Clemens participated in a spelling match, organized as part of a fund-raising fair, on 12 May 1875 at Asylum Hill Congregational Church. Before the contest began, Twichell invited him to make a brief speech, which was reported verbatim the next morning in the Hartford Courant article transcribed here. Among the participants were several leading citizens and church members not previously identified in this volume: James S. Tryon, Sr., a trustee of the Mechanics Savings Bank; Elisha Carpenter (1824–97), a state supreme court judge and church deacon; Harriet Carpenter, his daughter; John S. Ives, proprietor of a dry-goods store on Main Street; Samuel F. Jones, an attorney; William I. Fletcher (b. 1844), assistant librarian at Watkinson Library; and Theodore Lyman, the church clerk. Charles Durand (1820–1900), speaker of the state house of representatives in 1875–76, was in the audience (Geer 1874, 67, 86, 88, 230, 251, 276, 290; Ritter and Wakelyn, 193–94).
SPELLING MATCH AND FESTIVAL.
Interesting Contest at the Asylum Hill Congregational Church Last Night—An Amusing Speech by “Mark Twain.”
The most important spelling match of the season took place at the Asylum Hill Congregational church last evening. The spelling was intended to be merely an extra attraction of a festival got up by the young people of the church, but the former completely overshadowed the latter and attracted a great crowd of people, filling the church in every part. Nobody expected such a concourse would assemble on short notice, but the fact that several distinguished citizens were expected to take part in the spelling aroused public interest to a remarkable degree. The chapel, which was used for festival purposes, was crowded till about 8:30 p. m., when the people went into the body of the church and listened to some excellent music from Mr. Irving Emerson, the organist, until it was time for the spelling to begin. First came the choosing of sides, Miss Blythe and Mr. Twichell the captains. They were made up as follows:—
Miss Blythe,
The Rev Dr Burton,
Miss Keep,
Mr Clemens,
Miss Trumbull,
Charles H Clark,
J S Tryon,
Sen.,
Miss Childs,
Judge Carpenter,
Miss Lucy Smith,
J S
Ives,
Miss Crane,
Miss Abbott,
Abel Clark,
S F Jones,
W I Fletcher.
Mr Twichell,
Miss M Bartlett,
Robert Keep,
Miss Stone,
General Hawley,
Miss Julia Burbank,
J G
Rathbun,
Mr Bartlett,
Charles E Perkins,
Miss Hammond,
Mr Baldwin,
Miss Darrow,
W Roberts,
Miss H Carpenter,
Andrew Hammond,
Miss Howard.
The contestants seated themselves on the platform and Mr. Twichell called upon Mr. Samuel L. Clemens for a few preliminary remarks. The latter mounted the platform beside the pulpit and spoke as follows:—
Ladies and Gentlemen—I have been honored with the office of introducing these approaching orthographical solemnities with a few remarks:—The temperance crusade swept the land some time ago1explanatory note—that is, that vast portion of the land where it was needed—but it skipped Hartford. Now comes this new spelling epidemic, and this time we are stricken. So I suppose we needed the affliction. I don’t say we needed it, for I don’t see any use in spelling a word right—and never did. I mean I don’t see any use in having a uniform and arbitrary way of spelling words. We might as well make all clothes alike and cook all dishes alike. Sameness is tiresome; variety is pleasing. I have a correspondent whose letters are always a refreshment to me, there is such a breezy unfettered originality about his orthography. He always spells Kow with a large K. Now that is just as good as to spell it with a small one. It is better. It gives the imagination a broader field, a wider scope. It suggests to the mind a grand, vague, impressive new kind of a cow. Superb effects can be produced by variegated spelling. Now there is Blind Tom,2explanatory note the musical prodigy. He always spells a word according to the sound that is carried to his ear. And he is an enthusiast in orthography. When you give him a word, he shouts it out—puts all his soul into it. I once heard him called upon to spell orang-outang before an audience. He said, “O, r-a-n-g, orang, g-e-r, ger, oranger, t-a-n-g, tang, orangger tang.” Now a body can respect an orang-outang that spells his name in a vigorous way like that. But the feeble dictionary makes a mere kitten of him. In the old times people spelled just as they pleased. That was the right idea. You had two chances at a stranger then. You knew a strong man from a weak one by his iron-clad spelling, and his handwriting helped you to verify your verdict.
