The present text is based upon an untitled manuscript, DV53, the only phase under Mark Twain's control. He could hardly have written the satire after September 1887. A canceled fragment of A Connecticut Yankee, DV22, paged 371–396, contains many of its passages, and by 15 August Mark Twain had completed 350 pages: see Howard G. Baetzhold, “The Course of Composition of A Connecticut Yankee: A Reinterpretation,” American Literature 33, no. 2 (May 1961): 199. The manuscript of the present work was earlier, for it was revised to the text represented by fair copy in the Yankee fragment. Baetzhold thinks Mark Twain wrote the “Letter” in August (p. 203), reasoning from a notebook entry in that month which mentions profits of J. Langdon & Company, an entry Dixon Wecter cited to prove that Mark Twain resented Andrew Langdon's share of the profits. But since Langdon did not share in them (see the Explanatory Notes) this argument does not hold. The only reliable earliest date is the one Mark Twain used in the manuscript—20 January. He refers to December profits of Langdon's own company and to other circumstances suggesting that the season of his point of view was winter. His reference to the quarter just ended as “forty years later” than the quarter ending 31 December 1847 need not weaken the case for 20 January 1887, because he often gave such figures in round numbers and often miscalculated them. The paper (Keystone Linen), ink, and handwriting are consistent with a wide range of dates in the 1880s.
The title in the present edition, now standard, was DeVoto's invention for the first printing in Harper's Magazine, February 1946. Earlier he had prepared the text for publication as “Letter to the Earth,” with Abner Scofield (the name in the Yankee fragment) in place of Andrew Langdon. This version was suppressed until publication of LE in 1962.
Three misspellings have been corrected, “dipththeria” diphtheria (65.18), “incerease” increase (66.10), and “nickle” nickel (70.2). A period has been supplied after “3” 3. (65.15) and hyphens in “to wit” to-wit (66.32) and “Prayer Meeting” Prayer-Meeting (68.6). Mark Twain inserted “—for” (69.31) but left “You” in upper case; the word is now in lower case.
Previous printings: Bernard DeVoto, “Letter from the Recording Angel,” Harper's Magazine 192, no. 1149 (February 1946): 106–109; RP, pp. 87–94; Mark Twain: A Laurel Reader, ed. Edmund Fuller (New York: Dell, 1958), pp. 361–366; The Complete Essays of Mark Twain, ed. Charles Neider (Garden City: Doubleday, 1963), pp. 685–689 (hereafter listed as Neider); as “Letter to the Earth,” LE, pp. 117–122.
[1887]
Office of the Recording Angel,
Dept. of Petitions, Jan. 20.
Andrew LangdonⒺexplanatory note,
Coal Dealer, Buffalo, N. Y.
I have the honor, as per command, to inform you that your recent act of benevolence and self-sacrifice has been recorded upon a page by itself of the Book called Golden Deeds of Men; a distinction, I am permitted to remark, which is not merely extraordinary, it is unique.
As regards your prayers, for the week ending the 19th, I have the honor to report as follows:
1. For weather to advance hard coal 15 cents per ton. Granted.
2. For influx of laborers to reduce wages 10 per cent. Granted.
3. For a break in rival soft-coal prices. Granted.
4. For a visitation upon the man, or upon the family of the man, who has set up a competing retail coal-yard in Rochester. Granted, as follows: diphtheria, 2, 1 fatal; scarlet fever, 1, to result in deafness and imbecility. Note. This prayer should have been directed against this subordinate's principals, the N. Y. Central RR Co.
5. For deportation to Sheol, of annoying swarms of persons [begin page 66] who apply daily for work, or for favors of one sort or another. Taken under advisement for later decision and compromise, this petition appearing to conflict with another one of same date, which will be cited further along.
6. For application of some form of violent death to neighbor who threw brick at family cat, whilst the which was serenading. Reserved for consideration and compromise, because of conflict with a prayer of even date to be cited further along.
7. To “damn the missionary cause.” Reserved also—as above.
8. To increase December profits of $22,230 to $45,000 for January, and perpetuate a proportionate monthly increase thereafter—“which will satisfy you.” The prayer granted; the added remark accepted with reservations.
9. For cyclone, to destroy the works and fill up the mine of the North Pennsylvania Co. Note: Cyclones are not kept in stock in the winter season. A reliable article of fire-damp can be furnished upon application.
Especial note is made of the above list, they being of particular moment. The 298 remaining supplications classifiable under the head of Special Providences, Schedule A, for week ending 19th, are granted in a body, except that 3 of the 32 cases requiring immediate death have been modified to incurable disease.
This completes the week's invoice of petitions known to this office under the technical designation of Secret Supplications of the Heart, and which for a reason which may suggest itself, always receive our first and especial attention.
