(1904 or 1905)
Probably written between November 1904 and February 1905 while Clemens was following the events of the Russo-Japanese War with the hope that the czarist regime would be ended, “Flies and Russians” superimposes Mark Twain's philosophical viewpoint and fantasy upon contemporary history. The satire is not primarily directed at the Russian subjects who are seen as too foolish and too cowardly to achieve their independence; rather, it is aimed at nature and by implication at the Creator for having apparently made these people (and flies) for no good purpose. Mark Twain sometimes represented the whole of humanity to be as useless and degraded as he here shows the Russians, who had been merely the latest to disappoint his hopes for human liberty and brotherhood.
“Flies and Russians” was written at about the same time as “The Czar's Soliloquy.” The twelve pages of the manuscript were originally numbered 1–12 and later renumbered 14–25. There is a possibility that, as renumbered, the manuscript may have been part of a draft of “The Czar's Soliloquy,” which ends as the czar, standing naked before a mirror, is about to dress. In “Flies and Russians,” as the manuscript now begins (the original opening and a “Postscript” were canceled), “his Majesty”—presumably the Czar of Russia—is reading, undershirt in hand. Published in the March 1905 North American Review, “The Czar's Soliloquy” was there dated “February 2, 1905.” “Flies and Russians” may have been written about then or as much as two months earlier—the date “November 29” was written and canceled on the last page of the typescript. The title is Paine's, who dated the work, “about 1904 or 5.”
( A pause Ⓐemendation Ⓐalteration in the MS and a grimace—then his Majesty continues to read. Takes up his undershirt but forgets it and stands with it dangling from his hand while he reads on, spell-bound, unconscious, fascinated.)
There are a number of ways of justifying the existence of the human race, some of them quite plausible. There are also approximately plausibleⒶalteration in the MS ways of justifying and excusing the continuance of several nations which apparently ought to have been discontinuedⒶalteration in the MS many centuries ago. Among these the Russian nation mayⒶalteration in the MS be instanced as anⒶalteration in the MS example. When we look down the ages and examine the history of that people we are puzzled and keep asking, What are the Russians for? How did the Russians happen? Were they intentional, or wereⒶalteration in the MS they an accident? If they were intentional, what was the intention?
In my opinion,—Ⓐalteration in the MSafter months ofⒶalteration in the MS considering and examining—they were intentional. I think this because I am sure their history shows indications of intelligent design—at least design—in the invention and creation of those people. It is my belief that they were created for an object; I think there was a purpose in view. I think this is evidenced in the fact that century after century, from the beginning of Russian time, they have clung, without wavering, to a single ideal, a single ambition, a single industry, and have cared for nothing else, labored for nothing else, been indifferent to all things else.
Examine the proposition for yourself, by the light of analogy. How [begin page 422] do we know what a rabbit is for? The rabbit's history tells us what the rabbit is for. How do we know what a mollusk is for? The mollusk's history tells us what the mollusk is for. How do we know what an idiot is for? The idiot's history tells us what the idiot is for. If we combine these three and add the bee,Ⓐalteration in the MS what do we get? A Russian. How do we know that we have got a Russian? The Russian's history tells us we have got him; and at the same time reveals to us what he is for.
The captive rabbit spends its whole life in meek submission to whatever master is over it; the mollusk spends its whole life asleep, drunk, content; the idiot lives his days in a dull and cloudy dream, and reasons not; the bee slaves from dawn to dark storing up honey for a robber to live on.Ⓐalteration in the MS
Since history shows us that through all the ages from its birth the Russian nation has devoted all its strength and mind and soul to coddling, aggrandizing, adoring and enriching a single robber family, a single family of bloody and heartless oppressors,Ⓐalteration in the MS it seems proven and established that that is what the Russian nation is for. It seems proven and established that the creation of that nation was intentional. Coldly intentional. Why a nation should be created for such a function, is another matter. We have no way of finding out. We only know that nothing was to be gained by it; that nothing has been gained by it; that nothing is ever goingⒶalteration in the MS to be gained by it. It is an enigma, a miscarriage—like the founding of the fly.