Some people have an idea that correct spelling can be taught—and taught to anybody. That is a mistake. The spelling faculty is born in a man, like poetry, music, and art. It is a gift: it is a talent. People who have this gift in a high degree, only need to see a word once in print, and it is forever photographed upon their memory. They can not forget it. People who haven’t it must be content to spell more or less like—like thunder—and expect to splinter the dictionary wherever their orthographical lightning happens to strike. There are 114,000 words in the unabridged dictionary. I know a lady who can spell only 180 of them right. She steers clear of all the rest. She can’t learn any more. So her letters always consist of those constantly recurring 180 words. Now and then, when she finds herself obliged to write upon a subject which necessitates the use of some other words, she—well, she don’t write on that subject. I have a relative in New York who is almost sublimely gifted. She can’t spell any word right. There is a game called Verbarium. A dozen people are each provided with a sheet of paper, across the top of which is written a long word like kaleidoscopical, or something like that, and the game is to see who can make up the most words out of that in three minutes, always beginning with the initial letter of that word. Upon one occasion the word chosen was cofferdam. When time was called everybody had built from five to twenty words except this young lady. She only had one word—calf. We all studied a moment and then said, “Why there is no 1 in cofferdam.” Then we examined her paper. To the eternal honor of that uninspired, unconscious, sublimely independent soul be it said, she had spelt that word “caff!” If anybody here can spell calf any more sensibly than that, let him step to the front and take his milk.
Two prizes are offered for this evening’s contest, one for the speller that holds out longest, and one for the speller that falls first. The first prize is a choice between Guizot’s History of France, 5 octavo volumes, illustrated by De Neuvill, the London Art Journal for 1875, profusely illustrated with wood and steel; or a nosegay curiously painted upon slate—which picture is burned into the slate, and the surface is afterward beautifully polished. This ingenious sort of art is the invention of a New England lady. You can see fine specimens of it at Mr. Glazier’s.3explanatory note I have been instructed not to reveal just yet what the prize is, which is to be given to that untrammeled spirit who shall succeed in sitting down first. The insurrection will now begin.
Mr. Twichell then read the rules governing the match and the spelling began, Mr. J. S. Tryon, Jr., giving out the words for Mr. Wm. L. Cushing, who had prepared the list. Theodore Lyman and Miss Kate Burbank were referees. Judge Carpenter was the first to succumb, spelling gizzard with one “z.” Next Mr. John S. Ives used one too few “r”s in stirrup, and retired. The contestants then went down rapidly, one after the other, on the following words, which are here given as they were spelled:—portemonniae, disheville, cason, vermillion, metonomy, stirup, tranquility, achievment, idiocracy, escallop, pellisse, verdegris, allegable, collectable, rythmic, liqueble, sybil. Three or four of the above words floored several each. Mr. Twichell, one of the captains, went down for spelling pelisse with two ls, and Miss Blythe, the other, on escalop, for the same fault. After spelling for nearly an hour, only General Hawley, Mr. Roberts, Mr. Clemens, Charles H. Clark, Miss Keep, Dr. Burton, and Miss Stone were standing. General Hawley sat down on trisyllable, Mr. Roberts on sibyl, Miss Darrow on liqueble, Mr. Clemens on chaldron, (spelled by him cauldron,) and after the match it was discovered that Webster’s table of words in which different ways of spelling are sanctioned by “present usage,” gives this as one of the ways; Mr. Clark on felloe, and Miss Keep on alpaca. At 10 o’clock Dr. Burton and Miss Stone alone remained standing, but the former took the first opportunity to spell calicoes without the “e,” which left Miss Stone winner of the first prize. Mr. Clemens had offered as a prize for the best speller a choice between “Guizot’s exquisitely illustrated History of France, 300 wood engravings, 40 fine steel engravings, published by Estes & Lauriat, Boston, in 50 semi-monthly parts,” The “London Art Journal, Appleton, American publisher, in monthly parts,” and “A Nosegay, daintily painted upon slate, on a finely polished surface, the invention and handiwork of a New England lady.” Miss Stone chose the latter and Mr. Twichell presented it to her. Mr. Clemens presented Judge Carpenter with a box of children’s colored blocks, on which the letters of the alphabet were painted, as a prize for being the first speller to miss a word. The presentation elicited much merriment. Subsequently Judge Carpenter was presented with three volumes of public documents, including agricultural and credit mobilier investigation reports. Altogether the match proved very amusing, the Rev. Dr. Burton, Mr. Twichell and Mr. Clemens especially enlivening the exercises by occasional comments. Speaker Durand and a large number of members of the legislature were among the spectators.
The receipts at the fair and spelling match were over $600. There being a number of fancy articles still unsold the chapel will be open after 7 o’clock this evening for the sale of the remaining articles, consequently the usual Thursday evening lecture will be omitted.
Thomas Greene Bethune (1849–1908), known as “Blind Tom,” was born blind and autistic, but with extraordinary music talent. At age four he began to play the piano, and was soon able to repeat any piece he heard. He toured widely beginning in the late 1850s, and became celebrated for his prodigious and inexplicable abilities. Clemens saw him perform in 1869, and described him in a letter to the San Francisco Alta California (SLC 1869; Schmidt).
O. D. Glazier and Company, a picture and frame shop at 276 Main Street (Geer 1874, 72, 235).