I had not been willing to take desperate chances, and had always dissuaded the king from them. But now—ah, it was a new atmosphere! Liberty would be worth any cost that might be put upon it, now. I set about a plan, and was straightway charmedemendation with it. It would require time, yes, and patience, too, a great deal of both. One could inventalteration in the MS quicker ways, and fullyemendation as sure ones; but none that would be asemendation picturesque as this, none that could be madeemendation so dramatic. And so I was notalteration in the MS going to give this one up. It might delay us months, but no matter, I would carry it out or break something.

Now and then we had an adventure. One night we were overtaken by a snow-storm while still a mile from the village we were making for. Almost instantly we were shut up as in a fog, the driving snow was so thick. You couldn’t see a thing, and we were soon lost. The slave-driver lashed us desperately, for he saw ruin before him, but his lashings only made matters worse, for they droveemendation us further from the road and from likelihood of succor. So we had to stop, at last, and slump down in the snow where we were. The storm continued until toward midnight, then ceased. By this time two of our feebler men and three of our women were dead, and others past moving and threatened with death. Our master was nearly beside himself. He stirred up the living, and made us stand, jump, slap ourselves, to restore our circulation, and he helped as well as he could with his whip.

Now came a diversion. We heard shrieks and yells, and soon a woman came running, and crying; and seeing our group, she flung herself into our midst and begged for protection. A mob of people came tearing after her, some with torches, and they said she was a witchexplanatory note who had caused several cows to die by a strange disease, and practicedemendation her arts by help of a devil in the form of a black cat. This poor woman had been stoned until she hardly looked human, she was so battered and bloody. The mob wanted to burn her.

[begin page 400]

Well, now, what do you suppose our master did? When we closed around this poor creature to shelter her, he saw his chance. He said, burn her here, or they shouldn’t have her at all. Imagine that! They were willing. They fastened her to a post; they brought wood and piled it about her; they applied the torch while she shrieked and pleaded and strained her two young daughters to her breast; and our brute, with a heart solely for business, lashed us into position about the stake and warmed us into life and commercial value by the same fire which took away the innocent life of that poor harmless mother. That was the sort of master we had. I took his alteration in the MS number.alteration in the MS That snow-storm cost him nine of his flock; and he was more brutal to us than ever, after that, for many days together, he was so enraged over his loss.alteration in the MS

slaves warming themselves.

We had adventures, all along. One day we ran into a procession.emendation And such a procession!emendation All the riff-raff of the kingdom seemed to be comprehended in it;alteration in the MS and allalteration in the MS drunk at that.alteration in the MS In the van was a cart with a coffin inalteration in the MS it, and on the coffin sat a comely young girl of about eigh- [begin page 401] teen , suckling a baby, which she squeezed to her breast in a passion of love every little while, and every little while wiped from its face the tears which her eyes rained downalteration in the MS upon it; and always the foolish little thing smiled up at her, happy and content, kneading her breast with its dimpled fat hand, which she patted and fondled right over her breaking heart.

Men and women, boys and girls, trotted along beside or after the cart, hooting, shouting profane and ribald remarks, singing snatches of foulalteration in the MS song, skipping, dancing—a very holiday of hellions, a sickening sight. We had struck a suburb of London, outside the walls, and this was a sample of one sort of London society. Our master secured a good place for us near the gallows.emendation alteration in the MS A priest was in attendance, and he helped the girl climb up, and said comforting words to her, and made the under-sheriff provide a stool for her. Then he stood there by her on the gallows, and for a moment looked down upon the mass of upturned faces at his feet, then out over the solid pavement of heads that stretched away on every side, occupyingemendation the vacanciesemendation far and near, and then began to tell the story of the case. And there was pity in his voice—alteration in the MShow seldom a sound that was in that ignorant and savage land!alteration in the MS I remember every detail of what he said, except the wordsalteration in the MS he said it in; and so I change it into my own words:

“Law is intended to metealteration in the MS out justice. Sometimes it fails. This cannot be helped. We can only grieve, and be resigned, and prayalteration in the MS for the soul of him who falls unfairly by the arm of the law, and that his fellows may be few. A law sends this poor young thing to death—and it is right. But anotheralteration in the MS law had placed her where she must commit her crime or starve, with her child—and before God that law is responsible for both her crime and her ignominious death!

