1 or 8 July 1865
This sketch was probably published in the San Francisco Youths' Companion, either in the same issue as the previous sketch, “Advice for Good Little Boys” (no. 113), or in the issue of the week immediately following. It is clear that the two sketches are companion pieces for which the formula was identical: conventional advice for children's good behavior is subverted by a refined appreciation of those “peculiarly aggravating circumstances” that justify exceptions to the rules. Although the precise date and sequence remains in doubt, it seems likely that Clemens followed the conventional formulation “boys and girls” and published the present sketch simultaneously with, or later than, “Advice for Good Little Boys.” If the latter, it seems unlikely that he delayed longer than one week before completing the sequel, and we therefore conjecture a date of 1 or 8 July 1865, although it might easily have been somewhat earlier or later.
The first printing in the Youths' Companion is not extant. Our text is taken from the 1867 Jumping Frog book, which presumably reprinted it from a clipping supplied by Clemens. The text may, therefore, contain errors as well as revisions introduced either by the author or by his editor, Charles Henry Webb. Clemens revised the sketch and reprinted it in 1872 and 1874, but even though he considered including it in Sketches, New and Old (1875), it was not ultimately reprinted there.
Good little girls ought not to make mouths at their teachers for every trifling offense. This kind of retaliation should only be resorted to under peculiarly aggravatingⒶhistorical collation circumstances.
If you have nothing but a rag doll stuffed with saw-dust, while one of your more fortunate little playmates has a costly china one, you should treat her with a show of kindness, nevertheless. And you ought not to attempt to make a forcible swap with her unless your conscience would justify you in it, and you know you are able to do it.
You ought never to take your little brother's “chawing-gum” away from him by main force; it is better to rope him inⒶhistorical collation with the promise of the first two dollars and a half you find floating down the river on a grindstone. In the artless simplicityⒶhistorical collation natural to his time of life, he will regard it as a perfectly fair transaction. In all ages of the world this eminently plausibleⒶhistorical collation fiction has lured the obtuse infant to financial ruin and disaster.Ⓐhistorical collation
If at any time you find it necessary to correct your brother, do not correct him with mud—never on any account throw mud at him, because it will soil his clothes. It is better to scald him a little; for then you attain two desirable results—you secure his immediate attention to the lesson you are inculcating, and, at the same time, your hot water will have a tendency to remove impurities from his person—and possibly the skin also, in spots.
If your mother tells you to do a thing, it is wrong to reply that [begin page 245] you won't. It is better and more becoming to intimate that you will do as she bids you, and then afterward act quietly in the matter according to the dictates of your better judgment.
You should ever bear in mind that it is to your kind parents that you are indebted for your food and your nice bed and your beautiful clothes, and for the privilege of staying home from school when you let on that you are sick. Therefore you ought to respect their little prejudices and humor their little whims and put up with their little foibles, until they get to crowding you too much.
Good little girls should always show marked deference for the aged. You ought never to “sass” old people—Ⓐhistorical collationunless they “sass” you first.
Historical Collation
Texts collated:
JF1 Jumping Frog (New York: Webb, 1867), pp. 164–166. Probably reprints the San Francisco Youths' Companion, which is not extant.JF2 Jumping Frog (London: Routledge, 1867), pp. 155–157. Reprints JF1 without substantive error.
JF3 Jumping Frog (London: Hotten, 1870), pp. 131–132. Reprints JF2 with one error.
JF4 Jumping Frog (London: Routledge, 1870 and 1872), pp. 142–143. Reprints JF2 without error.
MTSk Mark Twain's Sketches (London: Routledge, 1872), pp. 321–322. Reprints JF4 with one revision by Mark Twain.
MTSkMT Copy of MTSk revised by Mark Twain, who made no changes in this sketch.
HWa Choice Humorous Works (London: Hotten, 1873), p. 382. Reprints MTSk without substantive error.
HWaMT Sheets of HWa revised by Mark Twain, who made four changes in this sketch.
HWb Choice Humorous Works (London: Chatto and Windus, 1874), pp. 377–378. Reprints HWa with authorial revisions from HWaMT.
HWbMT Copy of HWb revised by Mark Twain, who made one change in this sketch.
The first printing, probably in the San Francisco Youths' Companion for 1 or 8 July 1865, is not extant. The sketch survives in the earliest known reprinting in JF1, pp. 164–166, which is copy-text. Copies: 1867 impression (MTP Armes) and 1870 impression (University of North Carolina 817.C625.ce).
Reprintings and Revisions. This is the only sketch in JF1 for which no periodical printing has been found. It is possible, but unlikely, that Clemens wrote it for JF1, which would then constitute its first printing. It seems somewhat more likely that it was reprinted in JF1, either from the San Francisco Youths' Companion or from some unidentified reprinting. Because no earlier printing has been found, it is impossible to detect any revisions that Clemens may have made in his sketch in January or February 1867, while preparing the JF1 printer's copy.
The JF1 text was reprinted in a way that deviates slightly from the usual pattern as described in the textual introduction. As usual, Routledge reprinted JF1 in 1867 (JF2), and Hotten in turn reprinted JF2 in 1870 (JF3). Routledge also reprinted JF2 in 1870 (JF4a) and, using the unaltered plates of JF4a, reissued the book in 1872 (JF4b). None of these texts was revised by the author, and the compositors made only one substantive error: JF3 printed “aggravated” instead of “aggravating” (244.3). When Mark Twain prepared the printer's copy for MTSk in March or April 1872, he revised a copy of JF4a and evidently made one revision in this sketch: he changed “rope him in” to “beguile” (244.11).
One year later (1873), however, Hotten reprinted the sketch in HWa, taking his text not from JF3 (as he did for all but two sketches), but from MTSk. His compositors made no substantive errors, and they of course incorporated the one change that the author had made for MTSk. When Mark Twain revised HWa for Chatto and Windus in the fall of 1873 (HWaMT), he made four changes. He deleted “artless” (244.13), “eminently” (244.15), and “and disaster” (244.16). He also changed the dash after “people” (245.11) to a comma. All of the HWaMT changes were incorporated in HWb, published in 1874.
When in 1875 Mark Twain came to reprint the sketch in SkNO, he entered the title “Advice to Good Little Girls” as item 46 in the Doheny table of contents (see figure 23E in the textual introduction, volume 1, p. 628). He revised the sketch slightly in HWbMT, adding “him” after his earlier revision “beguile.” He did not revise it in MTSkMT, nor did he clearly indicate in the table of contents for that volume that it was elsewhere revised. Although Clemens obviously intended to have the sketch reprinted from HWbMT, the printers entered “321S” beside the item in the Doheny table of contents, indicating that they had found it on page 321 of MTSkMT. The sketch was not finally reprinted in SkNO: someone, possibly the author, has drawn a cross through it and the next two items in the Doheny table of contents. They were also omitted.
There are no emendations of the copy-text or textual notes. The diagram of transmission is given below.