Well, all day him and the king was hard at it, rigging up a stage, and a curtain, and a row of candles for footlightsⒶhistorical collation; and that night the house was jam full of men in no time. When the place couldn’t hold noⒶemendation more, the duke heⒶemendation quit tending doorⒶhistorical collation and went around the back way and come onto the stage and stood upⒶemendation before the curtain, and made a little speech, and praised up this tragedy, and said it was the most thrillingest one that ever was; and so he went on,Ⓐhistorical collation a-braggingⒶemendation about the tragedy,Ⓐhistorical collation and about Edmund Kean the ElderⒶalteration in the MS, which was to play the main principalⒶemendation part in it; and at last when he’dⒶemendation got everybody’s expectations up high enough, he rolled up the curtain, and the next minute the king come a-prancing out on all fours, nakedⒶemendation; and he was painted,Ⓐhistorical collation all overⒶalteration in the MS, ring-streaked-and-stripedⒶemendation, all sorts of colors, as splendidⒶalteration in the MS as a rain-bowⒶhistorical collation. And—but never mindⒶemendation the rest of his outfit,Ⓐemendation it was just wild, butⒶemendation it was awful funny.Ⓐhistorical collation The people mostⒶemendation killed themselves laughing; and when the king got done capering, and capered off behind the scenes, they roared and clapped and stormed and haw-hawedⒶhistorical collation till he come back and done it over again; and after that, they made him do it another time. Well, it would a madeⒶhistorical collation a cow laugh,Ⓐhistorical collation to see the shines thatⒶemendation old idiot cut.
Then the duke heⒶemendation letsⒶalteration in the MS the curtain down, and bows to the people, and says the great tragedy will be performed only two nights more, on accounts of pressing London engagements, where the seats is all [begin page 197] sold areadyⒶemendation for it in Drury Lane; and then heⒶemendation makes them another bow, and says if he has succeeded in pleasing themⒶemendation and instructing them, he will beⒶalteration in the MS deeply obleegedⒶemendation if they will mention itⒶemendation to their friends and getⒶemendation them to come and see it.
Twenty people singsⒶemendation out:
“What, is it over? Is that all?”
The duke saysⒶemendation yes. Then there was a fine time. Everybody singsⒶemendation out “Sold!Ⓐhistorical collation” andⒶalteration in the MS rose up mad, and was agoingⒶhistorical collation for that stage and them tragedians. But a bigⒶhistorical collation fine lookingⒶhistorical collation man jumpsⒶalteration in the MS up on a bench and shouts:
“Hold on! Just a word, gentlemen.” They stopped to listen. “We are sold—mightyⒶemendation badly soldⒶemendation. But we don’tⒶemendation want to be the laughing-stockⒶemendation of this whole town, I reckon,Ⓐemendation and never hear the last of this thing as long as we live.Ⓐemendation No. What we want,Ⓐhistorical collation is to go out of hereⒶalteration in the MS quiet, and talk this show up, and sell the rest of the town! Then we’ll all be in the same boat. Ain’t that sensible?” [“YouⒶhistorical collation bet it is!—the jedge is right!” everybody singsⒶemendation out.]Ⓐhistorical collation “All right, then—not a word about any sell. Go along home, and advise everybody to come and see the tragedy.”
Next day you couldn’t hear nothingⒶemendation around that town but how splendid that show was. House was jammed again,Ⓐhistorical collation that night,Ⓐalteration in the MS and we sold this crowd the same way. When me and the kingⒶalteration in the MS and the dukeⒶalteration in the MS got homeⒶalteration in the MS to the raft, we all had a supper; and by and byⒶhistorical collation, about midnight, they made Jim and me back her out and float her down the middle of the riverⒶhistorical collation and fetch her in and hide her about two mile below town.
[begin page 198] The third night the house was crammedⒶemendation again—and they warn’t newcomers,Ⓐhistorical collation this time, but people that was at the show the other two nights. I stood by the duke at the door, and I see that every man that went in had his pockets bulging, or something muffled up under his coat—and I see it warn’t no perfumery,Ⓐhistorical collation neither, not by a longⒶemendation sight. I smelt sicklyⒶemendation eggs by the barrel, and rotten cabbages, and such things;Ⓐhistorical collation and if I know the signsⒶemendation of a dead cat being aroundⒶemendation, and I bet I do, there was sixty-four of them went in.Ⓔexplanatory note I shoved in there for a minute, but it was too variousⒶemendation for me, I couldn’t stand it.Ⓐhistorical collation Well, when the place couldn’t hold no more people, the duke he give a fellow a quarter and told him to tend door for him a minute, and then he started around for the stage door, I after him; but the minute we turned the corner and was in the dark, he says:
“Walk fast, now, till you get away from the houses, and then shin for the raft like the dickens was after you!”