It is possible that at the timeⒶalteration in the MS the idea of creating the Russian nation was first conceived, the grotesqueⒶalteration in the MS nature of the result was not clearly foreseen. I think that this is the honorable view to take of it. It was so with the fly. It would not be right for us to allow ourselves to believe that the fly would have been created if the way he was going to act had been fullyⒶalteration in the MS known beforehand. I think we may not doubt that the fly was a disappointment. I think we haveⒶalteration in the MS reason to believe that he did not come up to expectations. This argument justifies us in surmising that it is the same with the Russians. The making of flies and Russians—just as they are, I mean—could not have been intentional. Necessarily the ideaⒶalteration in the MS was to supply a long-felt want; we know this because that was always the idea whenever anything was made. Very well, where was the long-feltⒶemendation want? We all knowⒶalteration in the MS there wasn't any. [begin page 423] And suppose there had been a long-felt want,—do you reckon you could supply it with flies and Russians? Certainly not. Then what do these reasonings force upon us? They force upon us the conviction that while they were of course intended to supply a long-felt want, they presently developed unforeseen novelties and abnormalities which disqualified them. Nobody is to blame, but there are the facts. We have the flies and the Russians, we cannot help it, let us not moanⒶalteration in the MS about it, but manfully accept the dispensation and do the best we can with it. Time will bring relief, this we know, for we have history for it. Nature had made many and many a mistakeⒶalteration in the MS before she added flies and Russians, and always she corrected them as soon as she could. She will correct this one too—in time. Geological time. For she is a slow worker, and not to beⒶalteration in the MS hurried by any one's complaints or persuasions, nor by the skippy activities of her own frivolous intellect.Ⓐalteration in the MS
She made a mistake in the megatherium. It turned out to be absolutelyⒶtextual note useless.Ⓐalteration in the MS It took her a million years to find it out; then she abolished the megatherium. By and byⒶalteration in the MS she tried saurians; she made saurians ninety feet long, and what to do with them after she made them, she did not know. They were long enough to supply any long-felt wantⒶalteration in the MS that merely required inches and plenty of them; but there was no such want. Others found it out early; it took Nature a million years to perceive it; then she abolished the brood. NextⒶalteration in the MS she tried to make a reptile that could fly. We know the result. The less said about the pterodactylⒶalteration in the MS the better.Ⓐalteration in the MS It was a spectacle, that beast! a mixture of buzzard and alligator, a sarcasmⒶalteration in the MS, an affront to all animated nature, a butt for the ribald jests of an unfeeling world. After some ages Nature perceived that to put feathers on a reptile does not ennoble it, does not make it a bird, but only a sham, a joke, a grotesque curiosity, a monster; also that there was no useful thing for the pterodactyl to do, and nothing likely to turn up in the future that could furnish it employment. And so she abolished it.
Nature made thousands and thousands of now extinctⒶalteration in the MS species in her apprentice-days which turned out to be pure failures, like the flies and the Russians, and she devoted millions of years to trying to hunt up long-felt wants for them to supply, but there were none, and a museum never occurred to her.Ⓐalteration in the MS So she abolished them all, and scat- [begin page 424] tered their bones in myriads in the eternal rocks, and there they rest to this day, a solemn reminder for us that for every animal-success achieved by herⒶalteration in the MS she has scored fifteen hundredⒶalteration in the MS failures. And this without including the flies and the Russians.
Herein we find our hope. We shall not live to see the happy day, but it will come. It will take her a million years to find out that there is no use for flies and Russians, then she will act with her accustomed promptness.
There is also another hope, and a pleasanter one. The first time Nature tried to make a horse, the result was pathetic. A stranger would have supposed it was a dog. But she worked at it a million years and enlarged it to the dimensions of a calf, removed a toe or two from its feet, and in other ways improved it. She worked at it another million, then another and another and still another million, and at last after nine or ten million years of thought and labor and worry and cussingⒶalteration in the MS she turned out for the grateful and cordial admiration of the world the horse as we see him to-day, that noble creature, that beautiful creature, that matchless darling of our love and worship. Ten million years are soon passed: what may not the fly and the Russian become?
AndⒶalteration in the MS yet, when we reflect! Even in our own day Russians could be made useful if only a way could be found to inject some intelligence into them. HowⒶalteration in the MS magnificently they fight in Manchuria! with what indestructible pluck they rise up after the daily defeat, and sternly strike, and strike again! how gallant they are, how devoted, how superbly unconquerable! If they wouldⒶalteration in the MS only reflect! if they could only reflect! if they only had something to reflect with! Then these humble and lovable slaves would perceive that the splendid fighting-energy which they are wasting to keep their chipmunk on the throne would abolish both him and it if intelligently applied.Ⓐalteration in the MS
The manuscript is copy-text. As the headnote indicates, page numbers show that “Flies and Russians” was originally part of a longer work, probably “The Czar's Soliloquy.” No ambiguous compound is hyphenated at the end of a line in the copy-text.