§ 132. Fitz Smythe's Horse
16–18 January 1866
This sketch was one of two items extracted by the San Francisco Golden Era from the recent “S. F. Correspondence of the Territorial Enterprise” and reprinted on 21 January 1866 under the heading “Mark Twain.”1 The Enterprise printing is lost, but since the Era published weekly, and since it required about three days' travel time for the Enterprise to reach San Francisco, we have estimated that the sketch first appeared in that paper sometime between January 16 and 18, although a slightly earlier date is possible.
Albert Evans had served in the Mexican War and was a man generally disposed to favor policemen and soldiers, so long as they upheld the law and maintained order. He was tall and lean, sported a long pointed moustache and a heavy beard, and often rode his horse. In this sketch Clemens seized upon these characteristics, not in a direct attack, but using a strategy of indirection that would serve him well in the future. The innocent monologue of Clemens' little boy is at once a vernacular tall tale—the youngster noticeably warms to his subject—and an ingenious satire on Fitz Smythe, who is frankly portrayed by the boy as both stiffly ridiculous in his person and too tightfisted to feed his horse anything but old newspapers. The horse bears a family resemblance to many other personified animals in Clemens' work, including the horse Bunker (described in a January 1862 letter),2 and the horse who served him in the [begin page 344] Sandwich Islands (see “The Steed ‘Oahu,’ ” no. 188). The little boy himself, despite some uncertain touches by his creator, is a genuine forebear of Huckleberry Finn.
The satire in this sketch was sufficiently memorable to be reprinted, against Clemens' will, in Beadle's Dime Book of Fun No. 3 in 1866.3 And in April 1867 the editor of “The Lion's Mouth” column in the Californian publicly recalled reading it after Evans, no longer the local editor of the Alta California, had written that paper from Arizona that his “bay mare, which [he] brought from San Francisco, and always prized so highly,” had been stolen by Indians. Harking back to “ ‘Mark Twain's’ amusing and truthful description of the habits of Fitz-Smythe's horse,” the editor said that Clemens had “made public many interesting particulars concerning the bay mare, which may explain why she left Fitz-Smythe. We do not believe that she was stolen; she strayed away in search of food. The horse—or mare—was, during the period of Fitz-Smythe's residence in this city, fed entirely on newspapers—so Mark Twain says—and used to devour on an average five hundred old exchanges a day.” According to this facetious reporter, the mare had obviously wandered off in search of a newspaper office.4
Yesterday, as I was coming along through a back alley, I glanced over a fence, and there was Fitz Smythe's horse. I can easily understand, now, why that horse always looksⒶemendation so dejected andⒶemendation indifferent to the things of this world. They feed him on old newspapers. I had often seen Smythe carrying “dead loads” of old exchangesⒶemendation up town, but I never suspected that they were to be put to such a use as this. A boy came up while I stood there, and said, “That hoss belongs to Mr. Fitz Smythe, and the old man —that's my father, you know—the old man's going to kill him.Ⓐemendation”
“Who, Fitz Smythe?”
“No, the hoss—because he etⒶemendation up a litter of pups that the old man wouldn't a taken forty dol—”
“Who, Fitz Smythe?”
“No, the hoss—and he eats fences and everything—took our gateⒶemendation off and carried it home and et up every dam splinter of it;Ⓐemendation you wait till he gets done with them old Altas and Bulletins Ⓐemendation he's a chawin'Ⓐemendation on now, and you'll see him branch out and tackle a-n-y-thingⒶemendation he can shet his mouth on. Why, he nipped a little boy,Ⓐemendation Sunday, which was going home from Sunday school; well, the boy got loose, you know, but that old hoss got his bibleⒶemendation and some tracts, and them's as good a thing as he Ⓐemendation wants, being so used to papers, you see. You put anythingⒶemendation to eat anywheres, and that old hoss'll shin out and get it—and he'll eat anything he can bite, and he don't care a dam. He'd climb a tree, he would, if you was to put [begin page 346] anything up there for him—cats, for instance—he likes cats—he's et up every cat there was here in four blocks—he'll take more chances—why,Ⓐemendation he'll bust in anywheres for one of them fellers; I see him snake a old tom catⒶemendation out of that thereⒶemendation flower-pot over yonder,Ⓐemendation where she was a sunningⒶemendation of herself, and take her down, and she a hanging on and a grabblingⒶemendation for a holt on something, and you could hear her yowl and kick up and tear aroundⒶemendation after she was inside of him. You see Mr. Fitz Smythe don't give him nothing to eat but them old newspapers and sometimes a basket of shavings, and so you know,Ⓐemendation he's got to prospect or starve, and a hoss ain't going to starve, it ain't likely,Ⓐemendation on account of notⒶemendation wanting to be rough on cats and sich things. Not that hoss, anyway, you bet you. Because he don't care a dam. You turn him loose once on this town, and don't you know he'd eat up m-o-r-e goods-boxes, and fences, and clothing-store things, and animals, and allⒶemendation them kind of valuables? Oh, you betⒶemendation he would. Because that's his style, you know, and he don't care a dam. But you ought to see Mr. Fitz Smythe ride him around, prospecting for them items—you ought to see him with his soldier coat on, and his mustashers sticking out strong like a cat-fish's horns, and them long laigs of his'n standing out so, like them two prongs they prop up a step-ladder with, and a joltingⒶemendation down street at four mile a week—oh, what a guy!—sets up stiff like a close pinⒶemendation, you know, and thinks heⒶemendation looks like old General MacdowlⒶemendation Ⓔexplanatory note. But the old man's a goingⒶemendation to hornisswoggleⒶemendation that hoss on account of his goblinⒶemendation up them pups. Oh, you bet your life the old man's down Ⓐemendation on him. Yes, sir, coming!”Ⓐemendation and the entertaining boy departed to see what the “old man” was calling him for. But I am glad that IⒶemendation met the boy, and I am glad I saw the horse taking his literary breakfast, because I know nowⒶemendation why the animal looks so discouraged when I see Fitz Smythe rambling down Montgomery street on him—he has altogether too rough a time getting a living to be cheerful and frivolousⒶemendation or anywaysⒶemendation frisky.
The first printing in the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise, probably sometime between 16 and 18 January 1866, is not extant. The sketch survives in two contemporary reprintings of the Enterprise:
P1 “Fitz Smythe's Horse,” San Francisco Golden Era 14 (21 January 1866): 5.P2 “Mark Twain on Fitz Smythe's Horse,” Beadle's Dime Book of Fun No. 3 (New York: Beadle and Company, [1866]), pp. 75–77.
Copies: PH from Bancroft (P1); PH from Yale (P2). The sketch is a radiating text: there is no copy-text. All variants are recorded in a list of emendations and adopted readings, which also records any readings unique to the present edition, identified as I-C.
The independence of P1 is guaranteed by its date of publication: P2 was not advertised for sale until late in April 1866 ( BAL , 3309). P2 cannot derive from P1 because it contains one superior reading that it seems unlikely a compositor would supply: “thinks he” instead of P1 “think she” (346.24). P2 does, however, make a number of errors, so that when variants are wholly indifferent we have preferred P1. It is possible that P2 derives from an unidentified reprinting of the lost Enterprise instead of the Enterprise itself: this would account for its high incidence error. But even though P2 may stand at somewhat greater remove from the first printing, we have conjectured that both P1 and P2 derive independently from it, and each may therefore preserve authorial readings among its variants.
There are no textual notes. The diagram of transmission is as follows: