Explanatory Notes
Apparatus Notes
MTPDocEd
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33. Our Stock Remarks
30–31 December 1862

“Our Stock Remarks” is preserved in a clipping from the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise in one of the scrapbooks Orion kept for his brother. The spoof is the first item in a column of nine routine local items. Although the column is of course unsigned, Clemens identified himself in the piece as “Sam,” some four weeks before he adopted the name “Mark Twain” (see “Letter from Carson City,” no. 40).

The scrapbook clipping is undated, but it must have appeared on Tuesday or Wednedsay, 30 or 31 December 1862. Two other items in the column announce forthcoming events (an election and a school reopening) that are to take place “next Monday.” A second Enterprise column, which must have appeared on Sunday, 4 January 1863, is preserved in another scrapbook, and it mentions the same events and says they will take place “to-morrow” (Monday, January 5).1 “Our Stock Remarks” could therefore have appeared anytime in the week prior to January 4. Still another item in the column containing the sketch says that the “Virginia Cadets . . . will appear in public on New Year's Day,” which allows us to rule out January 1–3. Since the Enterprise did not publish on Mondays, we can also exclude December 29. And since Clemens says “New Year's Day” rather than “to-morrow,” it seems likely that he wrote on December 30 rather than 31, although either date is possible.

Like other newspapers on the Comstock Lode, the Enterprise closely followed mining activity and the stock exchange. Its daily column “Stock Remarks” (to which Clemens' title alludes) combined news of stock quotations, market trends, mining litigation, and endorsements of specific mines or mining districts.

Editorial Notes
1 Scrapbook 1, p. 66, MTP.
Textual Commentary

The first printing appeared in the Virginia City Territorial Enterprise for 30 or 31 December 1862. The only known copy of this printing, in a clipping in Scrapbook 4, p. 14, MTP, is copy-text. There are no textual notes or emendations.

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Our Stock Remarks

Owing to the fact that our stock reporterexplanatory note attended a wedding last evening, our report of transactions in that branch of robbery and speculation is not quite as complete and satisfactory as usual this morning. About eleven o'clock last night the aforesaid remarker pulled himself up stairs by the banisters, and stumbling over the stove, deposited the following notes on our table, with the remark: “S(hic)am, just 'laberate this, w(hic)ill, yer?” We said we would, but we couldn't. If any of our readers think they can, we shall be pleased to see the translation. Here are the notes: “Stocks brisk, and Ophirexplanatory note has taken this woman for your wedded wife. Some few transactions have occurred in rings and lace veils, and at figures tall, graceful and charming. There was some inquiry late in the day for parties who would take them for better or for worse, but there were few offers. There seems to be some depression in this stock. We mentioned yesterday that our Father which art in heaven. Quotations of lost reference, and now I lay me down to sleep,” &c., &c., &c.

Explanatory Notes Our Stock Remarks
 our stock reporter] If Clemens had a real reporter in mind, he must have been Stephen E. Gillis, with whom he shared a room at the time. According to Dan De Quille, both Gillis and C. A. V. Putnam were long engaged by the Enterprise to do much of the writing other than editorials and local items (Dan De Quille, “The Passing of a Pioneer,” San Francisco Examiner, 22 January 1893, p. 15). The reference cannot be to Putnam, for he did not join the paper until May 1863 (C. A. V. Putnam, “Dan De Quille and Mark Twain,” Salt Lake City Tribune, 25 April 1898, p. 3). Nor could Clemens refer to Dan, who ordinarily reported on mining news, for he had left Virginia City on 27 December 1862 (see “The Illustrious Departed,” no. 32).
 Ophir] The Ophir was an exceptionally wealthy mining company on the Comstock Lode. In a letter to his family Clemens related his experience of descending deep into the “Ophir perpendicular” and touring the famous mine (Clemens to Jane Clemens et al., February 1862, CL1 , letter 42).