27 September 1863
The main body of this sketch—Mark Twain's letter headed “All about the Fashions”—is a double-barreled burlesque ridiculing society columns in general and reviews of current fashions in particular. It was written on 19 June 1863 while Mark Twain was still in San Francisco, and it was probably first published sometime between June 21 and 24 in the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise.1 Three months later, when Clemens returned to San Francisco, he republished it in the Golden Era in the form presented here. The author evidently made no revisions in the text of his letter, but he did supply a prefatory note from “A Lady at the Lick House” (manifestly by Mark Twain himself) that purported to explain why his description of the toilettes at a June ball at the Lick House was appearing in the September Era. The Enterprise sketch thus belongs to late June and would ordinarily have appeared in this collection following “Letter from Mark Twain” (no. 53), also written from San Francisco. But since the author revised the piece by adding the preface (if not by changing his words), it has seemed best to place it according to the date of its republication in the Era. The whole item was headed “Mark Twain—More of Him,” the title adopted here.
It seems likely that the editors of the Era wanted to capitalize on Mark Twain's rising popularity and on the widespread interest in San Francisco's unusually active social season. Mark Twain's “How to Cure a Cold” (no. 63) had appeared there one week before and made a hit. “The Lick House Ball” (no. 65), a second and more elaborate burlesque of the fashionable world, appeared in the same issue that carried “Mark Twain—More of Him.” Presumably the editors felt that their readers would not be jaded by an [begin page 305] extra helping of Mark Twain's mock society columns and his burlesque of the recherché vocabulary promoted by the fashion industry.
The Lick House was at this time Clemens' preferred San Francisco hotel, and it was a favorite site for the periodic “re-unions” mentioned by the “Lady at the Lick House.” This year the fall social season had begun with a “fête” given by the Hungarian Baron Castro d'Estrala at the new Clarendon Hotel on September 3. This was followed by an even more lavish event, the talk of the town for weeks, William E. Barron's ball on September 17 at his Stockton Street “palace.” Then on September 24, three days before the present sketch appeared, the Lick House gave a second ball. By that time the ladies were already planning for the following month's Spanish Ball, honoring Admiral Pinzon of the Spanish Squadron of the Pacific. And in mid-November Admiral Popoff and the officers of the Russian Pacific Fleet would provide the occasion for a great Russian Ball, which received ecstatic notices in the press.2
Mark Twain's description of the ladies' June toilettes bears a relation to reality about like that of his description of the massacre near Dutch Nick's (see “A Bloody Massacre near Carson,” no. 66). Just as his massacre hoax caught the breathless tell-it-all quality of the latest “sensation” item, so the present sketch mimics the tritely effusive descriptions that were standard fare with society reporters. For example, in describing Barron's ball one week before, “Sarah Smith” wrote in the Era: “The toilette of the beautiful and distingue Mrs. H——, of corn-colored tulle puffed over silk of the same color, and adorned with groseille flowers with silver leaves, was a miracle of good taste and elegance.”3 And on September 27, also in the Era, “Peregrine” wrote: “Mrs. Hon. F. F. L— wore a dark pink silk beautifully and tastefully trimmed with black lace; the arrangement of her hair was faultless, and the ornaments neat and apropos. She was beautiful and captivating—the ‘fairest of the fair.’ ”4 Part of Clemens' satirical point, here and in “The Lick House Ball,” was to demonstrate that male reporters lacked an aptitude for describing or appreciating feminine fashions—an observation that may be a clue to the sex of Sarah Smith and Peregrine.