I done it, and he done the same. We struck the raft at the same time, and in less than two seconds we was gliding down stream, all dark and still, and edging towards the middle of the riverⒶemendation, nobody saying a word. I reckoned the poor king was in for a gaudy time of it with the audience; but nothing of the sort:Ⓐhistorical collation pretty soon he crawlsⒶemendation out from under the wigwam, and says:
“Well, how’d theⒶalteration in the MS old thing pan out this time, dukeⒶhistorical collation?”
He hadn’tⒶalteration in the MS been up town at all.
We never showed a light till we was about ten mile below that village. Then we lit up and had a supper, and the king and the duke fairly laughed their bones looseⒶemendation over the way they’d served them people. The duke says:
“Greenhorns, flatheads! I knew the first house would keep mum and let the rest of the town get roped in; and I knew they’d lay for us the third night, and considerⒶemendation it was their turn nowⒶemendation. Well, it is their turn, and I’d give something to know how muchⒶemendation they’d take for it.Ⓐalteration in the MS IⒶemendation would just like to know how they’re putting in their opportunity. TheyⒶalteration in the MS can turn it into a picnic, if they want to—they brought plenty provisions.Ⓐhistorical collation”
Them rapscallions took in four hundred and sixty-five dollarsⒺexplanatory note in that three nights. I never see money hauled in by the wagon loadⒶhistorical collation like that,Ⓐhistorical collation before.
By and byⒶemendation, when they was asleep and snoring, Jim says:
[begin page 199] “Don’t it spriseⒶhistorical collation you, de way dem kings carries on, Huck?”Ⓐemendation
“No,” I says, “it don’t.”
“Why don’t it, Huck?”
“Well, itⒶemendation don’t, because it’s in the breed. I reckon they’re all alike.”
“ButⒶhistorical collation Huck, dese kings o’ ourn is reglarⒶhistorical collation rapscallions; dat’s jist what dey is; dey’sⒶemendation reglar rapscallions.”
“Well, that’s what I’m a-saying; all kings is mostly rapscallions, as fur as I can make out.”
“Is dat so?”
“You read about them once—you’ll see. Look at HenryⒶalteration in the MS the Eight; this’n ’sⒶhistorical collation a Sunday School superintendentⒶhistorical collation to him. And look at Charles Second, and Louis Fourteen, and Louis Fifteen,Ⓐalteration in the MS and James Second, and Edward Second, and Richard Third, and forty more; besides all them Saxon heptarchiesⒺexplanatory note that used to rip around so in old times and raise Cain. My, you ought to seen old Henry the Eight when he was in bloom. HeⒶalteration in the MS was a blossom. He used to marry a new wife every day,Ⓐhistorical collation and chop off her head next morning. And he would do it just as indifferent as if he was ordering up eggs. ‘Fetch up Nell Gwynn,’ he says. They fetch her up. Next morning,Ⓐhistorical collation ‘Chop off her head!’ And they chop it off. ‘Fetch up Jane Shore,’ he says; and up she comes. Next morning, ‘Chop off her head’—and they chop it off. ‘RingⒶalteration in the MS up FairⒶalteration in the MS Rosamun.’ Fair RosamunⒺexplanatory note answers the bell. Next morning, ‘Chop off her head.’Ⓐalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation And he made every one of them tell him a tale every night; and he kept that up till he had hogged a thousand and one tales that way, and then he putⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation them all in a book, and called it DomesdayⒶemendation BookⒺexplanatory note—which was a good name,Ⓐhistorical collation and stated the case.Ⓐalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation You don’t know kings, Jim, butⒶemendation I know them; and this old rip of ourn is one of the cleanest I’ve struck in history. Well, Henry he takes a notion he wants to get up some trouble with this country. How does he go at it—give notice?—giveⒶhistorical collation the country a show? No. AllⒶalteration in the MS of a sudden he heaves all the tea in Boston harborⒶalteration in the MS Ⓐhistorical collation overboard, and whacks out a declaration of independence, and dares them to come on. That was his style—he never give anybody a chance.Ⓐalteration in the MS He had suspicions of his father, the dukeⒶhistorical collation of Wellington. Well, what did he do?—ask him to show up? No—drownded him in a butt of mamsey, like a catⒶemendation. Spose people left money laying around where he was—what did he do? He collared it. Spose he contracted to do a thing; and you [begin page 200] paid him, and didn’t set down there and see that he done itⒶalteration in the MS—what did he do? He always done the other thing. Spose he opened his mouth—what then? IfⒶalteration in the MS he didn’t shut it upⒶemendation powerful quick, he’d lose a lie, every time. That’s the kind of a bug Henry was; and if we’d a had him along steadⒶhistorical collation of our kings,Ⓐhistorical collation he’d a fooledⒶemendation that town a heapⒶalteration in the MS worse than ourn done. I don’t say that ourn is lambs, because they ain’tⒶemendation, when you come right down to the cold facts; but they ain’t nothing to that old ram, anyway. All I say,Ⓐhistorical collation is, kings is kings, and you got to make allowances. Take them all around, they’re a mighty ornery lot. It’s the way they’re raised.”