A little while ago this young thing, this child of eighteen years, was as happy a wife and mother as any in England; and her lips were blithe with song, which is the native speech of glad and innocent hearts. Her young husbandalteration in the MS was as happy as she; for he was doing his whole duty, he worked early and late at his handicraft, his bread was honest bread well and fairly earned, he was prospering, he was furnishing shelter and sustenance to his family, he was adding his mite to the wealth of the nation. By consent of a treacherous law, instant destruction fell upon this holy home and swept it away! That young husband was waylaid and impressed, and sent to sea. The [begin page 402] wife knew nothing of it. She sought him everywhere, she moved the hardest hearts withalteration in the MS the supplications of her tears, the broken eloquence of her despair. Weeks dragged by, she watching, waiting, hoping, her mind going slowly to wreck under the burden of her misery. Little by little all her smallalteration in the MS possessions went for food. When she could no longer pay her rent, they turned her outalteration in the MS of doors. She begged, while she had strength; when she was starving, at last, and her milk failing, she stole a piece of linen clothalteration in the MS of the value of a fourth part of a cent, thinking to sell it and save her child. But she was seen, by the owner of the cloth. She was put in jail and brought to trial. The man testified to the facts. A plea was made for her, and her sorrowful story

“a sample of one sort of london society.”
was told in her behalf. She spoke, too, by permission, and said she did steal the cloth, but that her mind was so disordered of late, by trouble, that when she was overborne with hunger all acts, criminal or other, swam meaningless through her brain and she knew nothing rightly,textual note exceptemendation that she was so hungry! For a moment all were touched, and there was disposition to deal mercifully with her, seeing that she was so young and friendless, and her case so piteous, and the law that robbed her of her support to blame as being the first and only cause of her transgression; but the prosecuting officer replied that whereas these things were all true, and most pitiful as well, still there was much small theft in these days, and mistimed mercy herealteration in the MS would be a danger to property—Oh, my God, is there no property in ruined [begin page 403] homes, and orphaned babes, and broken hearts that Britishemendation law holds precious!—and so he must require sentence.

“When the judge put on his black cap, the owneremendation of the stolen linen rose trembling up, his lip quivering, his face as gray as ashes; and when the awful words came he cried out, ‘Oh, poor child, poor child, I did not know it was death!’ and fell as a tree falls. When they lifted him up, his reason was gone; before the sun was set, he had taken his own life. A kindly man; a man whose heart was right, at bottom; add his murder to this that is to be now done here; and charge them both where they belong—to the rulers andalteration in the MS the bitter laws of Britainemendation. The time is come, my child; let me pray over thee—not for alteration in the MS thee, dear abused poor heart and innocent, but for them that be guilty of thy ruin and death, who need it more.”explanatory note

After his prayer they put the noose around the young girl’s neck, and they had great trouble to adjust the knot under her ear, because she was devouring the baby all the time, wildly kissing it, and snatching it to her face and her breast, and drenching it with tears, and half moaning half shrieking all the while, and the baby crowing, and laughing, and kicking its feet with delight over what it took for romp and play. Even the hangmanemendation couldn’t stand it, but turned away.alteration in the MS When all was ready the priest gently pulled and tugged and forced the child out of the mother’s arms, and stepped quickly out of her reach; but she clasped her hands, and made a wild spring toward him, with a shriek; but the rope—and the under-sheriff—held her short. Then she went on her knees and stretched out her hands and cried:

“One more kissemendation—Oh, my God, one more, one more—it is the dying that begs it!”

She got it; she almost smothered the little thing. And when they got it away again, she cried out:

“Oh, my child,alteration in the MS my darling,alteration in the MS it will die!alteration in the MS It has no home, it has no father, no friend, no mother—”

“It has them all!” said that good priest. “All these will I be to it till I die.”