The current bible of the fashion industry was Madame Demorest's Quarterly Mirror of Fashions and Journal du Grand Monde, issued from the Emporium of Fashion in New York City. The fall 1863 number was [begin page 306] embellished (typically) with a steel engraving of the Empress Eugénie and her maids of honor, several steel fashion plates, and five full-size patterns. Although this journal was distributed in the West, San Francisco had several fashion magazines of its own. The California Magazine and Mountaineer (mentioned by the “Lady at the Lick House”) specialized in “splendidly executed and high colored Fashion Plates . . . direct from the fashionable headquarters of the world, Paris,”5 and like the Era, it regularly reviewed the outstanding social events and reported the ladies' toilettes. San Francisco's Hesperian also published dress patterns, accompanied by full-page illustrations and descriptions as well as by reviews of the latest styles. For instance, one of Hesperian's editors, Mrs. F. H. Day, knew the fashion jargon, like many of her colleagues, down to the last gimp and bugle. In a “Summary of Fashion Direct from Paris,” published in January 1863, she wrote:
The foulards of plain colors seem this season to be preferred; cream color, Solferino, strawberry, violet, etc. The Pekins are of maroon and black. . . . For gauze de Chambery, flounces and bands put on alternately, are used, the bands having ruches, the body square with cannezous. White muslins are made with very wide insertions of colored ribbon. . . . The camails, or round cloaks, are ornamented with gimps. One of white cachemire was with bands of guipure, and macarons of black gimp, terminating with chenille fringe; others are with bugles and chenille. But the burnous and the saute-en-barque are almost the only outdoor toilette worn at this moment.6
Mark Twain had an excellent ear for this imposing vocabulary and managed to make it even more outlandish, superbly reproducing its tendency to degenerate (at least for the average male reader) into a meaningless mush. The comic effect he achieves with his own rendition of the jargon is only occasionally heightened by knowing how completely he has misused it: the explanatory notes accordingly confine themselves to identifying a mere handful of such terms, even though one might easily be more exhaustive.
While Mark Twain's main target in this sketch remains the society column and fashion review, his account of his own “appearance” at the party belongs to the role he played vis-à-vis the Unreliable. When Clemens attended the First Annual Fair of the Washoe Agricultural, Mining and Mechanical Society, which was climaxed with a ball, the Virginia City Union gave an account of his costume. The Union reporter, in all likelihood Clement T. Rice, wrote in the “Gentlemen's Department”: “S. C—, we did not catch the full name—was present, and the Misses declared [begin page 307] (quotation) he did look sweet. His costume consisted chiefly of an exquisitely tinted vest of the age of Louis XIV. His hair was entirely without ornament, and his finger nails were clean and well trimmed, making an unusual effect in an assemblage where everything depends upon contrasts.”7
“A Lady at the Lick House Ⓔexplanatory note” Writes:
“Edrs. Golden Era—We are all delighted with the ‘Letter,’ describing the brilliant Ball at Mr. Barron'sⒺexplanatory note. I am a Washoe widowⒺexplanatory note, was among the favored few, and went. Sarah Smith skipped me in the toilettesⒺexplanatory note. I suppose I wasn't very stunning, although Brigham & Co. said I looked ‘swell,’Ⓔexplanatory note Ⓐemendation and that ‘ RoberghⒶtextual note Ⓐemendation’Ⓔexplanatory note couldn't get up anything better. Some months ago, when my spouse, now at Reese RiverⒺexplanatory note, first brought me down from Virginia City to stop in San Francisco, I arrived in the nick of time to attend one of those charming re-unionsⒶemendation which are all the rage in the Pacific Metropolis. We have had several soirees since that, but nobody gave any account of them to the papers. It's too bad. Now we are eagerly looking forward to the next soiree, expecting the Golden Era to tell all about it. One of our boarders says she knows Florence FaneⒺexplanatory note, and means to invite her; but I can't for the life of me get her to tell me the real name of your charming feuilletonist. I hope she'll come. And may-be Mark Twain will stay in town, to be there too. There is some talk of getting up a special gathering in compliment to himⒺexplanatory note. He's such a favorite—stops here for his health—hoping to find out how to cure a cold. I am going to wear a new dress, made precisely after the pattern of one of those sweet Paris Fashion Plates in the California Magazine. That Ball Dress in the May number—I think it was—I've kept it in my boudoir ever since. Then if Mark Twain is only there to see; how happy, how happy, I shall be. (I don't mean that for poetry—Like what you put in the Golden Era.) (To take that license I am free—I write with such facility.) But I have not told you what I wanted. Mark Twain was at our party, last June, and sent the Territorial Enterprise an account of the affair. My husband enclosed me the paper in which it appeared. I cut it out and you can copy it. Please do. I've been bothered to death to let everybody see it, and it's dreadfully tattered and torn.”
Here it is!Ⓐhistorical collation
LETTER FROM MARK TWAIN.
all about the fashions Ⓐhistorical collation Ⓐemendation Ⓐtextual note.
San Francisco Ⓐemendation, June 19.