The remainder of the week's invoice falls under the head of what we term Public Prayers, in which classification we place prayers uttered in Prayer Meeting, Sunday School, Class Meeting, Family Worship, etc. These kinds of prayers have value according to classification of Christian uttering them. By rule of this office, Christians are divided into two grand classes, to-wit: 1, Professing Christians; 2, Professional Christians. These, in turn, are minutely subdivided and classified by Size, Species, and Fami- [begin page 67] ly; and finally, Standing is determined by carats, the minimum being 1, the maximum 1,000.
As per balance-sheet for quarter ending Dec. 31st, 1847, you stood classified as follows:
Grand Classification, Professing Christian.
Size, one-fourth of maximum.
Species, Human-Spiritual.
Family, A of the Elect, Division 16.
Standing, 322 carats fine.
As per balance-sheet for quarter just ended,—that is to say, forty years later,—you stand classified as follows:
Grand Classification, Professional Christian.
Size, six one-hundredths of maximum.
Species, Human-Animal.
Family, W of the Elect, Division 1547.
Standing, 3 carats fine.
I have the honor to call your attention to the fact that you seem to have deteriorated.
To resume report upon your Public Prayers—with the side remark that in order to encourage Christians of your grade and of approximate grades, it is the custom of this office to grant many things to them which would not be granted to Christians of a higher grade—partly because they would not be asked for:
Prayer for weather mercifully tempered to the needs of the poor and the naked. Denied. This was a Prayer-Meeting prayer. It conflicts with Item 1 of this Report, which was a Secret Supplication of the Heart. By a rigid rule of this office, certain sorts of Public Prayers of Professional Christians are forbidden to take precedence of Secret Supplications of the Heart.
Prayer for better times and plentier food “for the hard handed son of toil whose patient and exhausting labors make comfortable the homes, and pleasant the ways, of the more fortunate, and entitle him to our vigilant and effective protection from the wrongs and injustices which grasping avarice would do him, and to the [begin page 68] tenderest offices of our grateful hearts.” Prayer-Meeting Prayer. Refused. Conflicts with Secret Supplication of the Heart No. 2.
Prayer “that such as in any way obstruct our preferences may be generously blessed, both themselves and their families, we here calling our hearts to witness that in their worldly prosperity we are spiritually blessed, and our joys made perfect.” Prayer-Meeting Prayer. Refused. Conflicts with Secret Supplications of the Heart Nos. 3 and 4.
“Oh, let none fall heir to the pains of perdition through words or acts of ours.” Family Worship. Received fifteen minutes in advance of Secret Supplication of the Heart No. 5, with which it distinctly conflicts. It is suggested that one or the other of these prayers be withdrawn, or both of them modified.
“Be mercifully inclined toward all who would do us offence in our persons or our property.” Includes man who threw brick at cat. Family Prayer. Received some minutes in advance of No. 6, Secret Supplications of the Heart. Modification suggested, to reconcile discrepancy.
“Grant that the noble missionary cause, the most precious labor entrusted to the hands of men, may spread and prosper without let or limit in all heathen lands that do as yet reproach us with their spiritual darkness.” Uninvited prayer shoved in at meeting of American Board. Received nearly half a day in advance of No. 7, Secret Supplications of the Heart. This office takes no stock in missionaries, and is not connected in any way with the American Board. We should like to grant one of these prayers, but cannot grant both. It is suggested that the American Board one be withdrawn.
This office desires for the twentieth time to call urgent attention to your remark appended to No. 8. It is a chestnut.
Of the 464 specifications contained in your Public Prayers for the week, and not previously noted in this report, we grant 2, and deny the rest. To-wit: Granted, (1), “that the clouds may continue to perform their office; (2), and the sun his.” It was the divine purpose anyhow; it will gratify you to know that you have [begin page 69] not disturbed it. Of the 462 details refused, 61 were uttered in Sunday School. In this connection I must once more remind you that we grant no Sunday School Prayers of Professional Christians of the classification technically known in this office as the John WanamakerⒺexplanatory note grade. We merely enter them as “words,” and they count to his credit according to number uttered within certain limits of time, 3,000 per quarter-minute required, or no score; 4,200 in a possible 5,000 is a quite common Sunday School score, among experts, and counts the same as two hymns and a bouquet furnished by young ladies in the assassin's cell, execution-morning. Your remaining 401 details count for wind only. We bunch them and use them for head-winds in retarding the ships of improper people, but it takes so many of them to make an impression that we cannot allow anything for their use.