You should have seen her face then! Gratitude? Lord, what do you want with words to express that? Words are only painted fire; a look is the fire itself. She gave that look, and carried it away to the treasury of heaven, where all things that are divine belong.alteration in the MS

Editorial Emendations CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
  nonsense (A)  ●  absurd (MS) 
  wasn’t (A)  ●  was’nt (MS) 
  fazed (I-C)  ●  phased (MS) 
  talk. And (A)  ●  talk. He loathed the very name of it. And (MS) 
  sharp (A)  ●  perilously sharp (MS) 
  not . . . meddle (A)  ●  most diligently refrained from ever meddling (MS) 
  further: (I-C)  ●  since: (MS)  A reads “further.”
  His . . . been. I (A)  ●  “Abolish it? Art a fool? If it cost me the crown, yes!” He came as near taking my head off for asking it the second time as he had the first. But this time I didn’t mind. I (MS) 
  charmed (A)  ●  delighted (MS) 
  fully (A)  ●  just (MS) 
  be as (A)  ●  be so (MS) 
  made (A)  ●  not in  (MS) 
  they drove (A)  ●  they only drove (MS) 
  practiced (A)  ●  practised (MS) 
  We . . . into a procession. (A)  ●  The king’s soft spot was his large idea of the divine origin of monarchies—the “by the grace of God” notion of a king’s appointment. That pretty phrase had not been invented, then, but the jest1 it expresses was in the mouths of perfectly serious men in other forms. However, I imported it from later centuries, and familiarized the king with it, and petted it, and fondled it, and gilded it, and he presently took to it, and it came to be his darling. We grew to be Siamese twins on that superstition, as far as anybody would have been able to see. He liked to talk about his grand roll of sceptred ancestors, whom God had taken such pains to pick out and specially appoint, and look after. Yes, and he liked to talk about everything2 connected with them—their mistresses, among other matters. And so, little by little, and without knowing what he was doing, he gradually revealed the fact that his ancestors had really been mere lay figures, and that the real sovereignty and governorship of the kingdom had always been in the hands of those mistresses.  |  I saw it was time to prophecy, now. So I said:  |  “It is a wise provision that a king’s leman shall3 as a rule be the real sovereign and head of the nation. After long experience Europe will come to recognize this noble4 truth by and by—in the far ages that are to come. You see, in those distant ages, the minds of men are going to expand more and more, and their mental sight grow clearer and clearer; and so, age after age, things that seemed to be realities will be discovered to be nonrealities, and will be pushed from their pedestals and the genuine realities set up in their place. The process which will work this curious and righteous transposition will be called “cold logic.” Nothing can escape that cold logic. Every5 sentiment, every belief, every notion, every superstition, every moss-crusted apparent fact and long-unquestioned truth will be submitted to its grim test; and whatsoever thing cannot stand that test6 will have to step down and out, and be known forever thereafter as a sham and a humbug.  |  “And so, about the year nineteen hundred and twenty-five, as nearly as I can come at it, the dogma of the divine appointment of kings will at last come under the inspection of cold logic—with this result: that if the appointment of a king to govern a country is of so mighty importance that God will not trust it in any hands but his own, it is simply cold logic to conclude that whoso is to govern the king is a far more important officer than is the king himself, and therefore must be appointed by God, and will be. Wherefore, it will necessarily be concluded, and also believed, that every mistress who has ever governed a monarch, was distinctly and specially appointed to that responsible place by the Deity7 in person. Even a dolt8 can’t get away from that logic, you see; and a wise man will know better than to try.  |  “And so it will come to pass that in that remote day the government will put up a few dozen costly and majestic monuments, for the loyal worship of the nation;9 and some will bear the names of kings,10 others will bear the name of a king’s mistress—in which case the king’s11 own name will be absent—for it will be properly held that God appoints only the real head of the nation, not likewise the nominal and subordinate12 head. And so, some of the monuments will bear inscriptions like this:  |  “ ‘Nell Gwynne, Lady Castlemaine, Louise Querouaille, By the Grace of God Rulers of England, Anointed Heads of the English Nation, Mothers of the English Nobility. Let all that be Loyal pay Humble Homage to these gracious13 Names.’14  |  “Now if the idea meets with your grace’s approval, monuments of this sort can be instituted during the present reign for those honored and lamented ladies15 who in past centuries have wielded the sceptre of England with—”  |  We had run plump into a procession! (MS) 
  procession! (A)  ●  procession. (MS) 
  gallows. (A)  ●  gallows, for which kindness I could have poisoned him. (MS) 
  occupying (A)  ●  occuping (MS) 
  the vacancies (A)  ●  all vacancies (MS) 
  rightly, except (A)  ●  rightly, felt nothing rightly, except (MS) 
  British (A)  ●  English (MS) 
  the owner (A)  ●  that owner (MS) 
  Britain (A)  ●  England (MS) 
  hangman (A)  ●  hang-  |  man (MS) 
  kiss (A)  ●  kiss! (MS) 
Rejected Substantives CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
  pitiful  (A)  ●  heartrending  (Pr,E)  not in  (MS) 
  phantasms (MS)  ●  phantoms (Pr,A,E) 
  was marketable (MS,A,E)  ●  was not marketable (Pr) 
Alterations in the Manuscript CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
 No,] followed by ‘sir,’ canceled in pencil.
 seem to] interlined.
 like . . . doll,] interlined; the comma preceding probably added.
 the average] interlined above canceled ‘a’.
 plainly] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘perfectly’.
 aside,] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘to the dogs,’.
 chump] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘duffer’.
 man] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘fool’.
 difficult] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘tough’.
 when] followed by canceled ‘the’.
 contract.] followed by ‘and don’t you forget it.’ canceled in pencil; the period after ‘contract’ written over a comma.
 why,] followed by ‘lord bless you,’ canceled in pencil.
 dull clod] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘ass’.
 plunge] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘go’.
 We] originally ‘I tell you we’; ‘I tell you’ canceled and ‘W’ written over ‘w’ in pencil.
 what Englishman] interlined above canceled ‘who’; followed by ‘do you reckon’ canceled in pencil.
 Yes;] originally ‘Oh, yes;’; ‘Oh,’ canceled and ‘Y’ written over ‘y’ in pencil.
 cannot] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘can’t’.
 invent] follows canceled ‘d’.
 was not] originally ‘wasn’t’; ‘n’t’ canceled and ‘not’ interlined in pencil.
  his] ‘his’ underlined in pencil.
 number.] originally ‘number again.’; ‘again.’ canceled and the period added in pencil.
 