Eds. Enterprise:—I have just received, per Wells-Fargo, the following sweet scented little note, written in a microscopic hand in the center of a delicate sheet of paper—like a wedding invitation or a funeral notice—and I feel it my duty to answer it:
“Virginia, June 16.
“Mr. Mark Twain:—Do tell us something about the fashions. I am dying to know what the ladies of San Francisco are wearing. Do, now, tell us all you know about it, won't you? Pray excuse brevity, for I am in such a hurry.
Bettie.
“P. S.—Please burn this as soon as you have read it.”
“Do tell us”—and she is in “such a hurry.” Well, I never knew a girl in my life who could write three consecutive sentences without italicising a word. They can't do it, you know. Now, if I had a wife, and she—however, I don't think I shall have one this week, and it is hardly worth while to borrow trouble.
Bettie, my love, you do me proud. In thus requesting me to fix up the fashions for you in an intelligent manner, you pay a compliment to my critical and observant eye and my varied and extensive information, which a mind less perfectly balanced than mine could scarcely contemplate without excess of vanity. Will I tell you something about the fashions? I will, Bettie—you better bet you bet, Betsey, my darling. I learned thoseⒶhistorical collation expressions from the Unreliable; like all the phrases which fall from his lips, they are frightfully vulgar—but then they sound rather musical than otherwise.
[begin page 310]A happy circumstanceⒶemendation has put it in my power to furnish you the fashions from headquartersⒶemendation—as it were, Bettie: I refer to the assemblage of fashion, elegance and loveliness called together in the parlor of the Lick House last night—[a party given by the proprietors on the occasion of my paying up that little balance due on my board bill.] I will give a brief and lucid description of the dresses worn by several of the ladies of my acquaintance who were present. Mrs. B. was arrayed in a superb speckled foulard, with the stripes running fore and aft, and withⒶemendation collets and camails to match; also, a rotonde of Chantilly lace, embroidered with blue and yellow dogs, and birds and things, done in cruel, and edged with a SolferinoⒶemendation fringe four inches deep—lovely. Mrs. B. is tall, and gracefulⒶemendation and beautiful, and the general effect of her costume was to render her appearance extremely lively.
Miss J. W. wore a charming robe polonais of scarlet ruche a la vieille, with yellow fluted flounces of rich bombazine, fourteen inches wide; low neck and short sleeves; also a Figaro veste of bleached domestic—selvedge edge turned down with a back-stitchⒶemendation, and trimmed with festoons of blue chicoree taffetas—gay?—I reckon not. Her head-dress was the sweetest thing you ever saw: a bunch of stately ostrich plumes—red and white—springing like fountains above each ear, with a crown between, consisting of a single fleur de soliel, fresh from the garden—Ah, me! Miss W. looked enchantingly pretty; however, there was nothing unusual about that—I have seen her look so, even in a milder costume.
Mrs. J. B. W.Ⓔexplanatory note wore a heavy rat-colored brocade silk, studded with large silver stars, and trimmed with organdy; balloon sleeves of nankeen pique, gathered at the wrist, cut bias and hollowed out some at the elbow; also, a bournous of black Honiton lace, scolloped, and embroidered in violent colors with a battle piece representing the taking of Holland by the Dutch; low neck and high-heeled shoes; gloves; palm-leaf fan; hoops; her head-dress consistedⒶhistorical collation of a simple maroon-coloredⒶemendation SontagⒺexplanatory note, with festoons of blue illusion depending from it; upon her bosom reposed a gorgeous bouquet of real sage brush, imported from Washoe. Mrs. W. looked regally handsome. If every article of dress worn by her on this occasion had been multiplied seven times, I do not believe it would have improved her appearance any.
Miss C. wore an elegant Cheveux de la Reine (with ruffles and [begin page 311] furbelows trimmed with bands of guipreⒶtextual note round the bottom), and a mohair Garibaldi shirt; her unique head-dressⒶemendation was crowned with a graceful pomme de terre (Limerick French), and she had her hair done up in papers—greenbacksⒺexplanatory note. The effect was very rich, partly owing to the market value of the material, and partly to the general loveliness of the lady herself.
Miss A. H. wore a splendid Lucia de Lammermoor, trimmed with green baize: also, a cream-colored mantilla-shaped pardessus, with a deep gore in the neck, and embellished with a wide greque of taffetas ribbon, and otherwise garnished with ruches, and radishes and things. Her coiffure was a simple wreath of sardines on a string. She was lovely to a fault.