I desire to add a word of my own to this report. When certain sorts of people do a sizeable good deed, we credit them up a thousand-fold more for it than we would in the case of a better man—on account of the strain. You stand far away above your classification-record here, because of certain self-sacrifices of yours which greatly exceed what could have been expected of you. Years ago, when you were worth only $100,000, and sent $2 to your impoverished cousin the widow, when she appealed to you for help, there were many in heaven who were not able to believe it, and many more who believed that the money was counterfeit. Your character went up many degrees when it was shown that these suspicions were unfounded. A year or two later, when you sent the poor girl $4 in answer to another appeal, everybody believed it, and you were all the talk here for days together. Two years later you sent $6, upon supplication, when the widow's youngest child died, and that act made perfect your good fame. Everybody in heaven said, “Have you heard about Andrew?”—for you are now affectionately called Andrew here. Your increasing donation, every two or three years, has kept your name on all lips, and warm in all hearts. All heaven watches you Sundays, as you drive to church in your handsome carriage; and when your hand retires from the [begin page 70] contribution plate, the glad shout is heard even to the ruddy walls of remote Sheol, “Another nickel from Andrew!” But the climax came a few days ago, when the widow wrote and said she could get a school in a far village to teach if she had $50 to get herself and her two surviving children over the long journey; and you counted up last month's clear profit from your three coal mines—$22,230—and added to it the certain profit for the current month—$45,000 and a possible fifty—and then got down your pen and your check-book and mailed her fifteen whole dollars! Ah, Heaven bless and keep you forever and ever, generous heart! There was not a dry eye in the realms of bliss; and amidst the hand-shakings, and embracings, and praisings, the decree was thundered forth from the shining mount, that this deed should out-honor all the historic self-sacrifices of men and angels, and be recorded by itself upon a page of its own, for that the strain of it upon you had been heavier and bitterer than the strain it costs ten thousand martyrs to yield up their lives at the fiery stake; and all said, “What is the giving up of life, to a noble soul, or to ten thousand noble souls, compared with the giving up of fifteen dollars out of the greedy grip of the meanest white man that ever lived on the face of the earth?”
And it was a true word. And Abraham, weeping, shook out the contents of his bosom and pasted the eloquent label there, “Reserved;” and Peter, weeping, said, “He shall be received with a torchlight procession when he comes;” and then all heaven boomed, and was glad you were going there. And so was hell.
Signed
The Recording Angel. seal.
By command.
Andrew Langdon] Mark Twain's hostility toward Langdon has never been explained satisfactorily. DeVoto supposed that he was shocked at the large profits of J. Langdon & Company and that Andrew Langdon shared in them: see “Letter from the Recording Angel,” Harper's Magazine 192, no. 1149 (February 1946): 106. Wecter tried to prove DeVoto's suppositions, quoting notebook entries where Clemens listed company payments to Livy and where, in August 1887, he mentioned the success of the company's new colliery (see RP, p. xxv). On its face the DeVoto–Wecter argument seems weak, and it is irrelevant in light of the fact that Andrew Langdon had no connection with J. Langdon & Company.
Andrew Langdon (1835–1919), Livy's first cousin (DeVoto and Wecter believed he was her uncle), was perhaps best known in the 1870s and 1880s as a coal operator, but his enterprises already extended to banking and the metal industry. Later he became an officer in several communications and power companies. He took an active interest in Buffalo civic affairs, serving on the park commission and the grade-crossings commission. He was also president of the Buffalo Historical Society for fourteen years and held offices in the Academy of Fine Arts and the Society of Natural Sciences. He made several large gifts to the Historical Society and the city of Buffalo.
Clemens may have met Andrew Langdon by 1887, the probable year of composition, but their acquaintance could only have been slight. Even if Langdon committed such niggardly acts as appear in the satire, Livy and Clemens might not have heard about them, for the branches of the Langdon family were not in close or regular contact. Two letters from the author to Langdon are known to survive. One is a note written in 1900 shortly after the Clemenses returned to America, in which he cordially declines an unspecified invitation, perhaps a suggestion that the Clemenses visit Buffalo or renew residence there. The other is an equally cordial note of 1901 in which Clemens apologizes for being out when Langdon called. Though intense in 1887, his hostility had abated, and Langdon probably never knew of it.
Langdon's grandson, Mr. Andrew Langdon of Rochester, New York, suggests that Clemens tried unsuccessfully to enlist his grandfather among the backers of the Paige typesetter, and that in the extremity of his enthusiasm or need he could account for Langdon's refusal only by faults in his character. The suggestion seems plausible. Clemens was looking for backers in 1887, and he may well have turned to Langdon with the hope that the family tie would favorably affect his judgment. Following this hope, Langdon's refusal could have struck Clemens as an affront to himself and the family. It would have been typical of him to characterize Langdon as a gross egoist and hypocrite, already a common sort of figure in his vilifications after real or imagined insults. The important businessman and capitalist becomes a grasping “coal dealer.” Though he is a Christian, his faith is all words and show. In refusing Clemens he has in effect refused his cousin Livy, and such a man would treat his cousin selfishly even if she were an impoverished widow making a direct appeal (compare the “Letter”). But a variety of causes could have led Mark Twain to make the same kind of personal attack, and without further evidence his motives in this instance cannot be known.
For an informative sketch of Langdon see his obituary in the Buffalo Express, 16 November 1919. The first letter mentioned above is dated 2 November 1900 and has been given to the Mark Twain Papers by Mr. Andrew Langdon of Rochester, New York. The second is a typescript copy dated 21 January 1901, in the Clifton Waller Barrett Library, University of Virginia.