loss.] followed by a passage which was revised in the MS then canceled in a later stage. See emendations for the text of the deleted passage, in which the position of each of the following revisions is indicated by a superior number.

1.   jest] interlined in pencil to replace canceled ‘jest’ which was interlined in pencil above canceled ‘joke’.
2.   everything] followed by canceled ‘that’.
3.   shall] followed by canceled ‘be’.
4.   noble] followed by ‘and beautiful’ canceled in pencil.
5.   Every] followed by canceled ‘su’.
6.   test] written over ‘s’.
7.   the Deity] interlined in pencil following canceled ‘Almighty God’.
8.   dolt] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘fool’.
9.   nation;] originally ‘nations’; the ‘s’ canceled and the semicolon added.
10.   kings,] followed by canceled ‘while’.
11.   —in . . . king’s] interlined above canceled ‘but that king’s’.
12.   and subordinate] interlined.
13.   gracious] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘Holy’.
14.   Names.’] the single closing quotation mark mended from a double quotation mark.
15.   ladies] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘mistresses’.
 in it;] followed by ‘all the tag-rag and bobtail,’ canceled in pencil.
 all] interlined in pencil.
 drunk at that.] originally ‘drunk at’; ‘at’ canceled, and ‘and disorderly at that.’ added; ‘and . . . that.’ canceled; ‘at that.’ added.
 coffin in] follows canceled ‘cheap’.
 down] interlined.
 foul] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘obscene’.
 gallows.] the MS reads ‘gallows, for which kindness I could have poisoned him.’; ‘poisoned him.’ interlined in pencil above canceled ‘cut his throat.’; emended.
 voice—] followed by ‘good God,’ canceled in pencil.
 land!] the exclamation point mended from a period in pencil.
 words] follows canceled ‘la’.
 mete] ‘te’ written over wiped-out ‘et’.
 pray] followed by canceled ‘that’.
 But another] originally ‘Another’; ‘But’ interlined; the ‘A’ not reduced to ‘a’.
 husband] written over wiped-out ‘y’.
 with] follows canceled ‘with the eloquence of her tears’.
 small] interlined.
 out] followed by canceled ‘into the’.
 cloth] interlined.
 mistimed mercy here] interlined above canceled ‘it’.
 the rulers and] interlined.
  for] ‘for’ underlined in pencil.
 away.] followed by ‘I could have hugged him when I saw him do that.’ canceled in pencil.
 child,] followed by ‘my child,’ canceled in pencil.
 darling,] the comma replaces a canceled exclamation point.
 it will die!] written over wiped-out ‘it has no hom’.
 

belong.] followed by a passage which was revised in the MS then canceled in a later stage. See emendations for the text of the deleted passage, in which the position of each of the following revisions is indicated by a superior number.

1.   brooding . . . presence,] ‘brooding . . . which’ interlined on the recto and ‘had . . . presence,’ added on the verso of the MS page with instructions to turn over.
2.   multitudinous] interlined.
3.   Homer.] written over ‘h’.
4.   to come] interlined.
5.   single] interlined.
6.   pork,] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘entrails,’.
7.   George II] followed by canceled ‘and va’.
8.   is . . . seed.] interlined in pencil above canceled ‘just makes a body tired.’
Textual Notes CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
 phantasms] This word is written in such a way that it is easily misread as “phantoms,” the reading of the first American edition.
 fazed] See the textual note at 61.18.
 further:] The manuscript reads “since:”—but in the first American edition “further” is followed by a period. The manuscript colon has been restored on the supposition that either the compositor thought the cancellation of “since” covered the colon as well or that he or the typist substituted the period because the next word begins with a capital.
 rightly,] The elimination of the phrase “felt nothing rightly,” which follows in the manuscript, was probably Mark Twain’s revision. The woman speaks of her mind and her brain, but mentions no organ of feeling; more importantly, Mark Twain would not want to concede that her feelings were anything but appropriate to her condition. Nevertheless, the possibility that the typist dropped the phrase must be conceded, particularly since the first “rightly” is at the end of a line, which would make an eye skip easier.
Explanatory Notes CHAPTER 35 A Pitiful Incident
 they said she was a witch] In the manuscript (see the textual note at 264.35) and twice in his notebook (N&J3, pp. 503, 506), Mark Twain identified Lecky’s Eighteenth Century as his source for the witch burning. Lecky refers to “hundreds of wretched women having been burnt,” but there are marked dissimilarities between Hank’s tale and the case Lecky uses to exemplify witch hunting: the execution of Jane Corphar, a Scottish woman who was tortured into confessing herself a witch, then lynched by a mob (Eighteenth Century, 2:87–89).
 “A little . . . more.”] Mark Twain borrowed the story of the woman who was driven to steal a bit of cloth when her husband was impressed, and who was taken to be hanged with a child at her breast, from Lecky’s Eighteenth Century (3:582–583). He adapted the story of the plaintiff who dies of remorse after hearing the penalty from The Eighteenth Century (6:251) as well. On the same page he found a description of the procession from Newgate prison to the gallows at Tyburn, and drew on it to characterize the crowd that accompanies the condemned woman. He noted his source in the list he kept for his planned appendix ( N&J3 , pp. 504, 506).