Now, what do you think of that effort, Bettie (I wish I knew your other name) for an unsanctified newspaper reporter, devoid of a milliner's education? Doesn't it strike you that there are more brains and fewer oysters in my head thanⒶemendation a casual acquaintance with me would lead one to suppose? Ah, well—what I don't know, Bet, is hardly worth the finding out, I can tell you. I could have described the dresses of all the ladies in that party, but I was afraid to meddle with those of strangers, because I might unwittingly get something wrong, and give offense. You see strangers never exercise any charity in matters of this kind—they always get mad at the least inaccuracies of description concerning their apparel, and make themselves disagreeable. But if you will just rig yourself up according to the modelsⒶhistorical collation Ⓐemendation I have furnished you, BetsⒶhistorical collation, you'll do, you know—you can weather the circus.
You will naturally wish to be informed as to the most fashionable style of male attire, and I may as well give you an idea of my own personal appearance at the party. I wore one of Mr. Lawlor'sⒺexplanatory note shirts, and Mr. Ridgway'sⒶhistorical collation vest, and Dr. Wayman's coat, and Mr. Camp'sⒺexplanatory note hat, and Mr. Paxton'sⒺexplanatory note boots, and Jerry Long'sⒺexplanatory note white kids, and Judge Gilchrist'sⒺexplanatory note cravat, and the Unreliable's brass seal-ring, and Mr.Ⓐtextual note Ⓐhistorical collation Ⓐemendation Tollroad McDonald'sⒺexplanatory note pantaloons—and if you have an idea that they are anyways short in the legs, do you just climb into them once, sweetness. The balance of my outfit I gathered up indiscriminately from various individuals whose names I have forgotten and have now no means of ascertaining, as I thoughtlessly erased the marks from the different garments this morning. But I looked salubrious, B., if ever a man did.
[begin page 312]Messrs Editors, I never wrote such a personal article as this before. I expect I had better go home, now. Well, I have been here long enough, anyhow. I didn't come down to stay always, in the first place. I don't know of anything more here that I want to see. I might just as well go home now, as not. I have been wanting to go home for a good while. I don't see why I haven't gone before this. They all say it is healthier up there than it is here. I believe it. I have not been very well for a week. I don't eat enough, I expect. But I would stay here just as long as I pleased though, if I wanted to. But I don't. Well, I don't care—I am going home—that is the amount of it—and very soon, too—maybe sooner.
Mark Twain.
Historical Collation
Texts collated
GE “Mark Twain—More of Him,” San Francisco Golden Era 11 (27 September 1863): 3.TEnt “Letter from Mark Twain,” Virginia City Territorial Enterprise, 21–24 June 1863, clipping in Scrapbook 4, pp. 42–43, MTP.
The first printing of the sketch in this form appeared in the San Francisco Golden Era 11 (27 September 1863): 3 (GE), but the main body of the sketch, “Letter from Mark Twain,” had already appeared in the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise sometime between 21 and 24 June 1863 (TEnt). Printer's copy for GE was undoubtedly made up from a TEnt clipping, perhaps “dreadfully tattered and torn” (309.5–6), plus the author's manuscript for the new prefatory letter from “A Lady at the Lick House.” Since none of this printer's copy survives, copy-text for the sketch is double: GE is copy-text for the prefatory letter, while the only known copy of TEnt, now in Scrapbook 4, pp. 42–43, MTP, is copy-text for the remainder. Copy: PH of GE from Bancroft.
Since Mark Twain provided some new copy for the reprinting, he had an opportunity to revise and correct the clipping from TEnt. Seven small substantive variants occur between GE and TEnt, but only one of these seems manifestly authorial, and we have adopted it here. Emendation of misspelling has, for the most part, been forgone: many of the technical terms have no clearly established spelling, and even when those that do are here misspelled, the error must be regarded as an inseparable part of the mock expertise flourished by the “unsanctified newspaper reporter, devoid of a milliner's education” (311.14–15). Punctilious spelling would only interfere with the intended effect.
A number of ambiguities caused by poor inking in TEnt have been resolved from GE, which may have been set from a slightly better copy and so carries the authority of the original.