“But dis one do smell so like de nation, Huck.”
“Well, they all do, Jim. We can’t help the way a king smells; history don’t tell no way.”
“Now de duke, he’sⒶalteration in the MS a tolerbleⒶemendation likely man, in some ways.Ⓐalteration in the MS Ⓐemendation”
“Yes, a duke’s different. But not veryⒶalteration in the MS different. This one’sⒶalteration in the MS a middling hard lot,—Ⓐalteration in the MS Ⓐhistorical collationfor a duke. When he’s drunk, there ain’t no near-sighted man could tellⒶalteration in the MS him from a king.”
“Well, anyways, I doanⒶhistorical collation hanker for no mo’ un um, Huck. Dese is all I kin stan’.”
[begin page 201] “It’s the way I feel, too, Jim. But we’ve got them on our hands, and we got to remember what they are, and make allowances. Sometimes I wish we could hear of a country that’s out of kings.”Ⓐhistorical collation
What was the use to tell Jim these warn’t real kings and dukes? It wouldn’t a doneⒶhistorical collation no good; and besides, it was just as I said; you couldn’t tell them from the real kind.Ⓐemendation
I went to sleep, and Jim didn’t call me when it was my turn. He often done that. When I waked up, just at daybreak, he was setting there with his head down betwixt his knees, moaning and mourning to himself. I didn’t take notice, nor let on. I knowed what it was about. He was thinking about his wife and his children, away up yonder, and he was low and homesick; because he hadn’t ever been away from home before in his life; and I do believe he cared just as much for his people as white folks does for theirnⒶhistorical collation Ⓐalteration in the MS. It don’t seem natural, but I reckon it’sⒶemendation so. He was often moaning and mourning,Ⓐhistorical collation that way, nights, when he judged I was asleep,Ⓐalteration in the MS and sayingⒶhistorical collation “Po’ little ’Lizabeth! po’ little Johnny! itⒶhistorical collation mighty hard; I spec’ I ain’t ever gwyne to see you no mo’, no mo’!” He was a mighty good nigger, Jim was.Ⓐalteration in the MS
But this time I somehow got to talking to him about his wife and young ones; and by and byⒶhistorical collation he says:
“What makeⒶhistorical collation me feel so bad dis time, ’uz bekase I hear sumpn over yonder on de bank like a whack, er a slam, while ago, en it mineⒶemendation me er de time I treat my little ’Lizabeth so ornery. She warn’t on’y ’bout fo’ year ole, en she tuck de sk’yarlet fever, en had a powful rough spell; but she got well, en one day she was a-stannin’ aroun’, en I says to her, I says:
“ ‘ShetⒶhistorical collation de do’.’
“SheⒶemendation never done it; jis’Ⓐalteration in the MS stood dah, kiner smilin’ up at me. It make me mad; en I says agin, mighty loud, I says:
“ ‘DoanⒶhistorical collation you hearⒶalteration in the MS me?—shet de do’!’
“SheⒶemendation jis’ stood deⒶalteration in the MS same way, kiner smilin’ up. I was a-bilin’!Ⓐemendation I says:
“ ‘I lay I make you mineⒶemendation!’
“EnⒶemendation wid dat I fetch’ her a slap side de head dat sont herⒶalteration in the MS a-sprawlin’. Den I went into de yuther room, en ’uzⒶalteration in the MS gone ’bout ten minutes; en when I come back, dah was dat do’ a-stannin’ open yit, en dat chile stannin’ mos’ right in it, a-lookin’ down enⒶhistorical collation mournin’, en de tears runnin’ down. My, but I wuz mad.Ⓐhistorical collation I was agwyneⒶalteration in the MS for de chile, but jis’Ⓐalteration in the MS den—it was a do’ dat open’Ⓐhistorical collation innerds—jis’ den, ’long come de wind en [begin page 202] slam it to, behine de chile, ker-blam!—en my lan’, de chile neverⒶalteration in the MS move’! My breff mos’ hop outer me; en I feel so—so—I doanⒶhistorical collation know how I feel. I cropeⒶalteration in the MS out, all a-tremblin’, en crope aroun’ en open de do’ easy en slow, en poke my head in behine de chile, sof’ en still, en all uvⒶemendation a suddenⒶhistorical collation I says pow! jis’ as loud as I could yell. She never budge! Ⓐemendation Ⓐalteration in the MS OⒶhistorical collation, Huck, I bust out a-cryin’,Ⓐhistorical collation en grab her up in my armsⒶhistorical collation en say, ‘OⒶhistorical collation de po’ little thing! de LordⒶalteration in the MS God Amighty fogive po’ ole Jim, kaze he never gwyne to fogive hisseffⒶemendation as long’sⒶemendation he live!’ OⒶhistorical collation, she was plumb deef en dumbⒺexplanatory note, Huck, plumb deef en dumb—en I’d ben a treat’nⒶhistorical collation her so!”Ⓐhistorical collation Ⓐalteration in the MS